Six Points on the Cleveland Browns (Dec. 19)

 

Cleveland Browns fans, already spilt into as many cliques who spread as many rumors as would be found in a typical suburban high school, went into speculation overload this week.

 

The afterglow of a victory over the hated Steelers was quickly replaced by another round of “he said/she said,” and the rumor mill was set ablaze by the media and the Intertubes.

 

Six Points apologizes in advance for pop culture references from the days when pop culture actually meant something to him, but going back to the first incarnation of Browns v 2.0 and the days of Carmen Policy, this franchise has been far more entertaining off of the field than on the field.

 

Plus ca change, plus c’est le meme chose.

 

1. Hot For Grand Poohbah:

 

Yes, that’s a reference to Van Halen’s “Hot For Teacher”.

 

Six Points never had that good fortune. While he had some excellent female teachers in high school, none of them could have been mistaken, even by Stevie Wonder, for Tawny Kitaen writhing on the car hood in the Whitesnake video.

 

Randolph Lerner and much of the fan base is now infatuated with Mike Holmgren to be Grand Poohbah of Football Operations, and the rumors are flying.

 

A dinner at Fahrenheit in Cleveland’s Tremont neighborhood became Holmgren’s own “we looked at houses,” per his Seattle radio interview, and that morphed into Holmgren allegedly having purchased a $450,000 home in the upscale Cleveland suburb of Bay Village.

 

A reported offer of $8 million a year for Holmgren to assume the position became “no money was discussed,” even though Holmgren’s agent also enjoyed a dinner setting at Fahrenheit.

 

In later interviews, Holmgren did not rule out coaching in addition to being Grand Poohbah.

 

Many fans of this 2-11 team are on board, basically thinking “(Holmgren)’s a lot better than what we have”.

 

But, the last time Lerner gave the reins to a coach who was also GM, the results were disastrous. While Butch Davis was decent as a game-day coach, his drafting and talent assessment were abysmal.

 

Add to that Holmgren’s mediocre record as Seattle GM before he was asked to step down to coaching only, and this infatuation may not be worth it.

 

Six Points leans more to Han Solo in the Star Wars series.

 

“I have a bad feeling about this.”

 

2. East Coast/West Coast:

 

In the 1990s, it was alleged that rival NFL players were flashing “east coast” and “west coast” gang signs at each other during the height of the crack cocaine and gang war epidemic in the United States.

 

While Six Point s would not know a gang signal from American Sign Language, he’ll have to take the media’s word for it.

 

Speculation has it that Holmgren, if hired in Cleveland, would install some version of the West Coast Offense.

 

If Holmgren is indeed the incoming Grand Poohbah of Football Operations, one could expect him to do just that.

 

This is not a knock on Holmgren as much as it is homage to his background.

 

Holmgren was once at Brigham Young before Bill Walsh hired him as QB coach to both Joe Montana and Steve Young, and in three Super Bowl appearances, the Packers and Seahawks ran the WCO.

 

When rising through the ranks, you bring what you know with you and implement it. That’s human nature.

 

But, this is the AFC North. While the NFC West is the weakest division in the NFL and the NFC North guarantees you two away games in domes annually, the AFC North is a smashmouth division.

 

To win in the AFC North, you need road graders on the offensive line, enforcers on defense, a power running game and a quarterback who can stretch the field. A beast at tight end along with explosive receivers doesn’t hurt, either.

 

The West Coast Offense in the AFC North?

 

Cue Han Solo.

 

3. Opportunity Sessions:

 

Forget about players “quitting” on Eric Mangini, despite what his detractors say.

 

Whether or not Mangini is walked to the door after one season, the players he coaches will be busting their tails the last three games of the 2009 season..

 

This franchise is regarded to be largely bereft of talent, and most observers will run out of fingers before they name ten definite “keepers.”

 

Some of these guys are playing for Mangini, but almost all of them are auditioning for the NFL in 2010, no matter where.

 

Nonetheless, the Clash’s “Train In Vain” will apply to many of their 2010 prospects.

 

4. Dead Mangini Walking?

 

Ever see a guy in the office who’s about to be fired?

 

Maybe he knows it or he doesn’t, but he definitely is cueing his inner Han Solo.

 

He’s taking time for people he once ignored, and defends his own performance to any and all who will listen.

 

We’ve seen that guy. Maybe we’ve been that guy. And that guy looks a lot like Eric Mangini right now.

 

His new boss may or may not like him, and he’s saying all of the right things. 

 

In Corporate America, it’s part of the process.

 

Even though national media pundits report Mangini is a goner if Holmgren takes the reins in Cleveland, there are reasons to defend him.

 

Yes, the record is 2-11, but the Browns, in one season, have gone from one of the NFL’s most-penalized to one of the least-penalized teams..

 

While many fans may have considered the opening quarterback competition to be a false start, the number of actual false start penalties, which cropped up under the Romeo Crennel regime at the worst possible times, has dropped dramatically.

 

Club Romeo is closed. The team is far more disciplined, and for the long-term good of the franchise, Mangini cut cancers out of the roster, knowing that the immediate chemo he was administering made things look worse in the short term.

 

On Thursday, December 10, the Browns out-Steelered the Steelers, dominating on both lines of scrimmage and special teams.

 

This might be hard to remember after a week of Holmgren speculation, but they sacked Big Ben eight times.

 

One game does not make or break a season, but the last time Six Points saw this kind of power football on the lakefront, some guy named Schottenheimer was wearing the headset.

 

At the bye week, Mangini and offensive coordinator Brian Daboll installed the no-huddle offense, and the offense, while far from being a finished product, makes fewer mistakes and is generally more productive.

 

When the stars line up, a defense with almost half its starters on IR can give opposing quarterbacks fits.

 

To paraphrase Holmgren himself, a head coach deserves more than one season to implement his system.

 

As does Eric Mangini.

 

5. Now Departing, Gate 7:

 

Will be Derek Anderson’s one-way flight to Oregon at the end of this campaign..

 

Is Derek Anderson as inept as he looked this season? Most likely not.

 

Can you coach 6’6,” his rocket arm and quick release? No.

 

But no matter who is wearing the headset on the sideline or who the Grand Poohbah is, Anderson’s contract will cost $7 million next year, plus a $2 million roster bonus.

 

Numbers like that for a backup, in the words of an ancient country song, scream “Please release me, let me go!”

 

6. Mirror, Mirror, On The Wall:

 

Which team is as ugly as the Cleveland Browns right now?

 

Their upcoming opponent, the Kansas City Chiefs.

 

With similar offensive stagnation and porous secondaries, these teams look like mirror images.

 

Matt Cassell is looking like the Scott Mitchell of this millennium, there’s not much at the skill positions, and the offensive line also has its share of matadors.

 

Prediction? Cleveland 24, Kansas City 13. Against the 27th-ranked passing defense in the NFL with no pass rush to speak of, the offense should work well enough, and with most of the team in extended “opportunity session,” the Browns should take their second game in a row.

 

Extra Point: Goodbye, Faithful Watchdog:

 

The Great Recession has not been kind to the print media. Hades is also rather warm.

 

Among its casualties have been the Seattle Post-Intelligencer (way cool name and neon globe logo on the building) and the (Denver) Rocky Mountain News , along with countless other smaller dailies and weeklies.

 

But, last week, Editor and Publisher went and joined the mastheads in the sky, and that’s a bigger loss than most of us think.

 

If your local daily published something that did not pass your smell test, E&P was often on it. A weekly magazine, it was a de facto newspaper about newspapers, along with policing the broadcast media.

 

If you wanted a job in journalism (once upon a time, people actually hired in that profession), the classified pages of E&P were the place to look. Want to know how your hometown daily stacked up in circulation? Again, you turned to E&P .

 

Which media company overextended itself to buy properties and was forced to jettison staff and reorganize? You went to E&P .

 

Print journalism, even in the form of alternative weeklies, has long been more lapdog than watchdog.

 

For not only journalists, but for citizens who wanted accurate reporting on what reporters were feeding them, Editor and Publisher was indispensable.

 

Our media, full of toy poodles when Rottweilers are needed, often drops the ball.

 

But E&P was there to let us know they dropped it.

 

Read more NFL news on BleacherReport.com

Six Points on the Cleveland Browns (Dec. 9)

It’s time for another edition of Six Points , since the last time this column was published, it was written to the tune of the Robert Plant song “Worse Than Detroit .”

 

Yes, the Browns still are, and despite glimmers of hope from “the process,” mediocrity would still be a massive improvement. But the panic button has been pushed too many times since Cleveland was “awarded” this expansion team, and it’s not the time to push it.

 

Yet.

 

1. Staying the Course, Part 1:

 

Six Points has never been a fan of Brayden Tyler Quinn, but Six Points gives credit where it’s due.

 

Quinn’s textbook opening drive against San Diego was a thing of beauty, and the fourth-quarter rally against the Chargers gave Browns fans something they have rarely seen from their team in 2009.

 

Namely, entertainment.

 

But, optimism has to be tempered by San Diego racking up 27 unanswered points on the Brownies and outgaining Cleveland 208 yards to 10 in the third quarter.

 

To channel Bob Eucker as Harry Doyle in Major League , “That’s all we got? Ten goddamn yards?”

 

The late scoring came with the Chargers in a prevent defense, as the Bolts had pretty much clocked out for the evening.

 

Nonetheless, Quinn appears to be playing looser and with more confidence.

 

The jury is still out on whether Quinn will be a credible NFL quarterback, but it’s becoming clear that the Browns have bigger problems than Brayden Tyler Quinn.

 

2. Staying the Course, Part 2:

 

Six Points has never jumped on the “Cangini” bandwagon, and has yet to buy a boarding pass.

 

Eric Mangini walked into Salary Cap Hell with only four draft picks, dumped salaries and cancers from a 4-12 squad, and set the Browns up with 11 draft picks in 2010. 

 

The Browns now have the second-highest cap room in the NFL.

 

When dumping salaries from a 4-12 team, 1-11 is within the realm of possibility. In fact, “the process” looks to Six Points like “blowing it up and starting over.”

 

Think of it as excavating a bedroom closet. In the beginning, the floor will be strewn with clothing that no longer fits and other detritus that is no longer relevant to your current life. 

 

Now, Mangini is dealing with a closet that hasn’t been cleaned correctly for a decade, and ten years of useless crap is all over the floor.

 

And yes, it does not look good.

 

But, jettisoning one piece of salary and tumor is appearing to pay dividends.

 

The New York media, never the kindest lot to the Browns’ coach while he was employed there, are now referring to the Braylon Edwards trade as “Mangini’s Revenge.”

 

In the NFL, you can get receivers who drop passes for far less money than Edwards commands.

 

The Mangini decision should rightfully be left to the incoming Grand Poohbah of Football Operations.

 

Vince Lombardi couldn’t do much better with the talent level on this squad.

 

3. A Weis Idea?

 

The latest rumor on the Intertubes has former Notre Dame head coach Charlie Weis coming to the lakefront as offensive coordinator, to be reunited with one Brayden Tyler Quinn.

 

Of course, Weis’ arrival may or may not be contingent on the firing of Mangini.

 

This needs to be taken with the proverbial grain of salt it deserves.

 

Weis or un-Weis is within the realm of the Grand Poohbah of Football Operations, who is not yet in the building.

 

4. Blackout Economics 102:

 

It’s Steelers week, and that means Cleveland Browns Stadium will be half-full of yinzers, thus, no blackout.

 

The Chargers game was barely televised, only being shown thanks to Cleveland CBS affiliate WOIO-TV and a consortium of local bars buying up the remaining tickets and donating them to charity.

 

The recipients of this largesse included the Cleveland Foodbank, the United Way, the Red Cross and the Salvation Army.

 

“Sir, that job you had has been outsourced to Sri Lanka, and you need our services. Sorry, we’re tapped out too, but have a few Browns tickets. By the way, parking is $25.”

 

Uh, thanks.

 

Since the upcoming Raiders and Jaguars home games have that unfortunate snowball’s chance in Hades of being televised in Greater Cleveland, it’s time for a little basic math.

 

Many ticketholders are giving their ducats away gratis for the remaining games. Six Points has been offered free tickets, but the vacuum cleaner bag needed to be changed.

 

Provided the Oreck was fully functional and Six Points decided to take advantage of the generosity, parking would be $25, three beers would run another $24, and gasoline from Six Points ’ undisclosed location to the Muny Lot would cost another $3.53 round trip, for a “free” $52.53 in expenses.

 

Now, another alternative would be to drive 105 miles to Erie, Pennsylvania and catch the game at a sports bar with NFL Sunday Ticket.

 

Fuel would cost $18.19 round trip, an entree another $15, three microbrews another $15, and a 20 percent tip another $6, for a total of $54.19.

 

For a difference of less than $2, Six Points could watch the same football futility, but stay warmer, eat better and drink better.

 

And the servers and bartenders are at least earning their paychecks.

 

5. The Fandom Menace:

 

Thanksgiving has come and gone, and for Six Points , it’s a wonderful holiday, as we take the time to appreciate what we have.

 

But some dread the holiday, as they have very dysfunctional family members who they are thankful they only break bread with once or twice a year.

 

From the uncle who’s trashed by noon to the cousin just out of rehab for the third time to the proselytizing aunt, Turkey Day can be stressful, and the dinner table conversations can be quite irrational.

 

But, there may be no more dysfunctional extended family than Cleveland Browns fans.

 

This may be a result of the fan equivalent of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, as eight of ten years of Browns v2.0 have ranged from disappointing to abysmal.

 

Before The Move, no less than Mike Ditka called Browns fans “the most knowledgeable and passionate in the NFL” after the Bears were blown out of Municipal Stadium in a 1989 Monday nighter.

 

Now, the same player can be loved by one fan and reviled by another. Same with the coaching staff.

 

Cleveland Browns Stadium more often resembles a mausoleum than the “Pandemonium Palace” late play-by-play announcer Nev Chandler once called Municipal Stadium.

 

Depending on which fan you talk to, and even what day of the week it is, Player X is either a bust or headed for the Pro Bowl.

 

Fans can come this close to throwing down as each side presents arguments that hold no water.

 

If Six Points was Randolph Lerner, the fan base would influence his decision making even less than a celebrity endorsement influences his choice of vehicle.

 

Sir? Randolph? Get the right Grand Poohbah in here, put him in charge, and pay no attention to the fans behind the curtain.

 

6. Unleashing Hell:

 

After the Steelers lost their third consecutive game, their head coach Mike Tomlin promised to “unleash Hell” against Pittsburgh’s opponents in December.

 

In a scene the yinzers must have felt was straight from Dante’s Inferno , the Steelers promptly lost their next game to lowly Oakland at Heinz Field.

 

In Western culture, the place of eternal damnation is unbearably hot. In Eskimo culture, their Hell is cold.

 

Mother Nature may have a circle of Eskimo Hell headed for the lakefront Thursday, as the forecast is for 19 degrees with snow and high winds.

 

The last time the Browns and Steelers clashed on the lakefront, it was another Weather Bowl, as high winds and driving rain dampened the Steeler attack and almost provided the opportunity for Cleveland to pull the upset.

 

As of this writing, Troy Polamalu is out for the Steelers, and Hines Ward is doubtful. 

 

Under Bruce Arians, Pittsburgh’s offense has become uncharacteristically pass-happy, but that may not work well in the howling winds coming off of Lake Erie.

 

The weather may be the equalizer an undermanned Cleveland team needs to compete, and that’s why Six Points is not looking for a blowout.

 

Prediction? Pittsburgh 21, Cleveland 17. And an unlikely upset may have part of the dysfunctional family of Browns fans uttering the term “Mangenius.”

 

Extra Point: Don’t try to Wake Up the Echoes:

 

They’re comatose.

 

And that won’t change.

 

Notre Dame, having shown Charlie Weis the door, is searching for a new head coach. Again.

 

The days of Rockne, Leahy, Parseghian and Holtz are not returning to South Bend, and that’s just reality.

 

Eleven national titles and the third-winningest football program in NCAA history aside, things have changed in the United States, and those changes do not favor Notre Dame.

 

In the days of Rockne and Leahy, Notre Dame had a built in pipeline of big Irish, German, Polish and other ethnic Catholic players from parishes who aspired to be Golden Domers from the first snap they took in CYO football.

 

Now, many of those parishes no longer exist.

 

The plants those kids’ parents worked in during America’s industrial heyday stopped making steel, cars and refrigerators long ago, and those close-knit ethnic neighborhoods have dissipated into suburbia.

 

America’s population has also shifted from the midwest and northeast to the south and west, and that trend also contributes to the Big Ten no longer being the powerhouse it once was.

 

As time went on, Ara Parseghian had another run of success in South Bend, and that coincided with the last heyday of the Big Ten. 

 

In Parseghian’s early days, southern college programs had yet to integrate, and along with Duffy Daugherty of Michigan State and Woody Hayes at Ohio State, Parseghian welcomed African-American players who could not play for schools close to home.

 

Both Notre Dame and Big Ten football may have reached their zenith at that time.

 

Periodically, there have been discussions, some more serious than others, about Notre Dame joining the Big Ten. 

 

That’s never happened, and Notre Dame’s exclusive TV contract is likely the reason. But if the Fighting Irish were in the Big Ten, they would be around the middle of the pack most years.

 

That TV contract is no longer the recruiting tool it once was, either. ESPN and other cable outlets now saturate the viewer with games between colleges and universities a previous generation never heard of.

 

Now, if NFL scouts see a player who they believe can play on that level, they will find him. See “Flacco, Joseph, QB, Delaware Sate.”

 

To its credit, Notre Dame also has more rigorous admission standards than most BCS programs. Regardless of its record in the future, Notre Dame should never lower those standards.

 

Not only has America’s population base shifted, its demographics have changed. The United States is less ethnic and Catholic; it’s also more socially moderate.

 

Despite the academic allure of Notre Dame, a new generation of player with the brains to play under the Golden Dome may be repelled by Catholic dogma, and choose a school of equal academic rigor, such as Cal, Stanford or Northwestern.

 

The scouts will find him there as easily as they will in South Bend.

 

This is not the end of Fighting Irish football by any means. Notre Dame will always be able to attract quality players, and every few years, they may be able to visit a BCS bowl in January.

 

But while Notre Dame football will never become irrelevant, its days of being a perennial powerhouse are as gone as many of the urban parishes that once fed them.

 

The echoes aren’t dead yet. They just take longer naps.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Read more NFL news on BleacherReport.com

Six Points on the Cleveland Browns (Nov. 20)

It’s Friday, and time for Six Points to scrub the mess off of the floor from the last week of the Cleveland Browns’ season, get out the Lysol to disinfect the remaining residue of the Monday nighter against Baltimore, and look forward (?) to Sunday.

 

 

 

1. One Fine Day:

 

Ever have one of those days where you wish you had a magic reset button so you could go back to sleep and remake it?

 

You know, one of those days where your dog dies, you take it to the vet for burial and your boss fires you for being late?

 

Brayden Tyler Quinn had one of those days Wednesday, Nov. 18.

 

Except for being fired, but that may be coming.

 

Quinn was fined $10,000 by the NFL, according to ESPN’s Adam Schefter, for his block at the knees on Baltimore’s Terrell Suggs.

 

Granted, fining Brayden Tyler Quinn $10,000 would be like fining Six Point s $1,, but it’s not all about the fine.

 

ESPN and the rest of the national media showed the clip of the interception return, and it, along with the commentary, did not make Brayden Tyler Quinn look very good.

 

Brayden Tyler Quinn has already lost $10.9 million in escalator clauses in his contract, predicated upon his taking 70 percent of the snaps in 2009, thanks to head coach Eric Mangini’s benching him after 10 ineffective quarters at the beginning of the season.

 

Now, based on the negative publicity, he could stand to lose lucrative commercial endorsements, which include Ganley Chevrolet, Subway and GNC.

 

Couldn’t happen to a nicer guy. More about that later.

 

 

 

2. 4077th M.A.S.H.:

 

In addition to both starting ILBs, D’Qwell Jackson and Eric Barton, along with rookie RB James Davis, two more starters have been declared out for the season.

 

Dave Zastudil, a punter who was a Pro Bowl candidate, is out for the remainder of the season with a knee injury. The Browns’ special teams unit, among the best in the NFL, will sorely miss him.

 

Steve Heiden, a Brown since 2002 and a solid blocker and overall performer at tight end, is down for the count with an ankle injury. This is probably the last we’ll see of Mr. Heiden, as he will be 34 by the time the next season rolls around.

 

As Browns fans know, Davis, whose help we could have used this year, is out with a shoulder injury for the year. That’s also on Brayden Tyler Quinn.

 

 

 

3. The Wheels on the Bus go Round and Round

 

And the crunching sound you hear is that of people being thrown under its wheels, such as GM in title only George Kokinis, veteran WR and Cleveland native Joe Jurevicius, and veteran Mangini Girl Friday Erin O’Brien. Not to mention numerous relatively anonymous staffers in support roles when the Stalinesque blood purge of the Berea compound began.

 

But, in about the only gesture of respect given to Eric Mangini in North America, Six Points will say he has handled the dismissals with class.

 

Mangini also handled something else professionally, taking the hit for the play that knocked Josh Cribbs out of the game when it wasn’t his doing. Say what you want about Mangini, that was pure accountability, knowing that the ultimate responsibility is his, even though the decision was made by his quarterback.

 

In the case of Kokinis, who the media reports Mangini handpicked to be his boss, Mangini mentioned his longtime friendship with him, and essentially said that sometimes things don’t work out.

 

Well, sometimes they don’t.

 

If they always did, divorce lawyers would be filing for unemployment along with half the rest of the country.

 

It may be Corpspeak, it may be a desire to avoid liability, but Six Points can honestly say Mangini has not publicly trashed anyone who is no longer with the Browns in his tenure here. Nor has he ever publicly trashed anyone on the squad who has been demoted.

 

If all former employers did that, the unemployment rate would be no lower, but the world might be a nicer place.

 

 

 

4. Reese’s Pieces:

 

It’s been all over the Internet and in the fishwraps this week that Randolph Lerner has been chatting up Mike Holmgren for his newly created Grand Poohbah of Football Operations gig.

 

Holmgren is more credible than anyone we have in the current structure, but Six Points wants someone else.

 

The man’s name is Floyd Reese.

 

Currently a “senior football adviser” to the New England Patriots, Reese was general manager of the Tennessee Titans from 1994 through 2006, when mercurial owner Bud Adams let him go.

 

Under Reese, the Titans were a perennial contender, notching 111 wins in those years.

 

By contrast, Browns v. 2.0 has fewer than half that number of wins in its decade of existence.

 

Randolph? Randy? Sir? 

 

Open your wallet for this man. Of all the names out there, he could assemble the pieces of a solid team.

 

Put a GM under him, as Six Points is sure he can recognize upcoming talent after his longtime experience, and let that management team decide if they can live with Mangini.

 

What’s in it for you? You can spend more time across the pond watching Aston Villa, your futbol team.

 

 

5. Where’s the Beef?

 

The late Clara Peller, a senior citizen when she starred in the Wendy’s commercials, examined a fictitious fast-food competitor’s burger, and uttered that legendary line.

 

Those commercials aired in the early 1980s, and in 1984, Democratic presidential candidate Walter Mondale used the line to attack his primary campaign rival, Gary Hart.

 

Hart, a charismatic and photogenic governor of Colorado, was many years Mondale’s junior, and was an early leader in the Democratic primaries.

 

As history shows, Hart was sunk by a paparazzo from the Miami Herald who photographed him on a boat with a model, but “Where’s the Beef?” remains as part of American culture to this day.

 

Basically, the phrase refers to a complete lack of substance.

 

Such is the case with Brayden Tyler Quinn.

 

In the years depicted in AMC’s award-winning series Mad Men , set in a fictitious Madison Avenue advertising agency, a common truism in advertising was “Sell the sizzle, not the steak.”

 

If there is any steak here, it’s not USDA Prime.

 

Let’s go back to 2007. Charlie Frye, as Browns QB, was mediocre at best, and the organization did not know what it had in Derek Anderson.

 

Enter Brayden Tyler Quinn. A photogenic QB from Notre Dame, a university boasting many Cleveland-area alumni. 

 

Quinn was an Ohio boy, and better yet, there were photos of him as a toddler in a Browns uniform.

 

The Notre Dame Hype Machine was ready to sell him as the Second Coming of Joe Montana, and former Browns GM Phil Savage bought the sizzle to the tune of a 2007 second-round draft pick and a 2008 first-round choice.

 

Thus, after being passed over 21 times in the 2007 draft, including by the Miami Dolphins for a kick returner when that franchise was in desperate need of a QB, Brayden Tyler Quinn became a Cleveland Brown.

 

On that fateful moment, Six Points almost trashed his Trinitron.

 

To be fair, if Paul Brown were resurrected to prowl the sideline once again and Peyton Manning took the snaps, this season’s record would not be much better with the talent level of the 2009 Cleveland Browns.

 

But, in the case of Brayden Tyler Quinn, as many red flags came with him as would have been found in a May Day parade in the former Soviet Union.

 

And, after he became a professional, the hits kept coming.

 

Brayden Tyler Quinn was drafted in the age of YouTube. Numerous videos of him exist booing service academies in his Notre Dame career.

 

Six Points considers that a completely classless act, as this column is not being written in German or Russian under an authoritarian government, but it gets worse.

 

YouTube videos abound of Brayden Tyler Quinn throwing hissy fits on the Notre Dame sidelines.

 

Videos also abound of his meltdown in the 2007 NFL Draft in the green room, as he looked to be on the verge of tears.

 

Going back to his Notre Dame career, Quinn played in four bowl games. He was 0-for-4, and the Fighting Irish lost by embarrassing margins.

 

Scouting reports, apparently glossed over by Savage, had serious concerns with his accuracy and ability to throw the deep ball. Those reports also, while praising his intelligence, questioned his ability to be long-term NFL material.

 

Let’s start again with Quinn’s multimillion-dollar professional career. After holding out in 2007, he could beat out neither Charlie Frye nor Derek Anderson.

 

In lieu of making headlines on the field, on December 31, 2007, Columbus police questioned him for an altercation with homosexuals outside of a bar in the gay-friendly Short North district of that city. No charges were filed.

 

According to AP reports, Brayden Tyler Quinn was harassing them.

 

As Shakespeare said, “Methinks thou might protesteth too much.”

 

Six Points was once young and cute, and had a few homosexuals try to pick him up. The response was “I like women,” or “I don’t swing that way,” and that was that.

 

And that was in a far less tolerant time.

 

But why in the world, on New Year’s Eve, would you be in a gay area of your city if you were neither swinging that way nor had more issues than National Geographic?

 

Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Except for the issues.

 

Now, let’s advance to 2008.

 

Quinn, once again, failed to win the starter’s role in preseason. Only after the team unraveled did he get a start against a Denver defense that was missing almost its entire secondary.

 

In a loss, that was Quinn’s only respectable start of his career. Although he won the following week in Buffalo, his statistics were abysmal.

 

After he was disabled for the season with a broken finger, Quinn was decked by former Browns DL Shaun Smith in the locker room. As Mangini would say, it was an internal matter, but why in the world would a second-string defensive lineman risk his career by decking a multimillionaire QB without reason?

 

Smith now plays for Las Vegas of the UFL. Maybe the two can be reunited soon. After all, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.

 

Let’s go to 2009, shall we?

 

In Quinn’s first 10 quarters at QB, before being replaced in the middle of his third game as starter, the Browns’ offense generated a total of 19 points. 

 

Before being put on the injured reserve list for the season, promising RB James Davis was laid out by Quinn in the regular-season opener against Minnesota on a poorly thrown, high short pass. The Vikings’ defender put him out for the game with a shoulder injury, which would be later blamed on a practice session.

 

Once again, Mangini covered for his players.

 

Some Internet buzz (unconfirmed) reported that Mangini was facing an “all-out mutiny” if Quinn would have been the starter the following game against Cincinnati.

 

After that, many middle fingers were raised in bars and living rooms in Greater Cleveland as he was shown pouting on the sideline.

 

Reinstalled as starting QB after Derek Anderson did no better with the Browns’ lack of talent, Quinn mustered exactly zero points against Baltimore’s suspect secondary and almost got his team’s only playmaker knocked out for the season after calling the ill-fated hook-and-ladder play that laid him out on a stretcher.

 

Nice exclamation point on a 23.5 QB rating with 74 net yards, no?

 

Phil Savage, we’d go root for Buffalo, but there’s no steak here, and the sizzle has long been gone. And we are damn hungry.

 

Now, the only sound we hear that accompanies fragrance is the Febreze we’re spraying to get rid of the smell of this draft pick.

 

 

 

6. Blackout Stout:

 

In this region, Great Lakes Brewing Company’s Christmas Ale has become a holiday tradition.

 

Some call it “Christmas Jail,” as people who normally partake of lesser brews exhibit substantially less intelligent behavior while consuming it.

 

Great Lakes also brews something else that can put one’s reputation and livelihood at risk, and it’s called Blackout Stout.

 

Named after the electricity failure that darkened most of the eastern United States and much of Canada in 2003, Blackout Stout comes in at around 9.1 percent alcohol.

 

While a nice memory blackout might be a wonderful thing to have for this Browns season, the title was in honor of the Detroit Lions having their home market blacked out for this clash of 1-8-0 titans.

 

After all, you have to be stout-hearted to even think about watching.

 

On Brayden Tyler Quinn’s One Fine Day, Six Points asked “Who do you think will win on Sunday?”

 

The answer was “Whoever doesn’t watch the game!”

 

Paul Brown and Bobby Layne are rolling in their graves.

 

Looking at the game, the resistible force is confronting the movable object. Namely, the NFL’s worst offense confronting the NFL’s worst defense.

 

But, at least the Lions can score.

 

Thus, Six Points  predicts another valiant effort by a short-handed Browns defense wasted, with the final score Detroit 17, Cleveland 9.

 

 

 

Extra Point: The Game:

 

The Saturday before Thanksgiving is approaching, and that means it’s time for The Game, as it’s known from Columbus to Akron to Cleveland to Toledo to Detroit to Ann Arbor.

 

For over a century, Ohio State and Michigan have gone hammer-and-tong on the Saturday before Thanksgiving, and throw the record books out when these two archrivals meet.

 

For Michigan and their embattled coach Rich Rodriguez, this is the Wolverines’ Super Bowl. Rodriguez’ job could be saved with an upset in the Big House.

 

HBO Films did an excellent documentary on this greatest of all traditional rivalries, and if you haven’t seen it, it’s worth a look.

 

When young, you hate the other team and the other school.

 

Growing up, you still hate the other team, but dislike and respect the other school simultaneously.

 

As years go by, you respect the rivalry, having worked with alumni of your onetime enemy, and appreciate the greatness of that Saturday before Thanksgiving, win or lose.

 

And as maligned as the Big Ten may be in the national media, you hold the Saturday before Thanksgiving sacred, for it is the day when rivalries that may date to before your ancestors arrived in America are renewed.

 

Wisconsin plays rival Northwestern, and Purdue and Indiana battle for the Old Oaken Bucket. Iowa and Minnesota have at it, and all those rivalries go back to the days before the Ford Model T.

 

May there never be an official Big Ten Championship Game. Most years, it comes down to Ohio State and Michigan.

 

And may the Saturday before Thanksgiving always be sacred. Shabozz. Amen.

 

 

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Six Points on the Cleveland Browns (Nov. 18)

One of two nationally televised Cleveland Browns games is in the books, and a realistic Cleveland football observer could not have expected much better than what he or she saw Monday night, Nov. 16.

Never fear, Six Points is here to recap the good, the bad, and the ugly. 

Of course, it was mostly bad and ugly.

1. Boycott? What boycott?

Despite the efforts of “Dawg Pound Mike,” pictured at the upper right, the stands of Cleveland Browns Stadium were more full than usual at kickoff.

Posters on the Orange and Brown Report have alleged that Dawg Pound Mike was even greeted by a certain anatomical chant when he walked in late after hiding in the bowels of Cleveland Browns Stadium.

Mike, we get it. We don’t like what we’re seeing, either.

But, of your Warhol-esque 15 minutes of fame, we’re glad you’re at 14:58:52.

 

2. In defense of the Browns:

Against a Baltimore offense with weapons, defensive coordinator Rob Ryan had the game scoreless at halftime.

This is with a defense with marginal talent overall, and its two inside linebackers out for the season.

The Browns’ only significant defensive lapse came on a 41-yard reception by Derrick Mason on Brandon McDonald, recipient of a Jason Voorhees Award from Six Points on Friday, Nov. 13.

McDonald, on what should have been an eight-yard completion, was out of position, and the play went an extra 33 yards. Ray Rice ran it in from 13 yards out on a “tackling is optional” play for the score.

Overall, the defense’s play is improved over the 2008 season, and Ryan is not afraid to take risks with his undermanned unit.

Never mind the rankings.

With an impotent offense, even the legendary Steel Curtain of the 1970s would wear down.

 

3. The Body Bag Bowl:

Despite the ineptitude of Cleveland’s offense, viewers were treated to a smashmouth game of AFC North football.

For Baltimore, it started early. S Haruki Nakamura went down with a broken ankle on the opening kickoff.

ILB Tavares Gooden went out with a concussion, and TE Todd Heap left with a chest injury on a “You catch, you pay!” hit reminiscent of the Dixon and Minnifield era.

On a Brandy Queen interception, LB Terrell Suggs suffered a knee injury after Queen dove straight for his legs after throwing the pick.

For Cleveland, TE Steve Heiden left with an ankle injury before WR/KR/PR Joshua Cribbs was carted off on a stretcher on the last play of the game.

Baltimore’s Dwan Edwards leveled Cribbs with a vicious hit as the Browns tried a hook-and-ladder play with seconds left, trailing 16-0.

Question for the coaching staff: Is there some obscure rule that makes a run through the Stanford marching band worth 16 points?

Was the hit on Cribbs retaliation for Queen’s cheap shot on Suggs?

Quite possibly.

National League baseball pitchers think twice before drilling an opponent, as payback is often due the next time they bat.

In the NBA, hard fouls beget hard fouls.

And, reminiscent of Butch Davis’ inexplicable decision to play Kellen Winslow, Jr. on special teams on the artificial turf of Texas Stadium, thus losing him for the year, Cleveland’s coaching staff risked the Browns’ only playmaker on a meaningless play at the end of a lost game.

Fortunately, Cribbs has been released from the Cleveland Clinic, and tests for a concussion were negative.

 

4. Signs of the Times:

Cleveland Browns Stadium is usually a sterile, joyless and corporate place, but Browns fans provided entertainment that was often lacking on the field.

It’s a far cry from Cleveland’s old Municipal Stadium, where fans went as far as to hang then-coach Nick Skorich in effigy from the upper deck during a losing 1974 season.

But the old creativity of Browns fans was renewed on that Monday night, producing such televised gems as: “Cleveland Browns: Rebuilding Since 1964!”

The one that made Six Points almost expel beverage through nostrils was featured on the front page of the Nov. 17 Cleveland Plain Dealer .

It read, “Hey Baltimore: Can You Take This Team Too?”

Old Irish saying, “We laugh so we may not cry.”

 

5. Primates Flinging Feces Redux:

To get a vibe for what’s left of the fan base, Six Points watched the game at a local restaurant.

As mentioned Nov. 13, the fan base has been split regarding the QB controversy. In other news, the Hummer H1 is not exactly fuel efficient.

Now, in frustration, the venom spreads beyond the QBs to the rest of the team.

On one sack play, a patron even turned on All-Pro LT Joe Thomas, as he screamed “Way to go, All-Pro Joe!”

Of course, that was followed by “We should have taken Adrian Peterson.”

If Six Points had $10 for every time he’s heard or read that argument, he’d be debt-free, and well on his way to a comfortable retirement.

Brandy Queen’s second interception was greeted by a derisive round of applause.

You know, like the one the kid who drops his lunch tray gets in a high school cafeteria.

The late Gib Shanley, erstwhile radio announcer for the Browns, once spoke of the “Cleveland Chorus in Boo Flat” when Browns fans expressed their disgust at the team’s performance.

That note was sounded loudly in Browns Stadium after Queen’s second pick.

 

6. What’s in a Name?

In the first edition of Six Points, the precedent was set that a certain QB would be referred to as “Brandy Queen” until he completed a pass beyond 10 yards from the line of scrimmage to one of his own receivers.

Well, Queen was 0-for-7 on passes thrown 10 yards or more downfield, including a couple of spectacular wounded ducks in garbage time that landed at least five yards out of bounds.

The overall line? Four sacks, 13-of-31 for 99 yards passing (74 net yards), two interceptions, and 2.1 yards per attempt for a rating of 23.4.

With performances like that, not even the Steel Curtain, the Purple People Eaters of Viking lore, nor the Doomsday Defense of Dallas could carry a team.

 

Extra Point: A Change Is Gonna Come:

Sam Cooke wrote that tune in December of 1963, and it was released as a single posthumously in 1964.

It became one of the most influential civil rights songs of all time.

Yes, Six Points listens to NPR.

A loss to Detroit in four days could have Eric Mangini in the coaching equivalent of cement shoes.

The fans are restless, and Randolph Lerner does not like what he sees.

Don’t be surprised if this happens. Dick Jauron, figuratively, is at the bottom of the other end of Lake Erie.

This may be the time for the Browns, before the new front office is installed, to see what they have in Rob Ryan.

Ryan’s undermanned unit has played aggressively, and he has a sideline demeanor not seen in Cleveland since Marty Schottenheimer.

Ryan may or may not be head coaching material, but there’s precedent for going forward under his leadership if the Browns lose in Detroit.

His name is Mike Singletary.

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Six Points on the Cleveland Browns (Nov. 12)

 

1. Liar, Liar (XXL) Pants On Fire:

 

In a CBS Sports interview, Head Coach Eric Mangini claimed ignorance of an escalator clause in Brandy Queen’s contract that would have paid him an additional $10.9 million if he took 70 percent of the snaps this season.

 

This claim came from a man who has a reputation as enough of a control freak to select the wattage of light bulbs and the thickness of toilet paper in the Browns’ Berea compound.

 

On November 11, Six Points suggested Randy Lerner call Joe Isuzu to handle marketing duties. 

 

Apparently, he’s already in the building.

 

2. Blackout Economics 101:

 

At last report, around 3,000 tickets remain for the Monday nighter against Baltimore, and the ducats have to be sold by 8:30 p.m. on Friday, the 13th.

 

Suppose that out of sheer masochism, I absolutely had to see this game. Two tickets would set me back $100 or so, parking another $25, and three $8 beers apiece would run another $48, for a conservative estimate of $173.

 

Another option would be to drive 75 miles each way to a blackout-free zone, rent a hotel room for $100 or so and burn about $15 in gasoline.

 

That would leave me $58 ahead, not including alcohol. For $58, something stronger than beer could be purchased to ease the pain of watching this team.

 

Like Jameson. With money left over.

 

3. This game will not be blacked out:

 

If the Great Recession has wrought devastation on any industry to rival its effect on newspapers, that industry is local broadcast television.

 

Why wait 22 minutes into a 30-minute newscast to get the weather forecast when you can get one on your PC or Mac in less time than it took me to type this sentence?

 

WJW-TV, Cleveland’s FOX affiliate, has the local broadcast rights to carry the ESPN feed.

 

For WJW, the game is a cash cow. This team is putrid, but people still watch. 

 

Call it the wreck on the Interstate. You still slow down and look.

 

Too many advertising dollars are at stake for WJW not to carry what appears to be an upcoming carnage.

 

4. Building a Better Boycott:

 

The national media has covered the tale of a season ticket holder, whose name shall not be mentioned here, who asks fans to show up late for the Monday nighter in protest.

 

Apparently, he thinks ESPN showing an empty stadium at kickoff will shame the Browns organization into fixing its problems.

 

No, it won’t.

 

Browns fans in this region know Cleveland Browns Stadium is rarely full at kickoff, thanks to tailgating and airport-level security.

 

If you’re thoroughly disgusted, as many are, don’t go to the games at all. 

 

Don’t show up dressed as a bag of French fries, as this Pied Piper of the Pound did in 2006. Show up dressed as an empty orange seat.

 

Even if you already paid for the tickets, consider that a “sunk cost,” and don’t buy gear or concessions.

 

And don’t sweat The Move v. 2.0. The lease with the city commits the team to play at Cleveland Browns Stadium until 2029.

 

5. The Browns are becoming the Buick of the NFL:

 

In other words, they are losing their customers to the graveyard.

 

If you were of legal drinking age the last time the Browns won a playoff game, you’re at least 35 now.

 

If you could legally imbibe the last time the Browns were in serious contention, you’re over 40.

 

If you were of age the last time the Browns won it all, you’re a senior citizen.

 

The continued ineptitude of this organization has cost it an entire generation of fans.

 

6. For Heaven’s sake, shut the Hell up!

 

In Brandy Queen’s presser held in honor of his being reinserted as starting QB, he used the occasion to speak of his “positive attitude and faith in Christ.”

 

Of all the annoying types of co-worker one can have, the workplace proselytizer has to be near the top of the list. They even offend Christians.

 

In my experience with these types, they often tend to be among the least competent in their duties. Can you say “6-for-30 on third down?” Of course you can!

 

EXTRA POINT: I thanked the wrong vet.

 

In the first edition of Six Points , I credited Akron Beacon Journal veteran Patrick McManamon with the inspiration for this format.

 

But, I’m writing this column in uncensored American English.

 

Yes, this Browns season is a Steaming Sack of Suck.

 

But what would suck far worse would be typing this in German, Japanese, Russian or Arabic with a government ready to imprison me if I offended the wrong people.

 

Like many Americans, I came up a day late and a dollar short in passing out the props that were due Veterans Day, November 11.

 

Mea maxima culpa .

 

And thanks again to all who served.

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Addition By Subtraction: Edwards To Bite Big Apple

“Addition by subtraction”—Paul Brown

The legendary Hall of Fame coach is credited with this phrase, having used it to justify releasing players who did not meet his standards.

“Nothing good ever happens after midnight”—common saying

After the Braylon Edwards nightclub incident following a loss to the Bengals, which may have Cleveland’s former diva with the dropsies facing criminal charges, it would not have been surprising if Eric Mangini had simply released Edwards outright.

Instead, he got value for Edwards. How much is debatable, but releasing a problem child in and of itself may have been the best course to take in the long term.

For a coach who is still in the process of changing the entire culture of a team, there was really no choice.

We’ve all had bad days at the office, and Edwards certainly had one. But, while we may stop at our corner pub for a few nips after a bad day at the office, most of us don’t close nightclubs and throw down with people half our size.

Despite Edwards’ incredible talent, this had to be done.

This wasn’t just one bad night. It was one of many for Edwards Scissorhands.

And, even the initial scouting reports on Edwards foreshadowed his on-field performance.

The book on Edwards coming out of Michigan was that he could make the ESPN Sportscenter catches, but often drop the easy ones. For over four years, Browns fans saw just that.

His work ethic was often questioned, his route running was spotty along with his blocking, and his on-field antics would get the average kindergartner a time out.

And that was just on the field.

Who can forget his missing a crucial team meeting, defying then-coach Romeo Crennel, because he had to helicopter to Columbus to watch the Ohio State-Michigan game?

When the boos rained down on him like the balls he dropped at Cleveland Browns Stadium, he showed some severe cognitive dissonance.

Bray-on, as he became known, said the fans didn’t like him because he went to Michigan.

Reality check: Thom Darden, Leroy Hoard and Steve Everitt, all Michigan men, were beloved in Cleveland. They got the job done. Bray-on didn’t.

Never mind the four-figure bar tab he rang up at the Fontainebleu in Miami Beach on that tragic night with Donté Stallworth.

Never mind his alleged propensity to miss morning player meetings or sleep through them. 

A sports psychologist could have a field day with Braylon Edwards, but to laypeople, he certainly did not lack narcissism.

Call him T.O. v2.0, but without the résumé.

Thus, there was no choice but to call Dr. Mangini to the O.R. to remove another cancer.

Dr. Mangini’s been busy this year. The Soldier (Kellen Winslow, Jr.), Shaun (let’s deck the quarterback in the locker room) Smith, and now Edwards Scissorhands are gone.

Now, the short-term and long-term prognosis.

Short-term: This might hurt a bit

We’ve all heard that one right before the flu shot, and yes, it hurt.

The book on defending the Browns was to double up Edwards, a legitimate No. 1 receiver, and make someone else beat you.

In the Cincinnati game, the attention given to Edwards was largely responsible for Mohammed Massaquoi’s breakout game. We got Chansi Stuckey, a No. 2 receiver, in return.

On the upside, Stuckey has been a favorite target of Matt Sanchez in New York, but he can’t be expected to draw the coverage Edwards did.

For now, the Browns will be operating with two No. 2 receivers and a No. 3, and no clear and present danger defenses have to account for.

The absence of Edwards could cost a couple of victories this season, but teams can win without superstar wideouts.

This might hurt a bit, Part Two:

That is, if you have to deal with the Browns’ special teams, which added yet another weapon in Jason Trusnik.

(Full disclosure: Trusnik played for my old high school).

Trusnik was named the AFC’s special teams player of the week in Week Three, and has a reputation as a hammer on ST.

Officially a third-string linebacker for the Jets, he won’t be expected to make anyone forget Jack Lambert, but his work ethic is highly regarded.

Long term: Health care reform

The Browns just dumped a lot of payroll that was not generating much in return.

Edwards was the third overall pick in the 2005 draft. That cap hit is being replaced by a seventh-rounder (Stuckey), an undrafted free agent (Trusnik) and two undisclosed draft picks, rumored to be a third-rounder and a fifth-rounder.

On any level, football teams are built from the inside out, and this deal affords the Browns the potential of four solid players for less than the cost of one diva.

 

Let’s hope the patient is cancer-free.

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Destroying The Village In Order To Save It: Quinn Needs To Play

I’m too young to have served in Vietnam.

Too many lives were wasted there for no reason.

Gen, William Westmoreland (known by the left as “Waste More Land”) once defended eviscerating a hamlet in Vietnam by saying “We had to destroy the village in order to save it.”

Gen. Eric Mangini might be dropping the Napalm on many Browns fans on the 2009 season for the same reason.

You wanted Brady Quinn, you have him. Now, enjoy.

Quinn looked inept against the Minnesota Vikings’ defense, but the Vikings can make many QBs look bad. The next test was Denver, and Golden Domer produced two field goals against a mediocre defense.

After Quinn was unimpressive against the Broncos in the first half, I drove four miles to a local waterhole who has the NFL Sunday Ticket. I wanted to see if the hoi polloi was seeing the same things, and for the most part, they saw them.

In the second half, Quinn looked worse. I heard things like “He’s got all (Lord condemned) day! What the (fornication) is he doing?”

Quinn had plenty of time against the Broncos, in fact, more time than most. But, any legitimate NFL quarterback would have been able to take the time that I took to say “one thousand five” and unleashed a bomb downfield, not taken a sack or completed a pass for negative two yards when the Browns needed ten.

Destroying the village in order to save it might not be a bad idea, after all.

Browns fans, once some of the NFL’s most knowledgeable, may have the numerous imbeciles culled from their ranks.

Adding insult to incompetence, the Broncos did not go into a prevent defense to let Quinn pad his statistics.

Next stop for Brady Quinn is at Baltimore. Good luck with that.

RIP, Gen. Westmoreland.

In your honor, I suggest the Browns play Brady Quinn until the bye week, go 1-7 or 0-8 and determine he is NOT the answer at quarterback.

The village needs to be saved.

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Meet The New Browns; Same As The Old Browns

We just got fooled again.

For 30 minutes of football, the Browns, in the words of former head coach Butch Davis, played their guts out.

While the offense continued to lack the competency it has not consistently shown since the days of Lindy Infante, the D was actually (gasp) pressuring the quarterback, keeping All-Pro Adrian Peterson in check, and thanks to Browns MVP Josh Cribbs (no one can or will come close this year), they actually led at halftime.

It’s one thing to forget college calculus over a decade later. I’ve done that.

But, the Browns forgot how to tackle in the span of a 15-minute intermission.

Call the EPA and the CDC to inspect the locker room for whatever causes this amnesia. My tongue in cheek prediction of 52-9 was not far off in reality, as Peterson shredded the D in the second half.

When was the last time the Browns could stop the run? 1994?

Deposed offensive coordinator Bruce Arians must have come back to the lakefront. The Wildcat formation twice in a row in a goal-to-go situation?

Jamal Lewis was running more like age 25 than 30 at that point, and we have a couple of big dudes named Thomas and Steinbach on the OL. WTF?

Brady Frye was sacked five times, and although he finished with a completion percentage over 60 percent, that was only possible thanks to a garbage-time touchdown going up against a second-string Vikings defense that was in a deep prevent .

Brady Dorsey’s/Pederson’s/Detmer’s fumble was a thing of beauty. Passes should go forward in the NFL. Just saying.

In the first quarter, there was actual crowd noise at Cleveland Browns Stadium. Lew Merletti, former head of the Secret Service and currently in charge of security at Mistake on The Lake v. 2.0, must have been going nuts.

One more quarter of that, and the National Guard may have been deployed.

Not to worry, by the time the fourth quarter came, the familiar sea of empty seats watched the action. Fifty-yard-line seats still remain for the December 27 game against Oakland.

Now, back to the quarterback.

Earlier this decade, there was a bowl game that quarterback played against Ohio State. He was punished by the Buckeye defense, and the outcome was never in doubt.

Instead of airing it out when behind, that quarterback dinked and dunked his way downfield to a garbage time touchdown to make the final score 34-20 in a game that wasn’t that close.

What was the final score again Sunday? Was the game even that close?

In that Fiesta Bowl, that quarterback’s numbers didn’t look that bad, but he was completely ineffective. The line from Sunday didn’t look abysmal, but one play in particular stands out.

That QB had an eternity to throw, and another QB on the roster would have fired a deep laser to a receiver.

Given all day to throw, where did that QB throw it? About three yards forward when he had open receivers downfield. OK, pad the QB rating, scoreboard be damned.

NFL defensive backs tend to come from places like Ohio State, LSU and Florida; not Army, Navy and Air Force.

Even for Randy Lerner, money’s tighter these days than it has been since the Great Depression.

If a certain QB does not take 70% of the snaps this year, the Browns either save $6.23 million or $11 million in performance incentives.

According to the Cleveland Plain Dealer, the number is $11 million.

From the looks of this, Lerner will save his money.

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Cleveland Browns 2009 Outlook: I Can Only Go By What I See

“I can only go by what I see.” With those words, Bill Belichick benched fan favorite Bernie Kosar in 1993 in favor of Vinny Testaverde before ultimately releasing Kosar.

With those words, I approach the 2009 Cleveland Browns season.

First, I don’t see the 2-14 record Peter King of Sports Illustrated predicted for this team. But I’m also not delusional. I don’t see the Browns going 13-3 with a certain Notre Dame alumnus leading them deep into the playoffs.

Both scenarios are just not gonna happen. Here’s how I think things will go, based on what I’ve seen.

 

OK, let’s start with the good stuff:

Special Teams:

New coaching, new approach plus Josh Cribbs should have the Browns’ special teams ranked among the NFL’s elite units. Phil Dawson remains a solid kicker, and Dave Zastudil is well above average as a punter. Barring injury, no problems here.

 

Offensive Line:

You build from the trenches, and the left side of the offensive line looks solid. The right side, not so much.

But there is more depth on the line overall, and “addition by subtraction” is no more evident than releasing Kevin Shaffer, also known as the Human Parking Cone, from the squad.

 

Intangibles:

The schedule is much easier than the one the Browns faced in 2008, and regardless of the record, expect a disciplined team with fewer exasperating penalties and much better clock management.

New coaching also brings new hope on the lakefront, and the Browns could get a “dead cat bounce” from the regime change alone.

With low expectations, the Browns could sneak up on a few opponents and pull some upsets. Nonetheless, only a few of the long-term pieces are in place.

 

Now, the stuff that’s improved:

Wide Receiver:

This is Braylon Edwards’ contract year, and visions of briefcases full of Benjamins can be a miracle cure for the dropsies.

In the debacle that was the 2008 campaign, the absence of Joe Jurevicius was another key component in that epic fail.

Mike Furrey appears capable of filling Jurevicius’ old “money on third down” role, and in the second receiver spot, we might be tracking the Who’s “The Kids Are All Right” by the end of the season.

Josh Cribbs might fill the bill in part, with Mohamed Massaquoi delivering more of the goods.

Brian Robiskie, despite his high football IQ, might not be ready to make an impact in 2009, but Mo, Robo, Cribbs and Furrey represent a significant upgrade over the likes of Syndric Steptoe.

No mention of Donté Stallworth is, again, addition by subtraction.

 

Defensive Line

The key here is health. The Browns’ DL was banged up last season, and its performance was not helped by Romeo Crennel’s passive, read-and react 3-4.

Robaire Smith, recovered from an Achilles injury, should make a major difference at defensive end, and the bright spot of the preseason may have been Ahtyba Rubin, who showed he can handle the nose tackle position if need be.

Shaun Rogers, aka Big Baby, is enough to make grown men who play center cry, and if healthy with better talent around him, he should be an All-Pro level force.

 

Linebacker:

Gone is Willie McGinest, who coaches could time with a sun dial. Kamerion Wimbley showed flashes of his 2006 form in preseason, and D’Qwell Jackson remains solid. Alex Hall also showed potential in exhibition games,

The biggest difference in this unit should be the coaching, as Rob Ryan will bring a more aggressive version of the 3-4 to the lakefront.

Also, look out for Kaluka Maiava. Who? Fourth-round pick from USC in 2009 who I expect to work his way up from special teams and blossom into an impact ILB in a few years.

 

Secondary:

Brandon McDonald and Eric Wright at the corners will not make Browns fans forget Hanford Dixon and Frank Minnifield, but with another year of seasoning plus playing behind a front seven with greater QB pressure, they should be serviceable.

The ugly part of this is the lack of depth at safety, and the back end of Cleveland’s defense could again be porous. Browns fans can hope Mike Adams and Abram Elam are passable, with Adams having more upside.

Still, I’m calling the unit improved by virtue of coaching changes.

 

The stuff we don’t know about:

Quarterback:

Will Brady Quinn be the next Joe Montana or the next Rick Mirer? Or maybe and more likely, another Kelly Holcomb?

Browns fans, once some of the NFL’s most knowledgeable, are showing unwarranted blind loyalty to the point of myopia on the quarterback issue.

For example, if you’re a conservative, the level of discourse on the QB position could be likened to growing up reading William F. Buckley and being subjected to Fox News in adulthood.

While agreement is still possible, you wish people of higher caliber were around to make a more eloquent case for your position.

If Quinn continues to eschew the long ball for shorter and safer throws, defenses will stack eight men “in the box,” and it could be a long season on the south shore of Lake Erie.

Derek Anderson, despite his higher likelihood of tossing picks, forces defenses to respect the long ball, which opens up the running game.

Whoever the starter is, Browns fans should just root for the laundry anyway.

If Quinn gets the nod and flames out, Peter King’s prediction becomes plausible. Derek, stick around. I think we’ll need you. Ken Dorsey, don’t call us. We’ll call you.

 

That which could make for a long season:

Running Back:

In NFL running back years, 30 is the new 50, especially for a workhorse like Jamal Lewis. Instead of his traditional burst into the hole, Lewis has developed a tentative stutter step which led me to comment, “Is this football, or Dancing With The Stars?”

No less than Jim Brown has cited that hesitancy as a sure sign that a running back is past his prime.

James Davis could prove to be a complete sixth-round steal, but Jerome Harrison has been MIA the entire pre-season. Lawrence Vickers is a solid blocker at fullback, but no real running threat.

Unless Lewis can turn from Dancer into Dasher again, Browns fans could have visions of a high draft choice dancing in their heads by Christmas.

 

Tight End:

Yes, many fans miss the Soldier (AKA Kellen Winslow), but his tour of duty in Cleveland aged him too fast. At this position, there’s not much on the plate.

Steve Heiden is a solid journeyman, but he’s long in the tooth. Robert Royal is the type of player that would get a “C” at best at his position.

Who else is left? What was the name of that “can’t-miss” prospect Phil Savage drafted? Is he still around? Oh yeah, Martin Rucker, who has given Browns fans nothing to see here, so move along.

Go root for Buffalo, Phil.

 

Prediction:

7-9 overall, with a 2-4 record in the AFC North, good for third place behind Pittsburgh and Baltimore.

Read more NFL news on BleacherReport.com

Paul Brown: The Reason For The Season

It’s the most wonderful time of the year. Football season. And there’s one man to thank for it. Paul Brown.

I’ll start this most wonderful time of the year sweating and cleaning up Rottweiler poop by the tree out back, and finish it in a North Face jacket with boots on digging out Rottweiler poop in the snow.

Between cleaning up the leavings of a large dog, I’ll meet people I have not seen for years during Knights games, see old friends during Buckeyes games, and see more friends and make new ones while I spew invective during Browns games.

This most wonderful time of the year brings old friends together and makes new ones, whether we like the sport or not.

It’s a great sport, and a great opportunity to get together.

The game we love, whatever team we root for on which level, would not exist in its present form without a man who was before my time, but whose legacy almost provoked riots in Cleveland when the man who fired him moved the team who bears his name to Baltimore.

Paul Eugene Brown.

He set standards for the sport of football at every level, innovated in ways that are part of the game to this day, and was far ahead of his time.

Paul Eugene Brown was the son of a railroad dispatcher who was known for his precision, and the apple did not fall far from the tree.

Brown was the quarterback at Massillon High School, went to Ohio State, realized he was not big enough to handle major college football, and transferred to Miami of Ohio, graduating with a B.A. in education. Later, Brown would get his M.A. in education from Ohio State.

Paul Brown, after graduating Miami of Ohio and coaching at a Maryland prep school, went back to his high school alma mater as head coach at the age of 23. In his nine years as head coach, the Tigers went 80-8-2, winning 35 games in a row along with six consecutive Ohio high school football championships.

From Massillon, he became head coach at Ohio State, bringing the Buckeyes their first national championship in 1942. At Ohio State, he was known as “Precision Paul,” as his teams were known for speed, discipline and controlled aggression.

Wartime found Brown commissioned as a Navy lieutenant, and from 1944-45, he coached a Great Lakes Naval Station team that played NCAA competition, compiling a record of 15-5-2 with what was essentially a military pickup team.

At the end of World War II, although having an open invitation to return to coach the Buckeyes, Brown pursued a new venture.

The Cleveland Rams were leaving town for Los Angeles, and Arthur B. (Mickey) McBride wanted to launch a startup team in the new All America Football Conference.

For a share of ownership and control of football operations, Paul Eugene Brown was in as the first head coach of a team that bears his name.

Brown wanted no part of having the team named after him, but the suggested names “Bulldogs” and “Panthers” were already copyrighted.

The AAFC may not have its records recognized as the original AFL does because the Browns simply dominated the league, winning all four of that league’s championships before it folded.

Form the original AAFC, the Colts, 49ers and Browns survive.

Why is the game not the same without Paul Brown? Without his innovations, we’d never know football as it is, and we’d be poorer for it.

What were Paul Brown’s innovations that created the game we know today?

• Brown was the first head coach to give his prospective players intelligence tests.

• Brown was the first to integrate professional football, prior to Branch Rickey and Jackie Robinson integrating baseball.

In 1946, Brown put fullback Marion Motley and defensive lineman Bill Willis on his squad, and both have busts in the Professional Football Hall of Fame in Canton.

• Brown was the first coach to have his players wear facemasks.

• Brown was the first to have his players undergo classroom instruction on the professional level.

• Brown was also the first professional football head coach to use film study.

• What we now know as the “practice squad” in the NFL was begun by Brown and McBride, who owned a cab company, as the “taxi squad.”

Players who did not make the final roster cut, but might be able to fill in in the case of injury, drove cabs for McBride. Generations later, Clevelanders still call the practice squad the “taxi squad.”

• And finally, the commonplace radio helmet for quarterbacks was experimented with by Brown in the preseason of 1956.

In the days of vacuum tubes and shortwave, it did not work too well and Brown scrapped it, but nonetheless, the NFL banned it. No sense in giving Brown another advantage.

Brown’s final record in Cleveland was 167-53-8, including four AAFC championships and three NFL championships.

After a record of 7-6-1 in 1962, new owner Art Modell, who had authority clashes with Brown previously, fired Brown January 9, 1963, when both the Cleveland Press and the Plain Dealer were on strike.

Long before The Move, older Clevelanders cursed Modell and swore the Browns would never see another championship. 

Firing Paul Brown was one thing. Doing it in the midst of a newspaper strike, where the firing would barely be covered, was another. 

The old men were correct, save for Blanton Collier winning one in 1964 with Brown’s players.

Paul Brown’s coaching tree also is the tallest with the deepest roots in the NFL, but that’s for another article.

For now, in this most wonderful time of the year, when you see your old high school play, your college play or your favorite NFL team play, think of Paul Brown.

Without Paul Brown, you would not be seeing football as it is.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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