It’s All About The Benjamins Baby: Is NFL Out For Safety Or Money

In recent years, the NFL and the Roger Goodell regime has really stepped up in the safety and image of the league, dishing out fines for outlandish behavior and on the field “maliciousness” in effect to promote the image of the league and prolong players careers.

 

What appeared to be a beneficial policy in some aspects soon has turned into what appears a way to get money grabbing policy.

 

In the past two years, the NFL has handed out its share of fines that leave some scratching their heads as to why. I mean, after all, football is a contact sport where big hits are glorified and worshipped. In fact, at the end of each season, NFL films releases its DVD of the biggest hits of the year.

 

And let’s not forget the series of video games in NFL Blitz where the focus of the game was to see how much you could hurt an opposing player. In the game you could hit another player back 20 yards and were able to body slam him after the play.

 

In recent news, Pittsburgh Steeler safety Tyrone Carter was fined $5,000 for a hit he put on Chicago Bears’ tight end Greg Olsen to break up a pass in last Sunday’s game – a hit that didn’t even receive a flag.

Olsen was slow to get up, but simply because he was winded, is what he explained. “My head was fine,” Olsen said, “It was a great hit, he made a great play.

This Pittsburgh Steelers aren’t strangers to being fined for what appears as no apparent reason. Wide receiver Hines Ward, the best blocking receiver in the game, received two fines last season in consecutive weeks. Ward did not receive a flag on either play.

 

Safety Troy Polamalu decided to take his shot at the league stating that defensive greats from the past such as Dick Butkus and Jack Tatum wouldn’t survive in the league now because they wouldn’t have enough money.

And he’s right. The Steel Curtain would never be able to survive with the punishing blows that Jack Lambert set up.

Lawrence Taylor, arguably the best linebacker to play the game was idolized due to the magnitude of the tackles he delivered.

“I think regarding the evolution of football, it’s becoming more and more flag football, two-hand touch,” Polamalu said. “We’ve really lost the essence of what real American football is about. I think it’s probably all about money. They’re not really concerned about safety.”

The Steelers have questioned the NFL for an answer as why to Carter was fined.

I think what the bigger question is what all the fines truly stand for. The NFL can always justify vaguely for their fines, but it appears that the NFL has entirely become a business and no longer a sport.

The league gets money however and whenever they can and instead of promoting the league’s image, it’s detracting from it to true fans.

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Buccaneers-Giants: Hide The Women and Children, Folks

As the eternal optimist among the Featured Columnists of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, it’s been said that I own a pair of Pewter-Colored glasses.

Sure enough, when you look at my first two previews and ultimate prediction, I’ve given the Buccaneers the benefit of the doubt. I truly believed the Bucs could beat the Cowboys and the Bills.

This time though, the glasses are off and folks, what my non-cloudy eyes perceive isn’t pretty.

From the amount of Giants fans likely to invade Raymond James Stadium to an offense that can attack the Buccaneers at both of their weakest points (deep ball and power-run game), to a defense that feeds on statuesque quarterbacks—this has the makings of a mauling.

So naturally, the Bucs will win.

Just kidding, not even I, the President of the Believe in the Dream of Raheem fan club can go there.

No, for Buccaneer fans, this one will have the appeal of a nasty car accident. You don’t want to look, you feel for those involved, but you just can’t seem to look away.

Even if the Giants come in flat after ruining Dallas’ unveiling of Jerryopolis on Monday night, few of the matchups—in fact only one—favor the Bucs.

With that said, in the immortal words of Chris Berman, “That’s why they play the games.” Upsets happen all the time in the NFL, some you just can’t imagine or explain. A team comes in heavily favored but coughs up the ball three or four times. The underdog hangs around long enough to believe there’s a chance and then something happens to burn the favorite.

The Buccaneers better hope this is one of those weeks.

When Last We Met: The Giants began their amazing run to their 2007 Super Bowl Championship by beating the Bucs in Tampa in the Wild Card Round of the playoffs, 24-14

Series: The Giants have won six of the last nine meetings and lead the overall series 11-6.

 

New York Giants Passing Attack vs. Tampa Bay Buccaneers Pass Defense

One of the interesting things about the New York Giants this season is they’ve won with Eli Manning’s arm, not their vaunted rushing attack. The Giants are fifth in the NFL passing the ball. That doesn’t look good for the Bucs 27th ranked pass defense.

The Bucs got a little better against the pass against the Bills, playing more of their familiar Tampa Two than they did in Week One. However, when Buffalo began to run the ball effectively, the Bucs had to creep up their safeties and the Bills began to attack that struggling secondary.

Tampa Bay’s lack of a pass rush continues to hinder their ability to defend the pass. The Giants come in with one of the better offensive lines in the NFL.

Manning was sensational in the Giants’ 33-31 thriller against Dallas, throwing for 330 yards and two touchdowns.

Advantage: New York

 

New York Giants Rushing Attack vs. Tampa Bay Buccaneers Run Defense

It’s amazing the Giants are 2-0 with Brandon Jacobs struggling to run the football.

The battering ram Jacobs is averaging only 3.3 yards a carry and has not reached the end zone in 2009. The Giants as a whole are a very pedestrian 22nd in the NFL pounding the rock with no rushing touchdowns.

The G-men’s running game will get a chance to get well this week, facing Tampa Bay’s 27th ranked run defense.

The Bucs missed 24 tackles and allowed unheralded running back Fred Jackson to pound out 163 yards on the ground. They are giving up an average of 5.7 yards a carry.

While the Giants may miss Derrick Ward, it’s hard to imagine Brandon Jacobs and Ahmad Bradshaw not being effective against Tampa Bay’s defense.

Advantage: New York

 

Tampa Bay Buccaneers Passing Attack vs. New York Giants Pass Defense

Yet another surprising statistic regarding the New York Giants is their lack of sacks through the first two games. They have three—the same amount as the pass rushed starved Bucs.

Meanwhile, despite losing starting center Jeff Faine to a triceps injury in the season opener, the Bucs have only allowed Byron Leftwich to be sacked twice this season.

While sacks haven’t been abundant, hits on Leftwich certainly have. Part of that is due to his style of holding on to the football until the last available second. Sometimes that gets him in trouble—as it did against the Bills last week when he held the ball too long, overthrew running back Cadillac Williams in the flat, and it was intercepted for a touchdown the other way.

The Bills also blitzed the statuesque Leftwich unmercifully. While the Giants like to apply pressure with their front four, it wouldn’t surprise me to see defensive coordinator Bill Sheridan add a few wrinkles for the fifth-ranked pass defense in the NFL.

The Bucs are ranked sixth in the NFL in the passing game, despite missing the services of their top wideout Antonio Bryant (knee).

If the line can give Leftwich time and he avoids the turnover, the Bucs may be able to sustain some drives.

Advantage: New York

 

Tampa Bay Buccaneers Rushing Attack vs. New York Giants Run Defense

Typically stout against the run, the Giants have been just as bad as the Buccaneers in defending the ground game this season. They’re tied with Tampa Bay for 27th against the run.

That bodes well for the Buccaneers 14th-ranked running attack, which had to be shelved last week when the Buccaneers quickly fell behind 17 points.

This can be an advantage for the Buccaneers if the offense can avoid turnovers and the defense can keep them within a touchdown.

Cadillac Williams and former Giant Derrick Ward are really the strengths of the Buccaneer running game. Earnest Graham has yet to really have an opportunity but has shown in the past he can be capable.

Jeff Faine’s absence is probably felt the most here as his replacement, Sean Mahan, isn’t as strong at the point of attack.

Advantage: Tampa Bay

 

New York Giants Special Teams vs. Tampa Bay Buccaneers Special Teams

Lawrence Tynes is a solid kicker while the ageless Jeff Feagles continues to punt well for the Giants. Sinorice Moss has shown some flash ability as a kick returner.

Tampa Bay’s Mike Nugent has yet to make a field goal in 2009 but Dirk Johnson has been a pleasant surprise, averaging 42.1 yards a punt and pinning five inside the 20.

Clifton Smith is averaging 26.5 yards a return but has yet to make a major impact in the return game this season.

Both coverage units are solid.

Advantage: Push

 

New York Giants coaching vs. Tampa Bay Buccaneers coaching

Giants coach Tom Coughlin is in his 14th season as a head coach. Coughlin is 210-117 (89-49 as coach in New York), has six division championships, and a Super Bowl victory on his resume.

Raheem Morris is coaching his third game as an NFL head coach. He is 0-2.

Advantage: New York

 

Intangibles

The heat and humidity in Tampa Bay may become a factor if the game is close in the fourth quarter. The temperature is expected to be in the high 80s during game time.

The Giants are also coming off an emotional Monday night battle with rival Dallas and are in the midst of a three game road trip—a rarity in the NFL.

The Bucs continue to struggle with inexperience and confusion on defense. Several players have spoken out this week about playing soft.

Advantage: Push

 

Prediction: For the past few weeks this is where I wax poetically about how the Bucs are going to do the things necessary to win this game. Are there avenues that could lead to victory for the Bucs in this game? Definitely. If they can control the Giants early and get a lead, be able to sustain their running game then there’s a definite chance. Turnovers would be helpful, too.

However, seeing this team struggle to figure itself out and considering the Giants may be the best team in the NFC, it’s hard to imagine the Bucs being able to stay in this one for long.

It may be a little closer than most pundits expect, but in the end the Giants will walk away with a convincing victory.

Score: NY Giants 23, Tampa Bay 10

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Houston Texans Sign Ex-Chief Bernard Pollard

Look out, Peyton Manning!

Bernard Pollard is coming to a division near you.

According to the Houston Chronicle, the Houston Texans have signed the ex-Kansas City Chiefs safety.

Yes, the same Bernard Pollard infamous for ending Tom Brady’s 2008 season with an ACL-tearing hit in the first game of the year.

The signing of Pollard fills the roster spot left open by left guard Chester Pitts, who is out for the season following microfracture surgery.

It is unclear what Pollard’s main role will be with the Texans, although he’s likely to see time playing on special teams.

The 24-year-old former second round pick from Purdue had 98 tackles with one interception last season for Kansas City.

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Flozell Adams Fined, But Was It Enough?

Dallas Cowboys tackle Flozell Adams was fined for the second week in a row after tripping New York “Football” Giants Justin Tuck and Osi Umenyiora during Sunday’s loss in Dallas.

Adams was fined $12,500 for both incidents, which I find a little soft.

He was fined $5,000 for unnecessary roughness in Tampa during Week One. And then Adams trips two Giants defenders the next week, which led to Tuck’s shoulder injury—and don’t kid yourself Cowboys fans, that also led to those gaping holes Marion Barber ran through.

I’m more forgiving when a rule is broken because of a mistake. But after watching the replays, both trips seemed deliberate.

To me, this screams for a higher fine. In a league that prides itself on protecting its athletes, the NFL needs to send a bigger message than a tiny fine like this one for a deliberate act.

For a guy that constantly finds himself on the commissioner’s list, Adams seems to get off pretty light each time. Until the NFL takes a more severe stance, the infractions will probably continue.

Tuck and Adams have spouted a few words at each other sync. Tuck called the trip “bush league,” to which Adams replied, “Tell him to stay up, it ain’t my fault.” 

I might be in the minority here, but I feel a deliberate trip on a rushing lineman or linebacker is just as dangerous as a hit on an unsuspecting receiver or quarterback.

There isn’t much give when a man of Tuck’s size crashes into the ground because of a cheap act.

With the fine and the running of the mouths, the Dec. 6 rematch should be fun to watch.

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Ravens vs. Browns Preview: Happy Learned How To Putt

When previewing the Cleveland Browns games in the past, I have made a habit out of waiting until the end of the article to give my prediction. This week, I think I will just dispense with the formalities and get right to it. The Browns are going to lose, and lose big.

 

My Prediction: Baltimore Ravens 31, Cleveland Browns 13

 

I don’t think I am going out on a limb here, but let’s take a trip down the Baltimore Ravens roster for the reasons why anyway.

 

The Ravens defense has the well-deserved reputation as one of the league’s stingiest, but the much-improved offense is what is sending out chills among the NFL’s elite. There was once a time when the Ravens defense would play its heart out and the offense would let them down. That time is no more.

 

As the line in one of my favorite movies (“Happy Gilmore”) goes, “Uh-oh, Happy learned how to putt.”

 

It all starts with second-year quarterback Joe Flacco. The youngster is quietly developing into one of the league’s better signal-callers. While Baltimore handled him with kid gloves in 2008, they have taken the training wheels off and let him roll so far this season.

 

After a tremendous preseason, Flacco has followed that up with two solid starts. Flacco has five TD passes and has thrown for almost 500 yards in leading the Ravens to a total of 69 points. That is getting the job done.

 

What is most amazing about what Flacco is doing is that he is doing it without the help of a big-time receiver. The addition of Kelly Washington to “Old Reliable” Derrick Mason and Mark Clayton has helped. But none of them strikes fear in opposing defenses. Washington’s size and speed do give the Ravens the hint of a deep-threat.

 

A healthy Todd Heap at tight end adds another weapon to the offense. He has two touchdown grabs thus far, and it appears that Flacco will look to him near the goal line.

 

Second-year running back Ray Rice and veteran Willis McGahee have formed a solid one-two punch in the backfield. Both will benefit from the sharing of duties—McGahee because of his injury history, and Rice because of his lack of size.

 

The Ravens coaching staff seems to have just the right recipe when handling the backfield. McGahee has 123 yards rushing on 4.9 yards per carry with three touchdowns. He also has six receptions and a touchdown in the first two games. He’s not strictly the “goal line back.”

 

Meanwhile, Rice has become the starter and has garnered pretty impressive stats in a limited role himself (144 yards, 5.3 yards per carry, seven receptions, 8.3 yards per catch). The Ravens will most definitely use him in the passing game to create a matchup problem with a linebacker.

 

Le’Ron McLain has been moved from halfback to fullback and is a load when carrying the ball in short yardage situations.

 

The offensive line has improved immensely over the past two years. Matt Birk was brought over from the Vikings to provide some stability to the center position. He may no longer be the player he was when he earned his sixth Pro Bowl in 2007, but he is intelligent (Economics Degree from Harvard) and plays with an edge.

 

Left tackle Jared Gaither is a mountain. Standing at 6’9” and weighing in at 340 pounds, he is developing into a first-class, blind-side tackle in his third year.

 

Former first round pick Ben Grubbs mans the left guard position. Also in his third year, Grubbs is on his way to developing a Pro Bowl reputation.

 

The right side of the offensive line is not quite as talented. Marshal Yanda and Michael Oher start at guard and tackle respectively. Both are young with room to grow, but neither consistently stands out.

 

Overall, the Ravens offense is finally giving the Baltimore faithful something to get excited about. For far too long, Baltimore fans have had to root for their defense to put some points on the board and hope their offense just didn’t make a mistake.

 

Thus far, the Ravens have really made teams pay in the red zone. They have scored seven touchdowns in eight trips inside the 20-yard line. After wins against San Diego and Kansas City, the Ravens lead the AFC in scoring and their offense is ranked fourth overall with 403 yards per game.

 

The Browns linebackers better come to play this week or it could get ugly in a hurry. Because the Ravens offense keeps you guessing and incorporates the backs and tight ends in the passing game, they have been especially adept at keeping the linebackers on their heels.

 

This is no longer a one-dimensional team and it certainly is not a one-dimensional offense. There is no one sure way to scheme against the Ravens.

 

The best advice is to let the cornerbacks play on an island and devote the rest of the team to stopping Baltimore’s ability to utilize McGahee and Rice in both the running and passing games. But even that, given Flacco’s recent play, is no guarantee for success.

 

Ironically, while the offense has soared, the defense has taken a small step backwards. While the yardage totals are still among the league’s best, they have surrendered 24 and 26 points in their two games. Those are not alarming numbers for most teams, but it has not been the dominance we have come to expect out of Ray Lewis and his cohorts.

 

Lewis, who has somehow found the fountain of youth, is still playing at a high level. His fourth quarter, bone-crushing stop on fourth down against the Chargers perhaps saved the game last week. After 18 tackles in two games, he is showing no signs of slowing down.

 

DE/OLB Terrell Suggs may be an even better linebacker than Lewis at this point in his career. He already has 54 sacks after only six full seasons. At 28-years old, he will be putting the fear of God in quarterbacks for years to come.

 

He came into the league as strictly a pass-rusher, but is developing the ability to stop the run and play in coverage as well. Suggs is what the Cleveland Browns have hoped Camerion Wimbley would become when they drafted him in the first round in 2006.

 

Except for Lewis and Suggs, linebacker was a big area of concern heading into this season after losing Pro Bowl OLB Adalius Thomas and ILB Bart Scott (2006 Pro Bowl). Filling their spots are seventh-year veteran Jarret Johnson and Taveres Gooden. Special teams ace Brendon Ayanbadejo will also spot Gooden in certain packages.

 

The jury is still out on Gooden and/or Ayanbadejo as regulars at inside linebacker. Johnson is a 265-pound hybrid who had two sacks on opening day. He has had limited success in a limited role for his career.

 

Although all of these three are unproven, some believe that it was the system that made Scott and Thomas anyway, and not the other way around.

 

The front three of Trevor Pryce, Kelly Gregg, and Haloti Ngata is stout. Although Ngata and Gregg are primarily run-pluggers, they can collapse the pocket. Pryce is getting long in the tooth, but still can rush the passer. Ngata and Gregg are especially strong at holding the point of attack and keeping the linebackers free to pursue ball-carriers.

 

Add All World safety Ed Reed to this mix and you have the makings of one of the best defenses in the NFL. Reed is the most dominant ball-hawking safety in the league, if not ever. With 43 interceptions, an astounding 11 career touchdowns (special teams and interception/fumble returns), and four blocked punts in 108 games, he has a bust waiting for him in Canton, Ohio.

 

The opposite safety, Dawan Landry also is a big-play threat. Landry has had an injury-plagued last two seasons in the league. However, he looks to be finally over those health concerns and was voted to the all-rookie team in 2006.

 

The one area that the Ravens can be exploited is at the cornerback position. Dominique Foxworth was signed to a rather large off-season contract. It was a move that left some NFL scouts scratching their heads, as Foxworth has played four rather non-descript seasons with the Broncos and the Falcons.

 

Fabian Washington starts at the other cornerback position. Many feel he is more suited to be a nickel corner than a starter. He suffered a slight concussion in last week’s game against the Chargers. He should suit up and be ready to play this week against the Browns.

 

If Washington is not able to play, the Ravens will be extremely thin at the position, leaving only seven-year nickel-back Frank Walker, special teamer/nickel-back Chris Carr and rookie project Lardarius Webb at the position.

 

There is a severe lack of size at cornerback for the Ravens that can be taken advantage of if Brady Quinn can remain upright. The Ravens have given up four touchdown passes in two games and Chargers QB Phillip Rivers threw for a whopping 436 yards in game two.

 

In the Chargers’ game, 6’5” WR Vincent Jackson lit up the Ravens secondary for 141 yards, Darren Sproles caught a pass out of the backfield for an 81-yard score (124 receiving yards on the game), Malcom Floyd made a 40-yard catch, Antonio Gates caught five passes for 78 yards, and Chris Chambers made two 15-yard grabs (and dropped a beautiful pass from Rivers).

 

The Browns’ receivers do not possess the same size matchup problem that the Chargers’ receivers do. But the fact remains, the Ravens cornerbacks are less than stellar.

 

The only chance that the Browns have in this game is going to require offensive coordinator Brian Daboll and quarterback Brady Quinn to do something that they have not been comfortable with—throw the ball down the field.

 

With their size, Braylon Edwards, Mohammed Massaquoi, and Josh Cribbs can all out-muscle these miniature corners. But in order to keep the heat off Quinn, the running game is going to have to at least keep them honest.

 

Jamal Lewis has had some past success against his former team. The team also might want to get RB Jerome Harrison involved in the passing game judging by the performance of Darren Sproles against the Ravens.

 

This is Quinn’s week to prove he has the ability to make plays with his arm. If he cannot, this game will be blowout city. Nothing that Quinn has done thus far inspires much confidence that Quinn has that capability.

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Bengals: Keys to Beating Super Bowl Champs

The last five times the Bengals have met the Steelers, it hasn’t ended well. Ever since the 2005 playoffs, the Bengals have been in a losing slump against Pittsburgh.

 

After losing last week to the Chicago Bears, you know Pittsburgh is going to come into Cincinnati hungry and ready to play.

 

The Bengals have got to fix their mistakes from a close win last week and make sure they hold their home field better than last time they played at Paul Brown Stadium against the Broncos.

 

In order for the Bengals to beat the former Super Bowl Champs, they have to come in firing on all cylinders.

 

They can’t shoot themselves in the foot with penalties like last week, and quarterback Carson Palmer has to make sure he gets the ball to his receivers and not the Steelers’ defense.

 

This is certainly a winnable game for the Bengals because they have a lot of talent, but they have got to play 60 minutes of smash-mouth football instead of two or three quarters.

 

The Bengals’ running game looks like they’re picking it up from the 2005 season, and the they are undefeated when Cedric Benson rushes for over 100 yards. It is extremely important for Cincy to establish the run early and try to make it easier on Palmer in the passing game.

 

The biggest thing I haven’t seen the Bengals transition from preseason to regular season is the use of Chris Henry. He was the MVP of this offense in the preseason, but they haven’t used him like they should in the slot.

 

There has been talk about him being injured, but he has been coming on the field. I would really like to see the Bengals get him the ball, and in return I think it will open up other mismatches they can capitalize on.

 

Another player I’d like to see more of this game and more throughout the season is young Bernard Scott. It’s going to be a tough day for the offense going against one of the best defenses in the NFL, and they will need fresh legs.

 

Defensively, they have got to watch the Steelers’ running game. It hasn’t been there and the Steelers haven’t been as productive without it. They might look to try and force the run in this game. If Cincy is worried about the pass too much then they will get burned.

 

I look for Antwan Odom to be a huge factor in this game. He drew a lot of eyes last week by recording five sacks, and the Steelers want to make sure this doesn’t happen to them.

 

I wouldn’t be surprised if they try and double team him, and it would be a mistake not to watch rookie Michael Johnson or Robert Geathers on the other end.

 

The Packers exposed the alkali’s heal of the Bengals safeties in the fact that they’re great in run support, but they haven’t been great at shutting receivers down.

 

This is a concern when you have two Super Bowl MVPs lined up at the receiver position on the other side of the ball.

 

The best way to cover Santonio Holmes and Heinz Ward is to make sure you disrupt everything with the pass rush. Ben Roethlisberger is known for extending the play, and the defense simply can’t let him do it.

 

They have been great at getting pressure on Kyle Orton and Aaron Rodgers, but they need to take it a little bit further this week in order to mess up Big Ben’s timing.

 

Special teams are also always a factor in games like this, and if Quan Cosby can have a game like he did last week, then it will help the Bengals just that much more.

 

Roethlisberger is undefeated when he has returned to his home state of Ohio, and the Bengals have got to do what it takes to make it a not so happy homecoming.

 

 

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Make Subtle Changes Early in the Fantasy Season

Sometimes a minor tweak is all your fantasy roster needs to make a major difference.

Early in the fantasy football season, it is important not to hit the panic button after the first week. Or even the second week for that matter. An 0-2 hole, while not desirable, is not insurmountable.

While considering a trade here or there is not a bad thing early in the season, it does not always take a drastic overhaul to climb from the cellar.

The Hazean’s team in the blogger league faced an 0-2 hole heading into the second weekend of the fantasy football regular season. But one minor change to the starting lineup made a significant difference in the outcome of the contest.

Of course, it did not hurt to have Matt Schaub and his four touchdowns at the helm. But in this league, which rewards pass catchers favorably (0.5 points per reception), starting a pair of bruising, non-pass catching running backs on a weekly basis can lead to some unpredictable results.

So instead of starting both Michael Turner and Brandon Jacobs, I opted to start Turner and sit Jacobs. Turned out to be the right call between those two players. In Jacobs’ stead I started Fred Jackson, a much more friendly running back for the blogger league PPR format.

Ironically, Jackson did not make his biggest impact in the passing game.

He gashed the Tampa Bay defense to the tune of 163 yards rushing. He failed to reach the endzone and lost a fumble, but added the receiving element I initially planned for with six catches for 25 yards.

All in all, a subtle philosophical change made a major difference in the outcome of The Hazean’s week two matchup. It certainly did not hurt that Jackson played the Bucs and that he really is the only serviceable running back currently on the Bills roster.

Regardless, before making any drastic changes to your fantasy roster this week consider something subtle. Take risks within your roster and they could pay off in the form of that first victory of the season.

 

Thank you for reading the latest post from The Hazean. Please visit our website for more great fantasy content!

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49ers-Vikings: The Gunslinger vs. Samurai Mike

Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.

How would one describe San Francisco’s 2-0 start to the season, which has the 49ers atop the NFC West standings and has generated a sense of gaiety in a city that has longed to return to the glory days of old?

“Whatever you do,” says Mike Singletary, “just don’t call it ‘flaming.’

“Sure, we’re off to a hot start, but we’ve earned every bit of it. This isn’t your daddy’s 49ers team. We won’t beat you with Hall-of-Fame quarterbacks and receivers, nor will we stop you with a hard-hitting safety and his nine-and-a-half fingers. Hey, what’s the difference between Ronnie Lott and a phone number? A phone number has ten digits.

“All joking aside…in a moment. What do you call a steamy erotic drama starring Ronnie Lott and Kim Basinger? Nine-and-a-half Digits. Okay, I guess you guys didn’t know that Samurai Mike had a sense of humor.

“Of course I do! I rapped on ‘The Super Bowl Shuffle.’ What’s funnier than that? There may not be a West Coast Offense here, but there is a West Coast rapper in the house.”

Like the 49ers, the Vikings are 2-0, with two road wins, and flawless play from Brett Favre, who set an NFL record with his 271st consecutive start. That broke the record of Minnesota defensive end Jim Marshall, who set the mark from 1961 to 1979.

“I’m honored to pass the great Jim Marshall,” says Favre. “It’s truly amazing to be able to start that many consecutive games as a defensive end. It’s even more amazing that he did so without retiring once.

“The last thing I want to do is overlook the 49ers with the Packers coming here on October 5th. But it’s hard not to. I’ve had that date circled on my calendar since the schedule was released. But you know me. Between all the retirements and all the comebacks, I’ve got a lot of dates circled on my calendar.”

Does the winner of this contest officially claim the “for real” tag, signifying it as a legitimate NFC contender?

You bet.

And the NFC rushing lead will likely be decided, with Adrian Peterson looking to extend his 35-yard lead on Frank Gore.

Peterson wins the battle, rushing for a hard-fought 110 yards and a score, and the Vikings win the battle, 22-19.

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Why I Hate The Pittsburgh Steelers

Over the last year or so, I have really developed an interest in the whole sports writing/blogging thing. I have tried to express my opinions in a professional manner in an attempt to build journalistic integrity. However, for this post, forget all that stuff.

Nobody is forcing you to read this. Consider yourself warned.

I don’t like the Cleveland Browns, but at least I can be cordial if I see someone in a Brady Quinn jersey. We can exchange friendly barbs while maintaining our civility. I don’t know, maybe I feel sorry for a grown man that barks like a dog when his team scores a touchdown.

I hate the pittsburgh steelers.  I can’t even bring myself to capitalize the name.  Why, you ask? Here are a few reasons…

 

History 

Do you realize that the steelers did not win a playoff game until 1972? That is kind of ironic, considering they were founded in 1933. The irony comes in the fact that they began winning when the “juice” started flowing.  

If you don’t think the steelers were using steroids, take that stupid yellow towel and wipe the crap out of your eyes. The number of ex-steelers to die in the last 10 years is remarkable. Many of those have been players from the 1970s with heart problems. Coincidence?  I think not.

 

The Terrible Towel 

Speaking of that stupid yellow towel, is that the best you fools could come up with? Seriously? If you are a man with a job and family who somehow convinced a blind woman to marry you, why do you spend your Sunday waving a snot rag over your head?

A lady (sort of) that sits near me at work has one of those rags hanging in her cube. When I hit the lottery and tell them all to “take this job and shove it,” I swear I am going to blow my nose in that stupid thing on way out the door.

 

The Players 

Ben Worthlessbooger is the most overrated player in the league. He is ugly and I hate him. I thought his looks would improve after smashing his face in the motorcycle accident. Nope.  

I know he has denied the allegations of rape, but I seriously question the thought of any semi-intelligent woman with a decent set of spectacles would want to do the horizontal mambo with him.

Everyone knows that Troy Polamalu looks like Michael Jackson. You know, like a woman. After seeing the stupid shampoo commercial, I now know that he sounds like MJ too. You know, like a woman. I hate him.

I hate Hines Ward. He cries about everything. He is not a good receiver. He is an idiot. I hate him. I would like nothing better than to see Rey Maualuga knock that disgusting smile from his face.  

I don’t want to see anyone get hurt, but I wouldn’t lose any sleep if he got his ugly face rearranged on Sunday.

 

The Hit 

I am not talking about a clean, hard hit on the field.  I am talking about the mafia-style hit that allowed these jerks to beat the Bengals in 2005.  When Kimo Von Imafatpieceofcrap rolled into Carson Palmer’s knee, my hatred of this disgusting franchise grew to a new level.

 

The Fans 

Like I said before, most NFL fans can poke fun at each other at a sports bar and still have a good time. If these idiots are able to actually spit out a coherent thought, it most likely has something to do with the “one for the thumb” phrase they use every five seconds while waving that ridiculous yellow rag.

After they put down there thumb and use their sleeve to wipe the hot sauce off of their face, the corresponding index finger is usually inserted into their nose. They don’t wash their hands after they pee either.

They are the most vile people on the face of the earth. I hate them.

Besides, they don’t even have any cheerleaders. Any woman that would shake her tookus for that team could probably start on the offensive line.

I hate them.

 

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Clinton Portis Pours Gasoline on Redskins’ Hot Seat

Bottom line: You know that an owner is far too involved in the affairs of a football team when the team’s best player tells the truth on fan perspective. So here we go with Clinton Portis, and the beginning of the end for the Washington franchise as we know it.

“I mean, performance, as a team,” Portis said. “We’re getting booed coming off the field. So I think everybody in this organization on the hot seat. You know, I think you look at the owner, he on the verge of losing fans. You know, how long before people just give up and stop coming? You look at the players, and people want you out of here. You look at the coach, people want you out of here. So who’s not on the hot seat? Until we come out and play to our potential, I think everybody on the hot seat.”

Translation: The coach can’t call plays. The players can’t execute the plays that he does call. And the owner won’t get out of his own way.

The best part about this is that the fans may actually be waking up to the startling truth. This is beyond being a bad football team. This is a bad organization with a strange mix of arrogance and timidity at the executive levels.

A look around Washington football message boards doesn’t reveal a disenchantment with players, or even the coaches. It’s beginning at the top with Daniel Snyder and his meddling.

Which brings me back to the same point when I always use this space to discuss this team: Why pay for it? Why support the madness? It makes good business sense for Snyder to sell the annual dream and build it up for next year’s hope.

But for coaches who have to make players grow within an ill-fitting system, for players who have to execute under an inexperienced coaching staff, and for both entities to shoulder the burden of an overbearing, egotistical owner, it doesn’t ring the bell of an accommodating work environment.

And the sad part? The coaches and players aren’t that far off from making something good happen.

It’s one thing for me as a blogger to hate the team nickname, to despise the ownership group, and to mock the fans who blindly support it all. But I feel for the millions of fans out there who are genuinely tired of supporting a poorly run business.

Football shouldn’t be an agonizing exercise in faith and dedication. It should be a community place for you to celebrate competition and spirit for the city of Washington.

Snyder has taken so much of that away, just to earn that extra dollar.

So Clinton Portis is right—Daniel Snyder is on the verge of losing fans. And it couldn’t happen fast enough to a more worthy, greedy individual.

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