Browns 2009: Taking a Look Inside My Crystal Ball

While going through some boxes, I came across the family’s crystal ball. It’s an old heirloom and I thought I’d gaze into its depths to see what awaits the Cleveland Browns.

 

After polishing the ball up, the mists inside it cleared up, showing me the 2009 season!

 

I grabbed my trusty notebook and began transcribing what I saw:

 

Week One

After sending the fanbase into a frustrated frenzy over who is going to be the starter for 2009, including giving more reps to Derek Anderson than Brady Quinn in the final preseason game, Anderson is traded on Wednesday to the San Francisco 49ers for their 2010 second round draft pick and 10 lbs. of fish.

 

Admittedly the 10 lbs. of fish seems a bit strange, but it is not for me to question the revelations of the crystal ball.

 

Anyway, with the quarterback position decided, the Browns take the field against the Minnesota Vikings Sept. 13. In a close game, Quinn leads the Browns back from a 27-10 deficit at the beginning of the fourth quarter to win 31-27 with a touchdown to Syndric Steptoe with three seconds left.

 

Head Coach Eric Mangini is hailed as a hero for rallying the troops to a victory through his strange arm motions and frequent outbursts in a foreign language.

 

Week Two

The media and fanbase are energized by the miracle comeback. The “Mangenius” moniker comes back into use and starved Cleveland fans already are talking about the possibility of making the playoffs.

 

But Denver, who always has been there to crush the dreams of Browns fans, pounds an overconfident team into the ground. Browns lose 35-3.

 

Braylon Edwards is removed from the field during the second quarter after injuring his ego on a third and long with 2:15 left in the half and allowing an interception by a fan who won a contest to be a Broncos receiver for one quarter.  Edwards is listed as day-to-day.

 

Week Three

Mangini executes offensive coordinator Brian Daboll for the debacle in Denver, strangely enough by making him “walk the plank.”  No further details are offered.

 

Cleveland then faces their first divisional game with the Rat Birds from Baltimore. Mangini promises “a hard game,” and Cleveland fans remain unimpressed after last week’s beat down.

 

What follows is a vicious battle of attrition with half the Brown’s offensive line going off the field with injuries while Baltimore is down to their emergency quarterback after Joe Flacco has to leave the game with a strained pinky finger and backup quarterback Troy Smith spontaneously combusts when the Browns actually apply pressure for more than two straight plays.

 

In the end, the Browns pull out a narrow victory, 21-20, and limp home to heal.

 

Week Four

Mangini, under pressure to explain Smith’s on-field death amid rumors of “illegal use of voodoo magic,” refuses to answer questions and begins wearing gray hoodies.  Bill Belichek sues Mangini for trademark infringement.  The media labels the whole mess “Hoodie-gate.”

 

The following game versus the Bengals is forfeited by Cincinnati after it is determined Paul Brown stadium no longer can contain Chad Ochocinco’s ego.  The National Guard is called in to control the situation.

 

“A win’s a win,” comments Mangini after the game, now dressing in black robes and carrying a large staff to put an end to the whole “Hoodie-gate” controversy.

 

Week Five

Buffalo head coach Dick Jauron takes no chances versus the Browns and arranges for an early blizzard to blanket the area. Undaunted, the Browns arrange to have their practices that week take place in Alaska.

 

Jamal Lewis has a career game, racking up 300 yards, but the defense fails to show up for the game, and the Browns lose a high scoring affair, 56-42.

 

After the game, the NFL orders Mangini to restore normal weather patterns to the Buffalo area after the temperatures soared from 25 degrees at gametime to 78 by halftime.

 

Week Six

 

The first meeting with the hated Pittsburgh Steelers receives national headlines when Steelers Head Coach Mike Tomlin announces he’s just returned from the Underworld after tricking Charon and stealing his boat to cross the River Styx.

 

Tomlin refuses to explain what his heroic quest will mean for the game on Sunday, but many Steeler fans drink too much Iron City Beer and pass out in their friends’ basements. That day is soon known as “The Great Hangover.”

 

The game itself is a titanic clash of warriors, with Tomlin donning blood-red robes and flinging viles of water taken from the River Styx at opposing players in order to make them forget the gameplan.

 

Mangini counters by replacing his defense with zombies, who munch on the brains of the Steelers offensive line. A few stray into the stands to attack Steeler fans, but quickly give up once they realize Pittsburgh fans do not possess brains.

 

By the fourth quarter, Mangini has begun shooting fire from his staff at the Pittsburgh secondary while Steeler quarterback Ben Roethlisberger sprouts wings and flies 30 feet into the air to avoid the pass rush.

 

Mangini insists this is cheating, but the refs allow it after Josh Cribbs burrows beneath the field of play and scores the league’s first subterranean touchdown.

 

Tomlin attempts to stop Cleveland from kicking a game-winning field goal by “icing the kicker,” but the sheet of ice he conjures out of thin air misses its target and lands in the upper deck of Heinz field, injuring hundreds who are too drunk to notice until later.

 

In the end, Cleveland wins the game, 13-10, but are forced to put Quinn on the 30-day disabled list after it was revealed Troy Polamalu actually is a werewolf and infects Quinn during the third quarter.

 

The rest of the season is a mystery to me. The crystal ball would not read any further into the future, although it did hint the league would outlaw sorcery on the sidelines shortly before Thanksgiving after Belichek beats Miami with a team of four-armed players.

 

 

The Mysterious Mind Of Mangini

Head Coach Eric Mangini is a mercurial guy when it comes to his press conferences, but the Browns are completing their third straight week of minicamp, so why not see what we have learned.

 

But before we get to the lessons, let’s clean up some of the mess of the past week.

 

The player’s association is still barking about long practice days and last weekend’s marathon bus trip with the rookies to Hartford, CN, for a charity event.

 

I still don’t care.

 

Unless the league decides Mangini was a bad boy, in which case I’ll be extremely upset and wondering what Al Lerner saw in this guy. Actually, I think that right now, but I’m going to be somewhat nice until the season starts.

 

Also, Jamal Lewis didn’t participate in this week’s OTAs. All Mangini would say is that Lewis had his reasons and there was no bad blood.

 

Translation: Lewis still is healing from his last ankle surgery. As long as he is ready for the season, I could care less if he misses a minicamp. My hunch is that also is Mangini’s attitude toward Lewis.

 

Now that we’ve dealt with the distractions, let’s delve into the mystery that is Mangini’s brain.

 

 

Mangini wants his players to be smart

 

In all of his press conferences so far, Mangini has stressed he wants players to learn the system and be effective in it.

 

On linebacker Kamerion Wimbley, Mangini had this to say: “The key thing is to focus on the process. That’s what we are doing with Kamerion and with all of the guys, is to focus on the things that he can do better as a pass rusher.”

 

So fundamentals are being taught in Berea again, a welcome change from the sloppy teams tripping over their own feet of recent years.

 

Mangini talked further about Wimbley and how they are trying to make him a more versatile player by working him on both sides of the line.

 

“The more versatile he is, the more roles we can give him, the different matchups we can create,” he said.

 

“That is something that we worked hard on with Bryan Thomas who was another defensive end that made the transition and it’s important.”

 

 

Mangini doesn’t want you to know who his quarterback is going to be

 

The larger media outlets are focusing on Mangini’s statement that he might wait until late in the preseason before making a decision on the starting quarterback, noting the preseason games will help him evaluate the players better.

 

So you’ve got the Brady Quinn supporters going into epileptic fits thinking Derek Anderson will have a great preseason, only to fall flat on his face once the games start counting.

 

There’s merit to this line of thought as Anderson looked great early on in 2007 when there was relatively little pressure. Once the games really started “counting,” he tightened up, didn’t make adjustments, forced things and generally looked terrible.

 

However, Mangini made one more statement which makes me think he’s doing to the Vikings what he hates being the victim of—not knowing who his opponent’s starting quarterback is going to be.

 

“One of the problems defensively is not knowing who the starting quarterback is going to be,” he said. That is always a huge problem defensively. I hated when I didn’t know who their starting quarterback for the other team was. It’s a huge, huge headache.”

 

If you examine everything else Mangini said he likes in a player, I’ll once again say Quinn will be the starter opening day, but why give the Vikings the satisfaction? Let them have one more headache to deal with that week.

 

 

Mangini likes players who think on their feet

 

Mangini cited Eagles running back Brian Westbrook’s play versus Dallas last year when he stopped on the one-yard line instead of scoring. This allowed the Eagles to control the clock and win the game, rather than score and give Dallas two minutes to potentially come back and win the game.

 

“That was a game-winning play, not by virtue of points, by virtue of not scoring and then giving Philly the chance to eat up the clock,” he said, adding clips of plays from other sports also are shown, just to illustrate how certain choices made in a split second during a game can affect the outcome.

 

 

Conclusions

 

Through the draft and several minicamps, we have a coach who’s shown he wants smart players who can master his system and win games by playing solid fundamental football.

 

We also know he’s sneaky. No fan wants a quarterback controversy, but Mangini seems to relish the thought of opposing coaches lying awake at night wondering if they’re going to get Quinn’s cerebral style or Anderson’s aggressive “wing it and hope for the best” type of play that some coaches seem to love.

 

While I’ve been largely complimentary of Mangini so far, I do want to stress I’m not the secretary of the Eric Mangini Fan Club.

 

I’m cautiously optimistic as we sit here in June. Mangini won exactly nothing worth mentioning in New York, and his last season was a meltdown resulting in his dismissal.

 

It’s a new day and a new team in Cleveland, and Mangini has shown he is building this team from scratch.

 

I think it’s too early to really get into positional arguments and who is/is not going to get the job.

 

That’s what these camps are for, to determine a pecking order for the drama to play out in July and August.

 

Stuff I can’t help but comment on concerning Cleveland sports

 

 

LeBron James: The King is fined $25,000 for not speaking to the media after Game Six last week and not shaking hands with the Orlando Magic. 

 

I liked the fact James took the loss personally and wouldn’t congratulate the Magic.

 

That kind of attitude will win a championship next year. Sportsmanship after a loss is overrated.

 

However, you’re the first on the podium to talk to the media after a win, be a man and face the music when you lose.

 

 

Fausto Carmona: Carmona wasn’t just demoted to the minors on Friday, he was kicked all the way down to rookie ball in Goodyear, AZ.

 

I can’t fault this decision. Carmona hasn’t thrown well since 2007 and his last few starts were so bad as to defy reason.

 

This kind of move worked for Toronto when they optioned Roy Halladay down in 2001 and it also worked for Texasand Edinson Volquez in 2007.

 

The weekend is here, so enjoy it, even though there’s no football this Sunday.

Wild Week In Browns Town

What a week in Cleveland.

 

In the span of about 48 hours, the Indians lost two games to the Yankees, the Cavaliers remembered the city is cursed and promptly lost the Eastern Conference Finals, and Browns Head Coach Eric Mangini decided to put his rookies on a bus for 10 hours to Hartford, CT.

 

Depending on who you believe, this voluntary trip attended by every single rookie on the Browns roster was either one of the most successful team building exercises in recent memory, or a cruel hazing stunt pulled by someone who should know better.

 

To those who might have missed it, Mangini put every Browns rookie on the roster on a bus for 10 hours to his hometown in Connecticut to participate in a NFL sponsored charity event for children. After the all day event, the rookies then spent another 10 hours on the bus back to Cleveland.

This trip took place between minicamps, so the rookies really had no time off between important training activities that will determine their future with the team.

 

By the way, Mangini flew out to Hartford, though he did take the bus back with the players.

 

According to the Newark Star-Ledger, the NFL Player’s Association is looking into Mangini’s weekend PR stunt to determine if he broke some rules of the collective bargaining agreement.

 

The Browns have stated all participants did so of their own free will and have heard no official complaints, which contradicts other reports that the player’s affected have contacted their agents to look into the matter further.

 

I have my own way of looking at this. Mangini is the boss. Your boss tells you to do something, you do it. End of story. Athletes are spoiled little babies who make more in one week than most people make in a year.

 

Football is a year-round sport now, and the player’s salaries reflect that. They still have more off-time than most government workers, so asking them to sacrifice one weekend for a charity event hardly qualifies them as “abused.”

 

I can recall many occasions when the various bosses I worked for asked me to come in on a day off, work longer hours, and in one case, work 10 hours overtime with no extra pay because I was on salary and the overtime was “expected” out of me.

 

I didn’t have an agent to complain to, and my father would’ve just told me to shut up and do it had I thought to complain to him about it. So a pampered athlete who doesn’t worry about paying his bills next month really needs to just suck it up and do it.

 

“But not all of these rookies will make the team,” you cry.

 

Yes, that is true. But most of these guys will land on their feet somewhere in some league. For the few who don’t, there is a very good support network around these guys who make sure they all have a fair chance somewhere doing something.

 

So I don’t cry for rookies, and I don’t care if they hate their boss. I do care that these guys are prepared, though, and the fact Mangini sandwiched this road trip between minicamps annoys me more than anything else.

 

I want the best guys on this team come September, and I’d hate to see a good guy have a bad day and get cut because his body didn’t respond well to being cooped up in a bus for 20 hours.

 

Those are the kinds of guys who end up with the Steelers or Ravens and kick the taste out of our mouth just to make sure we don’t forget cutting them was a mistake.

 

In other news, Braylon Edwards once again showed his dedication to being the best wide receiver in the game by taking batting practice with the Cleveland Indians. Your eyes didn’t deceive you, I typed the “Cleveland Indians.”

 

I’m just grateful he didn’t take BP with the Yankees, something I’m waiting for LeBron James to do. Since James once said he had to “represent” for the Yankees during the 2007 ALDS, I’m waiting for him to do it again. After all, he can’t “represent” Cleveland in the NBA Finals.

 

But as for Edwards, I hope his time in the batting cages translates to catches on the field, because think of the possibilities if that’s the training exercise the NFL has been missing out on for the last 70 years.

 

Training camp is closer than you think, so get those bats out and get on the bus, we’ve got football to play—at least I hope it’s football we’re playing.

A Fireside Chat with Brady Quinn

Cleveland Browns Head Coach Eric Mangini takes the Bill Belichick approach to media/PR opportunities—he avoids them.

 

So, with that in mind, when I decided I wanted to interview potential starting quarterback Brady Quinn, I put on my “black ops” uniform only used for Jerry Bruckheimer movies, shimmied through the heating ducts and dropped in on Mr. Quinn while he was reviewing the new playbook.

 

 

Quinn: Where’d you come from?

 

Me: Doesn’t matter, Mangini sent me to test you about the upcoming season. Just answer the questions.

 

Quinn: Coach doesn’t like me talking to strangers, especially if they might be reporters.

 

Me: Don’t worry, this is part of the test. Now let’s get down to it, how do you feel about the upcoming quarterback competition going into training camp?

 

Quinn: Honestly, it doesn’t bother me. I’ve had to deal with adversity as a professional ever since I was drafted and, quite frankly, I was better than Anderson last year. I don’t see why anything would be different going into 2009.

 

Me: Good point. While it is a limited sample, you do have a slight edge in completion percentage as well as interceptions. You still are a relative unknown quantity. How do you prove to the new coaching staff you can live up to your potential?

 

Quinn: By going out and playing the best I can. I know my best is better than a lot of other quarterbacks in this league. If I didn’t think that I wouldn’t be here.

 

Me: How have the last two years changed you? You’re obviously the favorite to win the starting job with the hometown crowd, but you’ve had limited opportunities to showcase your skills. Articulate for me your approach to the game.

 

Quinn: I approach it like any other professional would. I pay attention during the meetings, I show up for every practice and I leave everything on the field.

 

Me: How do you respond to people who criticize your arm strength?  Admittedly Anderson can pretty much fling that ball into Lake Erie from Berea, but that doesn’t necessarily get you into the Hall of Fame.

 

Quinn: It’s unfair. I can get the ball downfield just as easily as he can. My strengths are in short, controlled routes, reading the defenses and reacting appropriately.  But if I need to throw a 40-50 yard pass, I can do that.

 

Me: What about your ability to read defenses and react in a way that will bring a positive outcome to each play.

 

Quinn: You can’t commit turnovers. Sometimes that means eating the sack, sometimes it means throwing the ball out of bounds. The key is to know what’s coming and be able to get rid of the ball before you run out of options.

 

Me: One hack on Anderson is that he forces the ball downfield sometimes. Your brief stint as starting quarterback showed good poise under pressure. To what do you attribute this “Grace under fire.”

 

Quinn: Preparation. You have to study the game film, know what the defense is throwing at you and keep your head when the linebackers are breathing down your neck. Of course, it helps to have an offensive line that’ll give you time to throw.

 

Me: That certainly doesn’t hurt. What do you think of the Brown’s offseason moves in the context of just offensive line help?  It doesn’t matter who is taking snaps if you’re getting your face planted in the turf three seconds later.

 

Quinn: Very true. Alex Mack obviously will bring a new dynamic to the line and has the potential to bring first-year impact on the field.  Joe Thomas is now an experienced veteran and the rest of the line is solid when healthy. The key is avoiding injuries, practicing the fundamentals during the week and then executing on the field on Sundays.

 

Me: Wow, that sounded very scripted.

 

Quinn: I’m reading from the script Coach Mangini gave me in case I got ambushed by the press while sitting in the locker room.

 

Me: Moving on, what do you think are the team’s chances of winning the Super Bowl this year?

 

Quinn: At this point in the year, our chances are just as good as the other 31 teams in the league. You never know what’s going to happen between now and training camp.

 

Me: But the team had an abysmal 2008 and there are a lot of holes on this team, even with the changes since Mangini came on. It’s hard to fix all of that in one year.

 

Quinn: Well that’s the great unknown. Look at what happened in Miami last year. They went from 1-15 in 2007 to the playoffs in 2008. I think if we stay focused and play well in our division, we can make the playoffs. Once you make the playoffs, anything can happen.

 

Me: I’ll concede the point about Miami, but how often does that happen. Not to re-state the obvious, but the AFC North does feature two of the best teams from 2008 in the Pittsburgh Steelers and the Baltimore Ravens.  By the way, the Steelers did just win the Super Bowl.

 

Quinn: Yes, but that was last year. We all start week one at the bottom of the mountain. It’s incumbent upon this team to put ourselves in a position to control our own destiny. You do that by beating the Steelers and by beating the Ravens.

 

Me: Do you approach games against the Steelers or Ravens any different? Past Browns coaches like Butch Davis always tried to play down the rivalries and say every game is equally important.

 

Quinn: You can’t win the division unless you beat the teams within your division. That being said, I know from growing up a Cleveland fan how important it is to beat the Steelers.

 

Me: Last question. Do you think Braylon Edwards will return to his 2007 Pro Bowl form?

 

Quinn: I’m only allowed to speak of Edwards in reverential tones. He threatened to badmouth anyone who spoke bad about him when he takes Keyshawn Johnson’s place on ESPN.

 

Me: I’ll take that as a “no.”

 

Quinn: I think I hear Coach Mangini coming.  Wait, why are you climbing back into the heating duct?

 

Me: I’m doing my Jack Bauer impression. I’ll have Chloe download the schematics to you later. Not a word to Mangini!

Taking the Snap on the Cleveland Browns’ 2009 Season

There is little doubt that the Cleveland Browns 2008 season was a disaster. The complete turnover in the front office and the subsequent roster moves are all the evidence that even the casual Browns fan needs to understand that particular point.

 

As a lifelong Browns fan, I have come to realize the danger of going into any season with high expectations. The last time any Browns fan went into a season with high expectations and came out with a championship was 1964. The last time the Browns saw any success in the playoffs was last century.

 

So how is 2009 looking after the draft and the subsequent rookie camp?

 

I don’t want to jinx anything by saying this, but things are looking up.

 

I was not impressed by the process that brought Head Coach Eric Mangini and General Manager George Kokinis to the headquarters in Berea, Ohio, but actions speak louder than words, and everything the front office has done since draft day speaks to a more professional organization that will make sure their team shows up prepared to play on Sundays in the fall. 

Unlike the last regime, which pretty much ran a daycare during training camp, held no one accountable for their actions and then acted surprised when most of the players failed to perform as expected on game day.

 

After the complete ineptitude of former Head Coach Romeo Crennel and General Manager Phil Savage the last few years, it won’t take much for this team to exceed my expectations going into 2009.

After going 4-12 last season and losing to the Pittsburgh Steelers for what seems to be the umpteenth time in a row, I have my “successful” season bar set to “just show up and look like you know where the end zone is.”

With that in mind, I want to see the Browns win no less than six games this year with at least one of those wins coming against the hated Steelers. The Steelers are the defending Super Bowl Champions, and one of the gold standards when it comes to successful organizations in the NFL.

So notching one in the win column against Pittsburgh would do Browns fan a world of good.

 

If Mangini can lead this team to an 8-8 season and beat the Steelers at least once, then he’ll be exceeding my expectations. Even with the turnover in players and staff, this is a team that just wasn’t very good last year in every aspect of the game.

They couldn’t stop the run, they couldn’t find the end zone in far too many games last year, and they committed way too many penalties. If I wasn’t already bald, I would’ve torn my hair out every game last year.

 

The Browns finished the year ranked 31st in overall offense, according to NFL.com, scoring an average of 14.5 points per game. To heap on the embarrassment, the Browns only scored one touchdown in the last four games of the season.

The last two games of the year, versus Cincinnati and Pittsburgh, both ended with shutouts. So if you’re looking for areas of improvement this year, the offense really has nowhere to go but up.

The obstacles facing the team are the same ones the Browns had last year. They still haven’t decided on a quarterback and the defense doesn’t inspire fear in opposing teams. The current regime can’t prove anything has changed until it takes the field for game one in September.

 

The fact that Mangini has declared an open quarterback competition soured me on his decision-making process as I’d seen enough of quarterback Derek Anderson in 2007-08 to last me a lifetime.

Anderson has a gun for an arm, but he has no idea where that ball is going to land once it comes down. He also gets happy feet in the pocket when under pressure and tends to make bad decisions while scrambling.

On the other hand, what little I saw of Brady Quinn was encouraging. The offensive line committed far fewer false starts when Quinn was under center, his passes were on target, for the most part, and he kept his head on his shoulders when the defense came charging through the tattered remnants of our offensive line.

 

Those factors are all I need to make my decision going into camp, and it would be up to Derek Anderson to take the job from Quinn.

 

Who will the eventual starting quarterback have to throw to? That’s the next obstacle to overcome in the 2009 season.

 

Braylon Edwards still could be traded before the season starts, and even if he isn’t, he wasn’t exactly known for his ability to hold onto the ball last year. The term “Brick Hands” comes to mind whenever I think of Edwards. Combine his drops with his diva attitude, and I’d rather take my chances on some rookies than rely on Brick Hands.

Donte Stallworth most likely has played his last game in the NFL and Joe Jureviciuswas released. Along with Brick Hands, the rookies and free agent signings, the Browns are returning Syndric Steptoe and Joshua Cribbs to the receiver corps.

Cribbs is one of the most versatile players on the team, and Steptoe isn’t. Steptoe doesn’t have much of a resume other than not completely sucking last year.

 

With the exception of Shaun Rogers, the defense was pretty much non-existent last year, so anything this coaching staff could do would, presumably, be an improvement over last year. The problem, again, is that the bar is set so low, I’m not sure one year of turnover is going to be enough to strike fear into opposing head coaches.

 

While the Browns did rank second, behind the Ravens, in interceptions, with 23 for 2008, they were tied with the Bengals at 30th in the NFL for number of sacks with 17. Only the Kansas City Chiefs were worse, with 10 sacks recorded.

 

As for the offensive line, rookie Alex Mack will, hopefully, help anchor that line along with Joe Thomas, Ryan Tucker, Rex Hadnot and Hank Fraley. While the line wasn’t great last year, the team was 26th in the NFL in rushing yards behind that line, they were decimated by injuries and brought down by poor coaching.

 

Mangini will bring more competence to the head coaching position and is continuing to implement the 3-4 defense, so the continuity in approach, and the good chance Mangini is more of a leader than Crennel was, raises my hopes a little.

But like all other teams, the true evaluation begins in September with the first game. I can gripe and praise all I want, but the numbers in the win/loss columns will be the true grade of this team.

 

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