The NFL Fourth Quarter Report: The Colts Should Have Went for It

Topics of this Article

A. NFL Playoff Preview

B. Poking Fun at my NFL Preview

C. The Colts

D. Gratuitous Self-Promotion of my 70th Article

To wit…

This is my 70th article and a lot of stuff is going on so I tried a new kind of opening..

Paragraphs, we don’t need no stinking paragraphs.

 

The Five Worst Teams in the NFL

1. Detroit
2. Kansas City
3. Cincin-cinncin-cinsin-the Bengals
4. Cleveland (this is my team, but these dawgs will not have their day)
5. St. Louis

This is straight from my NFL Preview. I missed on Cincinnati (I did it:). Now the other teams have shown promise but for the most part have been awful.

 

Teams With No Shot at the Super Bowl

6. Denver
7. Tampa Bay
8. San Francisco
9. New York Jets
10. Jacksonville

I said that none of these teams could make it past their conference championship games. Now two of those teams still have playoff hopes, so I figure I can start the playoff preview right now.

The Bengals go to the Meadowlands for the final game there against the Jets. If the Jets win, they are in. The Bengals are already in and can earn the third seed with a win, coupled with a Patriots loss to Houston.

The Bengals can knock a team out of the playoffs, and I have been picking against the Jets for the majority of the year. Look for an inspired Bengal team to run over the Jets. The Jets will be a playoff team next year, but they will miss the playoffs this season.

Denver’s 6-0 start turned out to be huge, as they have gone 2-7 since. Denver was an 8-8 team last year, and they are not better than they were last year. Kansas City has been playing better and will end the Broncos’ season with a win.

 

Division Winners

11. Phila-Philla-Philadelf-Philly-The Eagles
12. Green Bay
13. Carolina
14. Arizona
15. New England
16. Pittsburgh
17. Indyan-Indianap-Indiapol-The Colts
18. San Diego

I will take five out of eight because Philadelphia will win in Dallas to take the NFC East. I missed on the Vikings over the Packers. I went with the Panthers instead of the Saints, and that looks real bad now. I am glad to be wrong about Pittsburgh since I hate them so much.

Of course, Pittsburgh will beat Miami to give themselves a chance to make the playoffs.

 

Wild-Card Teams

19. New York Giants
20. Brett Favre, er, Minnesota
21. Tennessee
22. Oakland

I am 0-4 here. I usually get six out of 12 for my picks and that is where I am at this season. I can’t believe I bought into the Raiders—that was way off. The Titans made a nice comeback after a dreadful 0-6 start; whereas, the Giants had a dreadful end after a 5-0 start.

The Vikings are gunning for the two seed, but their swoon will continue in a loss to the Giants.

 

Why These Teams Won’t Make the Playoffs

23. Dallas — Wade Phillips (wrong)
24. Chicago — Jay Cutler  (right)
25. New Orleans — Defense (wrong)
26. Atlanta — I might be wrong about them (I was right)
27. Seattle — Injuries (right)
28. Miami — They won’t be as good as they were last year (right)
29. Buffalo — T.O. (wrong, it wasn’t T.O.’s fault)
30. Baltimore — I hate them like poison (wrong)
31. Houston — I picked them the last two years, and they let me down (right)
32. Washington — A good team in the toughest division in the NFL (wrong, they weren’t a good team)

Baltimore will beat Oakland to make the playoffs. Houston will lose to the Patriots and be 8-8 like they always are.

I like how in my 70th article anything goes, hope you are liking that as well. How about that Raiders pick? Wow, that was a stinker.

In my own way, I have come to the playoff preview topic I mentioned in my odd opening. Through the muddy picks from before the season, I have assembled these playoff teams and seeds:

 

AFC

1. Colts

2. Chargers

3. Patriots

4. Bengals

5. Ravens

6. Steelers

 

NFC

1. Saints

2. Eagles

3. Vikings

4. Cardinals

5. Packers

6. Cowboys

Here were my picks for the playoffs before the season started:

 

Wild-Card Weekend

Green Bay over Minnesota
New York Giants over Arizona
Pittsburgh over Oakland
San Diego over Tennessee

 

Divisional Weekend

Philly over New York Giants
Carolina over Green Bay
New England over Pittsburgh
Indy over San Diego

 

Championship Sunday

Philly over Carolina
New England over Indy

 

Super Bowl XLIV 

Philly over New England

Cheese steaks for everyone as the chowder turns red.

This is how it will really go:

 

Wild-Card Weekend

Dallas over Minnesota
Green Bay over Arizona
New England over Pittsburgh
Cincinnati over Baltimore

 

Divisional Weekend

Philly over Green Bay
New Orleans over Dallas
New England over San Diego
Indy over Cincinnati

 

Championship Sunday

Philly over New Orleans
New England over Indy

 

Super Bowl XLIV

Philly over New England

Cheese steaks for everyone as the chowder turns red. 

The Colts and Patriots have mirrored each other for a decade now. Championship organizations, Hall of Fame quarterbacks, and excellent coaching. The only tried and tested way to beat either team is to keep their HOF QB on the sideline, and, when he is in, you have to hit him over and over again.

The Colts have been here before, and, when they let up in the past, they lost in the playoffs. The risks are great and the starters were pulled with a lead. Still, two games away from a perfect season, it is tough to leave the ball in Curtis Painter’s hands.

Jim Caldwell would be better served to play his starters into the fourth quarter next week in Buffalo. Peyton Manning is protected by his line, led by Jeff Saturday. The weather will be brutal, so the running game with Joseph Addai and Donald Brown can carry the load.

Dwight Freeney and Robert Mathis are still getting back into shape from injuries and could use the reps. The bye week is time to rest, not during the season. The Colts will need to stay sharp, as the AFC is loaded with tough teams.

The Patriots dominated the regular season matchup and will shock the Colts on their way to the Super Bowl.

The Eagles are playing their best ball and will need a full game to get by the Saints in New Orleans.

The Eagles will finally bring the Lombardi Trophy to Philadelphia, just like I said before the season started.

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Dallas Cowboys: How They Went to New Orleans and Saved Their Season

On December 28, 1996, the Dallas Cowboys beat the Minnesota Vikings in the Wild Card Round of the NFL Playoffs.

On December 19, 2009, the Dallas cowboys finally won another big game. It was a regular season game in New Orleans against the Saints. Roy Williams told us all that this was going to be a two round fight and as a nation we all laughed. We all felt like the Cowboys had no chance to save their season by beating the undefeated Saints.

The Dallas Cowboys proved us all wrong as they won a huge game in December, their month of horrors since their dynasty ended in the mid 1990’s.

The problem with the Cowboys, for years now, has been their owner. Jerry Jones likes to be in control. I mean, have you seen the size of his stadium? He tried to be the man and build his roster while employing coaches like Chan Gailey and Dave Campo.

Jones watched as his franchise sank further and further from the heights attained when Jimmy Johnson and Barry Switzer won three out of four Super Bowls in the mid 90’s.

Jerry Jones swallowed his Texas sized ego and hired Bill Parcells. Parcells eye for talent helped turn the Cowboys roster into a formidable collection of elite talent. Parcells did such a good job with the roster that the Cowboys still have elite talent a few years after Parcells left.

The coaching staff, led by Wade Phillips, seemed to be the problem with the Cowboys. The talent on the field, led by DeMarcus Ware and Tony Romo, peaked in November and played bad football in December.

All of that brings us to New Orleans. The Cowboys came out with their hair on fire, scoring 14 first quarter points. It gave them a lead that they never let go of.

You have to give a lot of credit to the game plan going into the game. That means that you have to give credit to the underachieving coaching staff, as they stepped up with a great strategy to win a pivotal football game in their season.

The Cowboy defense held the Saints to a one-for-seven clip on third down conversions. That stat led to the Cowboys dominating the time of possession and kept the Saints offense on the sidelines for over 36 minutes. Marion Barber led the running backs in rushing and that is crucial when playing with a lead.

That was how the Dallas Cowboys saved their season in New Orleans, they won the game the only the way they could: get a quick lead, smother the Saints offense, and keep them off of the field. They controlled the clock and, even though the Cowboys did all of the above to perfection, they still had to hold on for the win.

The Saints might not be undefeated anymore but they are still very good. They had the ball late and were looking for the tie when DeMarcus Ware forced Drew Brees to fumble the ball.

So now the Dallas Cowboys can look toward the playoffs with a renewed confidence. They have two games left against NFC East rivals Washington and Philadelphia. Splitting those games would make them 10-6 and give them the sixth seed in the NFC playoffs.

The Cowboys also knocked the Giants out of the playoffs with their epic win in New Orleans. Now the struggling Giants have to win out to even have a chance at the post season. So Cowboy fans can find even more pleasure in this win.

I still think that the Cowboys should get rid of Wade Phillips after the season. He is their weak link. The problem for Cowboy fans is that Jerry Jones wants to win in a way where he can take most of the credit and having a coach like Wade allows him to take a lot of credit.

The Cowboys might win a playoff game or two this year but they are not a Super Bowl team. With the talent they have, a great coach can turn this same team into a juggernaut next year.

I guess it is a blessing and a curse to have an owner like Jerry Jones.

 

 

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The Green Bay Fog: The Gunslinger Returns To Lambeau

Curly Lambeau coached his last game in 1949. He might still recognize the field the game is played on but the game on the field is so different than it was 60 years ago.

Could you imagine Lambeau dealing with the hype machine that is coming to town as the Gunslinger returns?

Brett Favre has played in two eras of the NFL. The NFC dominant years of the Cowboys, 49ers and Packers and the AFC dominant years of the Patriots and Colts. Favre could have also been on the first team that Curly Lambeau coached in 1921.

When the Packers went to Minnesota for their first meeting, the best player on the field was Jared Allen. The Packers contained Adrian Peterson and dared Brett Favre to beat them and that was what he did.

The Packers had some flaws in their gameplan that they can improve upon for the game on Sunday in Green Bay. Aaron Kampman was put into coverage far too often so he should be rushing the quarterback more. The Packer offensive line gave up eight sacks. The Packers were in the spread far too often and that exposed their mismatch against the Minnesota defensive line.

The Steelers slowed down Peterson and that forced Favre to throw the ball. He was strip sacked for one touchdown return and overthrew a screen pass by less than a foot for another defensive touchdown for Pittsburgh.

No one remembers how dangerous a screen pass can be until they see the back of a 250 pound linebacker in the middle of a bunch of other defensive players.

The Green Bay fog will lift after this game. The Packers will have finished playing their former icon. The fog will not return if the two meet in the playoffs for the playoffs are a dragon of a different scale.

The schedule was kind to the Packers as they went 4-2 through the fog left in the wake of Brett Favre’s return to the NFC North. The return of the Gunslinger to Lambeau will clear a lot of things up.

Minnesota can take control of the NFC North with a win. The Packers can pull to within a half-game of the Vikings with a win. That is the big picture. The small picture is fuzzy for all sorts of reasons that this game should put into focus.

Is the Packer offensive line playoff caliber?

How important is Antoine Winfield to the Minnesota secondary?

Can the Packers defense slow down Adrian Peterson for two games in a row?

Here are things that are not fuzzy to me. The Packers have the right quarterback in place. Ted Thompson and Mike McCarthy made the right choice when Brett Favre first got that itch after his first retirement.

Brett Favre is now a legit game manager with the ability to make plays when needed. The NFL is so close from team to team that he has only had one bad quarter but that was enough to give them their first loss last week.

If the Packers can make Favre throw the ball enough then Charles Woodson or Al Harris will make a play.

The teams are even and it will come down to who has the ball last. Look for Aaron Rodgers to have the ball last in Lambeau Field.

Green Bay 24

Minnesota 23

 

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NFL First Quarter Report: The Winners, The Losers and The Raiders

With the bye weeks already starting, my quarter report might seem to be a week late. My excuse is that I wanted to wait until all 32 teams played their first four games, but we all know what excuses are like.

The Indianapolis Colts have seamlessly transitioned from Tony Dungy to Jim Caldwell. Peyton Manning being a coach on the field and Dwight Freeney having six sacks in five games makes both sides of the ball very strong. Manning, Freeney and great draft picks have been the constants of the Colts. This year’s first round pick, Donald Brown, looks like a real stud.

The Colts are the best of the A teams (insert BA Baracus joke here) and here are the others:

The Giants, Saints, Vikings and Broncos.

The surprise here are the Denver Broncos as they has a turmoil filled off-season. Josh McDaniels has been very solid and Kyle Orton has been a great game manager.

The AFC North has three B teams in The Steelers, the Bengals and the Ravens. Pittsburgh has dominated all five games they have played. Losses to the Bears and the Bengals came as they missed a few plays on offense and their defense couldn’t hold leads. The Bengals could be 5-0 if not for the Immaculate Deflection against the Broncos.

That play by Brandon Stokley is the only play from the first five weeks to have a name.

The other B teams are the Bears, Eagles, Patriots, and Falcons.

The surprise here are the Bengals. Carson Palmer is back from his injuries and leading his team like an elite QB.

The C teams still have a chance at making the playoffs. The Chargers and Cowboys both have great talent and coordinators acting as their head coaches in Norv Turner and Wade Phillips. A combination that led to average first quarter of the seasons for both teams. The Packers have looked better on defense this season and should still push the Vikings and Bears for the NFC North. The Texans and Jaguars have both looked good and bad, a true sign of mediocrity.

The top three teams in the NFC West are the 49ers, Cardinals and Seahawks and all three have looked good at times and bad at times. It could be a three team race all year long with the first to become consistent becoming the team to beat.

I like to watch the Dolphins because I love the Wildcat. It is not a gimmick when Ronnie Brown is getting the snap. A tough schedule has Miami at 2-3 but they are still close to the Patriots and Jets.

Washington is a mess right now. John Riggins is still classic and that is bad news for Jim Zorn. Unlike the Colts, who have built from within, Washington’s owner Dan Snyder has brought in talent through the free agent market. Except for the quarterback position, where they have stuck with draft pick Jason Campbell despite his lack of growth as the leader of the team.

So while the Colts and Peyton Manning have been a playoff team since the late ’90s, Washington is now a D team in danger of failing.

My pick to win the NFC South, Carolina, is a D team along with Detroit.

Kansas City is heading in the right direction but their loos to the Raiders makes them the worst failing team so far. The Rams might be more pathetic but they haven’t played the Raiders.

My team the Browns are failing; in fact, their win over the Bills set the NFL back 15 years. Derek Anderson completed two passes and their best player was the punter.

The other F teams are the Bills, Titans and Buccaneers. Here is the excitement for these teams:

Bills-TO’s 185 game catch streak is over and Dick Jauron might be fired. Titans-Vince Young might play. Buccaneers-Josh Freeman might play.

And then there are the Raiders. A team that has played one good half of football this season. The team looks like they haven’t practiced together in months. JaMarcus Russell wasn’t just a first round pick, he was the first pick of the draft and he is having trouble completing passes.

The Raiders aren’t just failing, they are making the NFL a 31 team league.

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It’s Nifty When You’re at 50: My Five Favorite Articles

George Blanda is what the Raiders are missing. A versatile Quarterback/Kicker type. Now that the odd choice of article photo has been explain, it’s time to talk about me.

I always think that my best article is my most recent article. To wit, your reading gold right now.

For my 50th article I’m going to call this article: My Sixth Favorite.

Begin Slideshow

The Green Bay Fog: There’s No Fool Like an Old Fool

On October 10th, Brett Favre will turn 40 years old. In the grand scheme, Favre is still a young man since 40 is the new 30 or some nonsense like that.

In football years, Favre is an old dog up to his old tricks. Just ask the 49ers, who watched the old dog snatch a victory from the jaws of defeat in week three.

The roller coaster ride that has been Brett Favre’s career the last few years makes me believe the old adage that there is no fool like an old fool. Unable to make a decision, making decisions out of spite and somehow getting what he wanted all seem to be results of the numerous blows to the head he has taken over his career.

Now Favre is about to lead his new team, the Minnesota Vikings, into a grudge match with his old team, the Green Bay Packers for a made for TV event next Monday night.

The Green Packers, with coach Mike McCarthy and QB Aaron Rodgers, have seemed to be in a fog so far this season. Four INTs by Jay Cutler helped them win their opener. The Bengals scored 31 points on them in a week two loss and a game against the Rams is good for any team lost in a fog.

The fog will lift on Monday in Minnesota. The Packers will finally play their old player who has been gunning for them ever since they had the nerve to believe that he wanted to retire. 

Both Favre and the Packers moved on. Favre went 9-7 in New York and the Packers went 6-10 thanks to a bad defense last year. Favre has been learning his role with the Vikings and gone 3-0 during that process. The Packers rode through the fog to be 2-1 for this game.

Al Harris and Charles Woodson are both looking forward to Monday Night. They are ball hawks who must be dreaming about picking off Favre. Aaron Campman is probably dreaming about a three sack game. Defensive coach Dom Capers is probably dreaming about shutting down Adrian Peterson and making Favre have to beat them.

All of Green Bay is dreaming of a W.

Brett Favre is dreaming about taking his old team to the woodshed.

The game being in Minnesota is a factor but these two teams have played each other so often that the notion of home field advantage is overrated. The first quarter will be big for both teams. You can’t win the game in the first quarter but you can sure lose it.

This should be a classic NFL Monday Night game and I am going with the Packers. They will make the Vikings one dimensional and Al Harris, Charles Woodson, and Aaron Campman will all have their dreams come true.

The old fool has what he wants and let the bitterness begin when the storybook ending eludes him the first time around.

It will get even worse the second time around when he goes to Green Bay.

Packers 26

Vikings 17

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The Big NFL Week Three Preview

The third week of the NFL Season is the first really important game. 

The 2-0 teams can go to 3-0.  The 1-1 teams can go above or below .500.  And the 0-2 teams are in must-win mode. 

Kansas City goes to Philadelphia in a must win game for both.  At 1-1, the Eagles need to beat a bad 0-2 KC squad.  Both teams are having QB issues due to injuries.  Philly has three Pro-Bowl QBs and Kevin Kolb.  KC has Matt Cassel and the 0-9 Brody Croyle. 

Philly wins by 10.

 

The Packers visit the Rams in another must-win game for both teams.  At 1-1, Green Bay is coming off a bad loss to the Bengals.  At 0-2, St. Louis has scored just seven points all season. 

Green Bay by 20.

 

Atlanta goes to New England in what should be a great game.  Matt Ryan should like his chances this time around against the defensive schemes of Bill Belichick. 

There is a big buzz about the Patriots and their “problems.”  They are a shaky 1-1 but with Tom Brady, Randy Moss, and a healthy Wes Welker they will be fine.  The running game with Fred Taylor and the defense will come together in time for another 12-win season. 

Patriots by 3.

 

Miami goes to San Diego in a must win-game for both.  Miami ran a perfect game plan on Monday night and still lost to Payton Manning and the Colts.  San Diego is one drive away from being 0-2.  Look for the Chargers’ defense to have their best game of the year.  The Dolphins wildcat offense is a lot of fun to watch. 

San Diego by 4.

 

The Steelers and Bengals are both 1-1 as they meet in Paul Brown Stadium.  Both teams should be 2-0, except for missed field goals and miraculous catches.  This is a chance for the Bengals to have a good season with a win at home against the Steelers…too bad they’re the Bengals.

Pittsburgh by 10.

 

The Colts go to Phoenix in what should be a great game against the Cardinals.  Kurt Warner and Larry Fitzgerald look to be back on the same page, so the Colts’ defense could be on the field for three quarters again. 

Arizona by 3.

 

Carolina goes to Dallas for a Monday Night Game.  Two struggling QBs will meet under that gigantic scoreboard.  I look for both Tony Romo and Jake Delhomme to have good games and the Carolina punter to hit the scoreboard. 

Dallas by 5.

 

Teams in must-win mode:

Washington needs to beat Detroit so Jim Zorn can cool down his hot seat.  Detroit needs to beat Washington because they’ve lost 19 straight.

Detroit by 3.

 

The Titans need a win in the meadowlands against the Jets.  The Titans’ defense should dominate the Jets’ rookie QB.  I mean, Mark Sanchez is going to lose some day, right? 

Tennessee by 10.

 

Jay Cutler and the Bears need to win against the beat up Seahawks in Seattle.

Chicago by 6.

 

Other noble games:

San Francisco at Minnesota.

Look for the Viking to go 3-0.

 

New Orleans at Buffalo.

Look for the Saints to go 3-0.

 

 

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A 2009 NFL Season Preview

It’s that magical time of the year when, as the immortal George Carlin once quipped, “Everything is dying.”

That’s right NFL fans, the national pastime is back.

Right now, everyone’s picks are right…Except for mine. I seem, as smart as I am, to get five of the 12 playoff teams right every year. Yet, I keep on picking. 

It is the parity of the NFL that I blame for my shoddy pickings. This season there are only five teams with no chance of making it to the playoffs. Here is the first list of my 2009 NFL shoddy pickings:

The Five Worst Teams in the NFL

1. Detroit
2. Kansas City
3. Cincin-cinncin-cinsin-the Bengles
4. Cleveland (this is my team, but these dawgs will not have their day)
5. St. Louis

Okay, I have 27 teams left. Let’s see if I can’t get rid of a few more. So here is the second list of my 2009 yada, yada, yada.

Teams with no shot at the Super Bowl

6. Denver
7. Tampa Bay
8. San Francisco
9. New York Jets
10. Jacksonville

The good news, if you’re a fan of one of these teams, they could all get as far as the Conference Championship Game.  But, as Tim Allen’s sidekick on Tool Time often quipped,  “I don’t think so, Tim.”  For the purposes of this quip I’ll play the role of Tim. 

Now that we have come to the end of the humor section of my 2009 you know the rest (if you didn’t laugh, then it was just an introduction), so now it is time to talk about some winners.

Division Winners

11. Phila-Philla-Philadelf-Philly-The Eagles
12. Green Bay
13. Carolina
14. Arizona
15. New England
16. Pittsburgh
17. Indyan-Indianap-Indiapol-The Colts
18. San Diego

You notice there are no records next to the teams because they’re shoddy enough.

Wild Card Teams

19. New York Giants
20. Brett Favre, er, Minnesota
21. Tennessee
22. Oakland

So 11-22 are my playoff teams.  I am reaching with the Raiders because of their talent on the field and their coach is literally cracking skulls.

Why these Teams won’t make the Playoffs

23. Dallas — Wade Phillips
24. Chicago — Jay Cutler
25. New Orleans — Defense
26. Atlanta — I might be wrong about them
27. Seattle — Injuries
28. Miami — They won’t be as good as they were last year
29. Buffalo — T.O.
30. Baltimore — I hate them like poison
31. Houston — I picked them the last two years, and they let me down
32. Washington — A good team in the toughest division in the NFL

My Greatest Hope for the Season

The Browns go to the Super Bowl.

My more Realistic Hope for the Season

Green Bay beats Minnesota twice (three times, if they meet in the playoffs).

Tom Brady doesn’t have his season end in the first quarter (because even though I really hate New England it would mess up my already shoddy picks).

Wild Card Weekend

Green Bay over Minnesota
New York Giants over Arizona
Pittsburgh over Oakland
San Diego over Tennessee

Divisional Weekend

Philly over New York Giants
Carolina over Green Bay
New England over Pittsburgh
Indy over San Diego

Championship Sunday

Philly over Carolina
New England over Indy

Super Bowl XLIV (XLIIII)

Philly over New England

Cheese steaks for everyone as the chowder turns red. 

The Worst Talking Heads In Sports

ESPN has a lot of time to fill between their numerous channels and a 24-hour radio station. They do employ most of the worst talking heads in sports, but that is due to the volume of their staff.

Skip Bayless, whose head you see at the top of this article, is a painfully average analyst with an assortment of unique takes.

He is so far out in left-field with a lot of his takes that his main forum, ESPN2’s First Take, actually created a way to slam Skip on their website.

Skip Bayless has to do the most talking on this list simply because he is always defending his stance on people like LeBron James and Tiger Woods. Recently he called Hank Aaron “wrong-headed.” A clear case of the pot calling out the kettle.

Chuck Booms was a rare miss employed by Fox Sports Radio. An absolute disgrace to talk radio’s format of opinion-driven shows, Chuck Booms has been fired twice by Fox Sports and has not been heard of for some time.

This has-been is still on my list of worst talking heads because of an on-air meltdown he had one Sunday evening a few years ago.

It was over, of all things, the latest Superman movie and it was an epic meltdown that seems to have kept him off of the airwaves ever since.

Colin Cowherd is a brutal morning host on ESPN radio. He uses odd analogies to express himself and half of the time his guests contradict his well thought-out, albeit hard to understand, alliterative takes. Shockingly, he is now the host of SportsNation, so ESPN has decided to give him more airtime.

Scott Van Pelt, to use a Cowherd analogy, is like a character in an Elmore Leonard novel. Like George Clooney in “Out of Sight” and Samuel L. Jackson in “Jackie Brown,” Van Pelt talks tough and you keep hoping that something bad will happen to him.

Clooney wound up in jail and Jackson wound up shot in the head and those extremes I do not wish upon Van Pelt.

Maybe ESPN could just give him the old Chuck Booms treatment.

Mike Golic was educated at Notre Dame. He is the jock in the tag team of Mike and Mike in the Morning with Mike Greenberg acting as the fan.

After a long career in the NFL, the number of blows to the head is evident in the dim-witted Golic. On occasion, Golic will come across as a bully to the smaller and smarter Greenberg.

Anyone who has the NFL Network and has heard Bryant Gumbel do play-by-play knows that he is not good at it. An eloquent thinker on his HBO Real Sports Show, none of that charisma comes across as he stumbles and stammers through a game telecast.

The inverse apex came when he wished Chris Collinsworth a happy holiday season and Collinsworth did not even feign a cordial wish in return.

It was as awkward as a Skip Bayless take using a Colin Cowherd analogy.

Tiki Barber pushes the envelope on NBC’s Football Night in America. His problem is that he sets out to do that, so it comes off as a smug attempt to use big words.

Kinda like my Bryant Gumbel paragraph from earlier.

Tiki was critical of Eli Manning, and Manning, who usually does not engage the media, spoke critically of Tiki in return. Then the Giants went and won the Super Bowl the year after Barber retired.

The CBS NFL Pre-game Show is full of quality guys, well not so much Boomer Esiason, but the whole is much less than the sum of its parts in this case.

CBS seems to try to capture the synergy that the Fox Pre-game Show has, going so far as to hire James Brown away from Fox to host their show. Yet they fall on their collective faces each and every week before a national TV audience.

This collection of worst talking heads do succeed in one area. They make sports fans like myself feel that they might have a chance to be a talking head in sports one day.

Perhaps one day, I will make the worst list of sports talking heads on some hack writer’s Internet forum.

Shoot, some of the comments I have received here at Bleacher Report were not subtle in their distaste for the stuff I write and like Skip Bayless, I pounded my palms on the desk and wrote a ton of words to defend my stance on the Raiders, Mike Vick, this year’s NBA free agents and the BCS.

To end this worst of articles on a positive note, my favorite song by the Talking Heads is Burning Down the House. I also like the song from Down and Out in Beverly Hills, although I didn’t like the movie too much.

Steve McNair: 1973-2009

Steve McNair was the prototype 21st century NFL quarterback. 

He had the foot speed and elusive moves to dodge the 300 pound defensive linemen that came at him. 

He had the cannon arm to hit his receivers.

And he had the toughness.

Steve McNair was mentally tough enough to will his body through all of its physical ailments. Head, shoulders, knees, and toes plus a sternum would be on his list of injuries. Every Sunday, however, McNair was out there doing his job to the best of his ability.

Many football fans, most of whom are good at their jobs, loved to watch Steve McNair do his job.  

Steve McNair suffered a fatal personal tragedy. 

For a man who grew up in the limelight, the end of his life is contradictory to how he lived it.

A quiet, dignified life was cut short in an explosion of violence.

And it is none of our business.

We are able to watch sport stars because of the television contract that comes with their job. Other than that, we do not know these players off of the field. 

We get reports from reporters and it fills in the blanks of what some of the players do away from the field, but that is not knowing them either.

I would have liked to have met Steve McNair and I can’t say that for a majority of celebrities. 

I would like to know what Steve McNair thought about his cover of Sports Illustrated when they picked a player from Alcorn State to win the Heisman Trophy.

I wonder what he thought when he let go of the ball that Kevin Dyson took within a yard of tying the Super Bowl.

I wonder what he would say if I thought he was a Hall of Fame player. The Hall of Fame might be driven by numbers but who was better at leading a team than Steve McNair?

This is not an article to promote Steve McNair for the Hall of Fame. It is not an article to speculate on his final moment of life for that is simply not our business.

We were lucky enough to watch Steve McNair do his job and that does not entitle us to speculate on any part of his private life. 

It is an article of sadness. Steve McNair inspired and entertained me like few others have and I was never able to thank him for that. There is also sadness because Steve McNair has become a story because of the way our society operates.

Maybe I am lucky though. I can only imagine what it would have been like to have known him and then lost him.     

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