NFL Marketing: Please STOP Showing Animal Cruelty Ads During Games

Okay, let’s get this out of the way. Yes, Michael Vick participated in the murdering of dogs and is now reinstated. And the league does have to do some public relations for this sensitive subject. 

And yes, I realize that from a marketing standpoint, a company must advertise its product during a program that will have a significant amount of viewers to at least be informed of it. 

And of course, saving animals is definitely an important issue.

But when we watch football, we want to forget about all the horrible things in the world.

It’s not just the issue of animal cruelty; it’s the way it is presented. Right as we begin seeing animals with only one eye open we hear the most depressing music from Sarah McLachlan as more and more abused animals are showcased.

The only bigger guilt trip they can give us is actually watching an animal get beaten.

Now there are children watching these games, and of course, children will be the ones most affected seeing anything with an animal. Is the object of it to make the children cry enough that it forces their parents to make a donation?

Again, my problem is not the cause, but the ad itself. It’s one thing to spread your message; it’s another to beat it into the ground. 

The ad is so long you have to wonder if during a TV timeout, if the referees on the field have to tell the players to wait a little longer just so the commercial can finish. Now when people watch games, in addition to beer and food, they’ll have to bring tissues. 

I know some programs have ratings of TV-PG, TV-14, etc., but with this ad it seems that even commercials should now have ratings or at least a warning that we’re going to be subjected to it.

The ASPCA is a good cause and this is an important issue. But there are better ways of getting your message across. You shouldn’t have to resort to shock value to make awareness, especially when advertising during a sporting event.

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Dallas Cowboys Open New Stadium the Same Way They Closed the Old One

On Saturday, December 20, the Dallas Cowboys took to the field for the last time at their home of Texas Stadium to play the Baltimore Ravens.  At the beginning of the season, it seemed the football gods smiled down on the Cowboys by scheduling the Baltimore Ravens, a team with a first year head coach and quarterback as the last opponent they would play in the stadium.

Coming in with a record of 9-5, America’s team was still in prime position to earn a wildcard spot.  There were several Cowboy hall of famers in attendance to close it out.  Jerry Jones might have wanted to dust off their old jerseys and put them.  They could not stop the running game and Tony Romo was unable to lead his team back from behind.

Well, the Cowboys opened up their brand new multi-BILLION dollar stadium this past Sunday with a record crowd of over 105,000 people.

Jones looked very happy with himself, shaking hands with several people in his private box during various stages of the game basically just because he could.  He also invited John Madden and even former president George W. Bush to commemorate the opening.

A lot had been made about the stadium’s huge jumbo screen that had to make you wonder why anyone in attendance would watch the action on the field.  Well, no kicks hit the tron, but with Jeff Feagles directional kicking, you have to wonder if perhaps Jones had that in mind constructing the stadium to combat him.  It didn’t work.

Their opponent was the New York Giants, a team that Romo probably still has bruises from (physically and psychologically) their playoff meeting in Dallas in 2007.  A bit of irony, it was the Dallas Cowboys that played the New York Giants in THEIR brand new stadium for the first time back in 1976.  Once again, it would be the road team that spoiled the homecoming. 

But as opposed to the way they closed out their old stadium, it definitely wasn’t the opponents’  running game that did the Cowboys in.  It was their own quarterback and captain, Tony Romo.  His only bright spot was RUNNING in a touchdown.  Through the air, he threw three picks that all led to Giants touchdowns.

As the game went on, Jones’s box demeanor changed from exuberant to seemingly scared.  A few points the camera even caught him picking his nose.  Romo himself put on the pouting sad face with the backwards cap that we’ve all seen many times before.

Now everyone is going to get on Romo’s case about this, including me as you’ve already noticed.  Obviously, that means nothing, but when former Cowboy players are critical, specifically Troy Aikman, himself a former quarterback of the Cowboys, Romo definitely earns my Least Valuable Player of the Week award, otherwise known as the Nappy-Headed-Ho of the Week award. 

A poll conducted on ESPN asked if the Cowboys would ever win a Super Bowl with Romo under center.  EVEN THE STATE OF TEXAS voted no.  It’s the first time I’ve ever seen a map America shaded all one color.  Jones got rid of Terrell Owens and kept Jason Garrett to help out Romo.  If only he could now acquire of leadership demeanor to give to his quarterback.

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Fumbles and Interceptions: Which One Is Jake Delhomme Better At?

Hoping to justify his new contract and shake off his horrible performance of six turnovers in last season’s playoff game, Carolina quarterback Jake Delhomme played like we were watching a rerun of last January’s game.

Not only did he throw interceptions, he threw the ball right to the Philadelphia defense. Not only did he fumble, but the ball seemingly jumped behind him right to the goal line, but not quite touching the end zone.

After leading his team on an opening drive, clock consuming touchdown, Delhomme was embarrassed more than Jeff Van Gundy at Michael Jordan’s Hall-of-Fame induction.

It wasn’t just making mistakes; it was the way he made them. It seemed as if he transcended the act of the turnover, and turned it into an art form.

Delhomme finished the game with four interceptions and a lost fumble, before being taken out of the game. He only threw for 73 yards.

Now, Carolina must make some tough decisions. 

It seems as though Delhomme’s best days are behind him, but with the money they just spent on him, either way they seem to lose.

No one will trade with them and inherit his contract. If they cut him, they don’t get a single thing in return. And if they keep playing him, the losses will mount and the fan base will grow weary.

Obviously, the Player of the Week must be Drew Brees. And obviously, the Flop of the Week must be Jake Delhomme. 

But instead of giving out a Least Valuable Player of the Week award, I’d like to go the Don Imus route, and name Jake Delhomme my Nappy-Headed-Ho of the Week.

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Josh McDaniels 1 Jay Cutler 0

Yes, it was just one game. And yes, Josh McDaniels’ team played the Cincinnati Bungels while Jay Cutler played the much-improved Green Bay Packers. But, the standings in the newspapers will still have one win next to the Denver Broncos and one loss next to the Chicago Bears.

Much hype and publicity went into Jay Cutler’s first game as a Bear (mostly generated by him). The media dubbed him as the greatest quarterback to wear a Bears uniform since Jim McMahon, and already people are bringing up “first time” stats, as in this is the first time a Bears quarterback made the Pro Bowl since (blank) and the first time a Bears quarterback threw for 300 yards since (blank).

Instead, Jay Cutler showed not only his ineffectiveness by throwing four interceptions, but also his immaturity whenever a defender would merely touch him he would shove him back.

People seem to forget that although Cutler has put up good numbers, he has never led his team to a winning record, let alone a playoff appearance. So when push comes to shove, and it will with him literally, he might put up the points, but won’t be able to lead the final drive.

It got to the point where Al Michaels reported that a Bears fan in attendance wearing a Jay Cutler jersey had turned the shirt backwards.

Now everybody has a bad game every once in awhile. But some of them have the personality to make you forget about them and wait to see what they can do next week. Cutler definitely does not have one of those.

Meanwhile, Kyle Orton, supposedly the Achilles heel to the team, but one who has actually led a team to the playoffs, led his team on a game winning last minute drive.

Now maybe Orton will be someone who holds the team back…but not yesterday.

And yes, Cutler would’ve beaten the Bungels had he been in a Denver uniform…but he wasn’t.

On the Bears first possession, it seemed Cutler might be colorblind since it seemed he was just throwing the ball right to the Packers defense. The first two were dropped, but not the third pass thrown in a row in the direction of a Green Bay player.

The Bears defense kept them in the game and the team found itself up by two points (thanks to a safety on a sack) in the final minutes. But after an Aaron Rodgers touchdown pass to put them ahead, it was down to Jay Cutler to show just how great he was and how wrong Josh McDaniels was…unfortunately the wrong thing about hype is you start mentioning it before the person actually accomplishes it.

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Brett Favre: The Best Thing that Could Happen for Tarvaris Jackson?

Michael Vick Leads Lions to First Super Bowl Victory (Satire)

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Michael Vick, who at this time last year was trying to avoid dropping the soap, has now led the Motor City to its first NFL championship in over 50 years.  Vick, the game’s MVP, threw the game-winning touchdown pass to receiver Plaxico Burress with only 17 seconds left in the game to defeat the AFC Champion Denver Broncos.

The Lions achieved their first playoff victories since 1991 first by defeating San Francisco, causing their coach Mike Singletary to moon the entire team on the sideline. 

Then, in the NFC championship game, they defeated division rival Minnesota and Comeback Player of the Year, Tarvaris Jackson.  Even though Jackson led his team to victory this season, his three interceptions in the game prompted Vikings ownership to make their annual phone call to Brett Favre to come out of retirement.  Favre answered that he was staying retired but would continue to throw as well as put on pads and a helmet and even simulate throwing interceptions and falling on the ground.

The Broncos, with league MVP Kyle Orton, now have become the first team in the NFL to lose five Super Bowls, but that does not take away all they accomplished this season.  Criticized for his handling of former quarterback Jay Cutler, coach of the year Josh McDaniels led his team to a surprising conference title.

In other news, the annulment of Gisele Bundchen and Tom Brady’s marriage was finalized the Friday before the Super Bowl.  Bundchen cited irreconcilable differences as the reason for the split, and specified it was due to Brady wearing all of her makeup, cosmetics, gels, and hogging the mirror.

After another disappointing season, Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo has now asked owner Jerry Jones to bring back Terrell Owens now that his one year contract with the Bills is up.  Romo also demanded that in order to help with his development that Jones fire the water boy, tee boy, hot dog vendor, and finally, re-signed placekicker Mike Vanderjagt, who called Romo out on the show “Rome Is Burning” by questioning his lack of leadership.

Finally, it was confirmed this week by Commissioner Roger Goodell that in addition to the annual European regular season game, more would be played at other foreign places including Sydney, Australia; Rio de Janeiro, Brazil; Bangkok, Thailand; and finally the Congo. 

Meanwhile, Los Angeles has been granted the right to host a Pop-Warner scrimmage of the first place winners of the Punt, Pass, and Kick Competition.  Goodell also announced that since more homes get transmission of the Versus Channel and Soap Opera Network than NFL Network, that the weekly Thursday games will now be Pay-Per-View.

Will Steve McNair’s Personal Life Determine His Place in History?

In a time span where we lost an actor (Karl Malden), an actress (Farrah Fawcett) and a musician (Michael Jackson), it seemed almost inevitable we’d lose an athlete.

But I doubt any of us could have predicted that athlete would be Steve McNair. When I heard how he had died, I definitely had to pinch myself.

I mean, this wasn’t Pac Man Jones, this was Steve McNair. A league MVP, a team leader, and a man who played through the pain.

It just didn’t seem right.

Here was a player who was never suspended, never arrested, and never went to rehab. He wasn’t someone that would have brought this action on himself.

Before there was Michael Vick or even Donovan McNabb, there was Air McNair. Drafted by the then Houston Oilers in 1995, McNair seemed to be the heir apparent to the most mobile quarterback in league history, Randall Cunningham. And unlike Vick or Cunningham, his main objective was passing with running only as a last resort.

He retired as a player with great respect for not only his acts on the field, but for his charitable causes off of it. But with recent news of his off the field retired life, even people who aren’t football fans have taken notice to him.

A married professional athlete with children who is having an affair is one thing, but to be murdered by that person having the affair with pretty much guarantees an episode of “Law and Order” based on this situation.

So how will McNair be remembered now? 

Certainly sports fans are able to look at the bright side of every athlete. Lawrence Taylor is still considered one of, if not, the greatest linebacker in NFL history, despite his rampant drug use and associations with pimps and prostitutes. 

Tom Brady is still looked at as the golden boy of the league even after running out on his pregnant girlfriend.

It seems the only ones whose legacies can be tainted are ones who actually did some hard time. 

People like O.J. Simpson, Donte Stallworth, and Michael Vick have had their images tainted for actual crimes. But I doubt any of us will remember Warren Moon for beating his wife. Or Chuck Noll for attacking Chuck Bednarik during his playing days. 

And what about Paul Hornung and Alex Karras’ suspensions for gambling?

So compared to some others, McNair really seems like a choir boy. His only problem seems to be getting caught red handed in death. Then again, if the NFL took into account off the field behavior, we might not even have a hall of fame.

Can The New York Giants Win With Two Rookie Wide Receivers?

Let’s face it. The New York Giants collapsed at the end of last season not just because they did not have Plaxico Burress, but the fact that they thought they already had enough tools to replace him. 

But, as was proven, that position was their Achilles heel to a repeat season. 

Amani Toomer was aging and is now a free agent. Domenik Hixon, although showing flashes during the season, is still just a third down receiver at best. And Steve Smith, his most memorable pass was the other helmet catch of Super Bowl 42 in which the ball went off his helmet and was intercepted.

Yet, as the Giants beefed up even more on defense through free agency, they ignored the one spot they desperately needed. Sure, there were trade talks about getting such high profile wide outs as Cleveland’s Braylon Edwards or disgruntled Arizona star Anquan Boldin. But these talks proved just to be talk. 

And when Commissioner Roger Goodell walked to the podium to announce the Giants draft choice, every Giants fan sat with anticipation of news that they had traded the pick for either one of those players. 

Heck, the Cleveland Browns were trading away their entire draft, why not getting one or two back? And then we heard Goodell say the name Hakeem Nicks. HAKEEM NICKS?!

Before we could even ask ourselves just who he was, we had to accept the shock that Giants did not made the trade for a veteran receiver. So as we all Googled Hakeem Nicks and tried to find out more about him, the Giants selected Ramses Barden, another mystery receiver that made Nicks look like a household name. 

Now, it’s good that they at least recognized that they needed help at the receiver position, but does this mean they’re going to start two rookies?

With their other options on the team limited at best, that seems to be the only choice.  As June 1 (the day when many teams release veterans) came and went, no additional news came out of Giants camp. 

So what exactly is Tom Coughlin thinking? Once he figures it out, hopefully he’ll let us know.

Is Josh McDaniels in Danger of Being Fired Before Coaching a Game?

Following the 1999 season, Bill Belichick was set to be introduced as the new coach of the New York Jets at a press conference. Instead, he resigned from the position. However, he did it for another head coaching position.

In the case of new Broncos coach Josh McDaniels, that really doesn’t apply. This is his first head coaching gig, and the way things are going, he may not even be able to get a job as a waterboy. 

The new coach has already caused a stir by flirting with the idea of trading Jay Cutler for Matt Cassel. Cassel instead went to Kansas City, while Cutler found out, pouted, and demanded a trade. And who did they get to replace him…Kyle Orton, the guy who had trouble beating out Rex Grossman in Chicago.

As bad as that was, it might be getting even worse now with the news that receiver Brandon Marshall also wants out of Mile High. This might be the worst situation a first-year head coach has ever faced. Remember, the Broncos did finish with an 8-8 record last season, so there isn’t too much room for error. 

The Broncos had been a model of consistency under former coach Mike Shanahan. Even when they missed the playoffs, they were at least close, for the most part.

Rebuilding in Denver is as foreign an occurrence as going to the beach on Christmas Day. So, the only way McDaniels can really redeem himself would be to improve the team, and that would mean at least a winning season.

You have to wonder, what else can go wrong here? Or rather, can anything go right for this team, and more specifically their new coach, who is already under scrutiny without having coached a single game? 

Fans and media have been pointing the finger at him for the team’s faults. Of course, if the team improves, and Cutler continues to be a bust, it’ll all be a different story. But right now, Josh McDaniels seems like a coach already on the hot seat.

Perhaps the Broncos will pull a Lakers move and re-hire Mike Shanahan. As of right now, that not only seems like a strong possibility, but maybe the only way to regain the prestige of this franchise.

Giants-Eagles: A Rivalry Heightened This Past Decade

For two teams who have been in existence since the 1930s, share a parkway, and play each other twice every year, it’s hard to imagine any way that a rivalry could grow.  But that’s just what’s happened in the first decade of the new millennium.

Sure, there have been memorable games. Whenever the teams play in Giants Stadium, the broadcast flashes back to the miracle at the Meadowlands game in which the Giants were unable to sit on the ball for a victory and literally gave the game away.

There was the wild card game in 1981 in which the Giants upset Philadelphia, ending their bid to repeat as conference champions.

But as the ’90s rolled around, the intensity seemed to lose its luster.  The reason for that is simple.  In that decade, it was pretty much non-existent for the teams to be competing for any type of postseason success against each other.  Whenever one team was doing well the other was fighting just to avoid last place.

In fact, other than splitting during the Giants championship season of 1990, every season ended with one team sweeping the other.  The Eagles did it in ’91 and ’92, and the Giants returned the favor in ’93 and ’94.

The Eagles continued the two-year trend by sweeping in ’95 and ’96, while the Giants ended the decade by sweeping the last three years.

During the decade, the Giants made the playoffs in 1990, ’93, and ’97, while the Eagles qualified in 1990, ’92, ’95, and ’96. None of those seasons featured a postseason matchup or even especially memorable game. 

All that changed the first year of the third millennium. After sweeping the Eagles during the season, the Giants beat the Eagles in the playoffs on their way to the NFC Championship.

The very next year, the Eagles dethroned the Giants as division champs by knocking them out of the playoffs in Philly the next to last week of the season in which the Giants almost succeeded with a last second set of laterals that ultimately fell short.

Going into the last week of the 2002 season, the Eagles had already secured the division and a bye while the Giants needed a win to get a wild card spot. In an overtime thriller, the Giants won on a field goal to take the game 10-7.

In 2003, the Eagles dropped their first two games in their brand new stadium and many had written them off. Both teams entered the season at 2-3 and the Giants looked to have the game put away with a 10-7 lead as they punted the ball to Brian Westbrook, who turned the game around and the Eagles season with a touchdown return. 

The Eagles would go on to win their next nine games on their way to their third consecutive championship game appearance, while the Giants would stumble to a 4-12 last place finish.

After trading sweeps in ’04 and ’05, the Giants entered Lincoln Financial Field in the second week of the season and endured a first half clobbering by the score of 24-7.

In what changed the Giants season, Eli Manning led a comeback to tie the game and send it to overtime, where he would connect with Plaxico Burress on a game winning touchdown pass.

However, the Eagles would gain revenge in the playoffs of that year with a 23-20 wild card victory.

Both teams started 0-2 the next season, but gained significant wins in week three. The Giants mounted a second-half comeback in Washington, while the Eagles slaughtered the Lions 56-21.

The Giants’ defense had given up 97 points the first three weeks and was seen as a weakness. However, the defense solidified itself that night with a 16-3 victory in which they sacked Donovan McNabb a league-tying 12 times.

The next season though, the Eagles stole the show from the defending Super Bowl champions by becoming the first team to win twice in Giants Stadium in one season, the second of course being a playoff game in which the Giants didn’t even look like they woke up that morning.

So what kind of games will we witness this season?  Will it be one team dominating the other like in the ‘90s, or will be see some more classic finishes and season changing performances of this past decade?  One thing’s for sure.  Both teams’ fans will still hate each other no matter who wins by how many points how many times.

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