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Parity In The NFL: A Floating Ball

Published: November 2, 2009

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The Parity Balloon

 

The idea that parity is an integral facet of the National Football League is one that many of the league’s followers often discuss. Roughly speaking, the idea of parity is not that all teams are created equal, but rather the differences between them are less rather than more, that 0-0 at the beginning of September means the field is wide open.

 

In practical terms, parity is often taken to mean that a) anything can happen on “any given Sunday,” and b) there will always be at least one team that comes out of nowhere to contend. In some quarters, it can be taken to mean that c) everyone finishes in reasonable proximity to 8-8, a bottleneck scenario where the playoff permutations are myriad. The fact that the Oakland Raiders recently defeated the Philadelphia Eagles supports a) and the fact that Denver, Cincinnati and the Saints have followed forgettable performances last year with great starts this season supports b).

 

But the case for parity this year is much more difficult to make than we have seen for some time. Very little, in fact, supports c). The parity balloon, as I call it, is about to feel the sharp point of a pin.  Here’s why: looking at the standings through eight weeks of play, the top five teams in the league have a combined record of  31-4, impressive to say the least. The bottom five teams, conversely, are only a dismal 4-33, a stat made even worse when you consider that all wins by the worst five teams have come against weaker teams, including Tennessee’s drubbing of Jacksonville yesterday. St. Louis beat Detroit, and both Detroit and Kansas City beat the lowly Redskins (or deadskins as a friend calls them.)

 

Further, the top seven teams in the league have a remarkable combined record of 41-8, whereas the bottom seven tally a meagre 8-44, which includes wins mostly garnered from playing a bottom end team.  Basically these teams are bottom-feeders, which is something one is unlikely to consider endearing

 

Overall, whatever else this may be, it is not parity.  Not this year.

 

What is perhaps even more telling is that in recent weeks, the number of games that were close have dwindled noticeably as the strong seem to get stronger and the weak become more pathetic.  Last week, for the first time since week four in 2007, there was only one game decided by less than seven points. Yesterday there were two games decided by less than seven, but not one single game was decided by a field goal. This year as well, the last second game winning field goal is a kind of illusion—another parity balloon that has been lanced.

 

Yesterday, as with other weeks this season, the strong have victimized the weak in a big way: Dallas crushed Seattle and the Bears mangled Cleveland. Last week, Indianapolis bulldozed St. Louis and New England recently demolished Tennessee by a shocking 59 points. The Chargers, a team that has struggled, still managed to beat the Chiefs by 30 in Arrowhead.

 

Ultimately, if a case is to be made for parity this year, it can only reflect the teams who are vying for a wildcard spot and who perhaps have an outside shot at their division. These are teams such as Chicago, apparently Green Bay, the Dolphins, Ravens, Jets, and perhaps now the Giants and 49ers.  The idea that one of these teams could knock off a top flight team is not unthinkable—Miami has almost done it twice. But almost is not the same thing as actually doing it, and at this point, it does not seem likely that a middling team has the horsepower to make a run January like Arizona did last year.

 

This year, it seems that not unlike the Yankees in baseball, there is a definite elite class in the NFL. And the idea of league parity is a floating balloon, the kind that just keeps rising until finally it is so far away that it has disappeared from sight.

 

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Halloween Costumes for NFL Personalities

Published: October 31, 2009

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HALLOWEEN COSTUMES FOR NFL PLAYERS

 

Since today is a big day for kids and dentists worldwide, we sent our top stealth reporters to find out what some NFL players and personalities are dressing up for Halloween this year.  Among the ones we have heard from:

 

1) Ted Ginn Jr., Miami Dolphins : Ted has evidently selected a ghost costume to match his presence on the field for the Dolphins.

 

2) Bud Adams, owner, Tennessee Titans : Bud is dressing up as Vince Young since he essentially forced Jeff Fisher’s hand in starting him tomorrow against the Jaguars.

 

3) Jeff Fischer, Coach, Tennessee Titans : Jeff informs us that he is dressing up as Freddy Krueger because someone is going to get torn “a new ***hole if we don’t win soon.”

 

4) Phillip Rivers, San Diego Chargers : Phillip has chosen General George Custer arrogantly headed to clean up a mess at “Little Big Horn.”

 

5) DeSean Jackson, Philadelphia Eagles :  The Flash.

 

6) Jim Zorn, Washington Redskins : Davy Crockett, now that he got his hands on a coonskin hat.

 

7) Wade Phillips, Dallas Cowboys : Wade says he is dressing up as Andy Reid. (If he can just gobble down a few more Jimmy Dean’s pork sausages.)

 

8) Andy Reid, Philadelphia Eagles : Andy has decided to dress up as Humpty Dumpty since Pavarotti has passed away.

 

9) Chad Henne, Miami Dolphins : Chad says he is dressing up as Jon Kitna (not so subtle comparison, there).

 

10) Steve Spagnoulo, St. Louis Rams : Anything with a mask that entirely covers his head.

 

11) Brad Childress : An airline stewardess wearing heavy makeup. Oh, wait a minute. He’s already done that.

 

12) LaDainian Tomlinson, San Diego Chargers : The Invisible Man.

 

13) Larry Johnson, Kansas City Chiefs : Harvey Milk.

 

14) Eli Manning, New York Giants : Big brother Peyton (his stats are better).

 

15) and finally, Jay Cutler, Chicago Bears: Eb Dawson from Green Acres .

 

 

Happy Halloween.

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How the San Diego Chargers Might Become the Tennessee Titans

Published: October 31, 2009

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Here’s a scary thought for Halloween : the San Diego Chargers might be just an injury away from becoming the Tennessee Titans. Although the teams have encountered different fortunes in the won-loss department through seven weeks of the season, both teams suffer from the same malaise: a porous defense that cannot get off the field, and a defense that consistently is unable to exert pressure on the opposing quarterback.

 

In fact, both teams have a number of spooky similarities on the defensive side of the ball: the Chargers have recorded a total of 12 QB sacks, the Titans 11. The Chargers have seven picks for the season, the Titans four. But five of the Chargers’ interceptions have come against the Raiders and Kansas City. Like the Titans, they have very few against decent teams.

 

Not only have both teams struggled to exert pressure on the opposing quarterbacks, but they also have an extremely difficult time getting off the field on third down; before last week, the Chargers ranked near the bottom of the league in that department along with the Titans.

 

Where a discernible difference is noted, however, is that the Chargers are particularly bad against the run, averaging a ghastly 135 ypg allowed, whereas the Titans secondary have played like phantoms, allowing 19 passing TDs to date. Different problems, same result.  Yet, the Chargers secondary has not done particularly well, either, as evidenced by the sudden termination of starting safety Clinton Hart, and the demotion of nickel back Antoine Cason. And, if the Chargers pass defense looks much healthier than the Titans, it is in part due to the sieve run defense that San Diego fields every Sunday.

 

Of course, there are other similarities: both teams bemoan the loss of a premier defensive tackle; Albert Haynesworth via free agency in Tennessee, and Jamaal Williams in San Diego through a nightmarish season ending injury. These losses appear to be immeasurable, particularly in San Diego, where a cadre of replacements struggle to fill the shadow left by Williams.

 

So, if the Chargers and Tennessee are really this close in performance,  the question becomes: Why is San Diego 3-3 and the Titans winless? The great difference maker, of course, is that the Chargers have a thoroughly competent quarterback in Phillip Rivers, and two game changing receivers in Vincent Jackson and Antonio Gates. (I would add that Malcolm Floyd is emerging as a receiver with game changing abilities, but his numbers are a little thin so far.)

 

In addition, the Chargers have benefited from some special team magic from Darren Sproles, who has a knack for making great runbacks when the team needs one most.

 

But clearly Rivers is the key. Though his numbers don’t always show it, he has put the team in a position to win in virtually every game this season (we’ll exclude the debacle in Pittsburgh even though they scored three fourth quarter TDs).  And, he has done so without any running game to speak of, and an offensive line that has been inconsistent. (It doesn’t tax our memories too much to recall the 4th-and-2 in the Baltimore game where Ray Lewis stuffed Sproles inside the Ravens twenty, or last week, where LT failed to penetrate the endzone repeatedly against the Chiefs.

 

Inside the red zone, the Chargers are a one dimensional team. Pass, or bring on Nate Kaeding. Outside the red zone, the same: pass, or punt.

 

The Titans have the opposite problem: Healthy Chris Johnson has rushed for 596 yards, averaging 6.3 yards per carry. Critics point out that Johnson’s numbers benefit from a few wild scampers, that he is often stuffed at the point of attack. That may be true, but I would take his numbers over 40th ranked Tomlinson, (who, incidentally is referred to as Shaun Tomlinson in our house, or Ladainain Alexander.)

 

Back to Rivers. Fifth in the league in passing yards with 1787, but really he is second because Brady, Schaub, and Roethlisberger all have a game in hand. Only Peyton Manning has a better yards per game average than Rivers, who is a hair short of 300 YPG, and also only because Chris Chambers has forgotten how to catch. Rivers has 10 passing touchdowns, which is admittedly pedestrian, but it must be hard to boost that stat without a credible running attack, and also difficult spending most of your time on the sidelines watching the defense falter on third-and-anything.

 

Rivers is the difference. A season ending injury launches Billy Volek into the starting gate, and that, my friends, is no trick or treat. That, in fact, looks very much like the Tennessee Titans.

 

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