Magazine Profile Reveals A Young But Wise Jed York

In an excellent profile in Haute Living Magazine, writer Stephanie Wilson reveals a side of Jed York that 49ers fans are anxious to learn about.

It couldn’t have come at a more opportune time in the team’s history.

After nearly a decade of mediocre teams, it is time to move on, close ranks and look to the future.

This outlook was reinforced when I was reading the team’s website today and found this teaser to Wilson’s well-written profile:

“I am here by six every morning and stay until late at night,” {York} states, “because it’s not my team. It’s not my family’s team. It’s our fans’ team. Because if they are not supporting us, if they don’t believe in what we are doing, then our team doesn’t exist.”

That quote confirms what Eddie DeBartolo Jr., York’s uncle, said about the team’s new owner/president.

When DeBartolo voiced his confidence in York, that was good enough for me, as I’ve said, and I joined the Jed York bandwagon.

After reading Wilson’s fine story, my trust in DeBartolo was well placed.

Jed York gets it.

And that is key.

York sure sounds a lot like his uncle in the late 1970s.

After all, DeBartolo definitely understood the players, most of whom loved playing for him.

He also loved the fans, as he was one himself.

The fans loved him, and most still do.

Although I do not know either gentleman personally, from a fan’s standpoint, I can see a bit of Eddie D. in Jed.

I see intelligence. I also see a commitment to excellence, and a steadfastness to see this through to the end, which will hopefully be a restoration of a period of success.

Before Eddie was incredibly successful, the 49ers Faithful, who had not abandoned the team during the down years, looked upon him with anticipation, a bit of skepticism, but with a great deal of hope.

Kind of similar with Jed.

And, as with Eddie D., skepticism will fade with success.

Eddie D. was not only successful, but he was the most successful NFL owner in history.

Although Pittsburgh has won six Lombardi Trophiesunder one family’s ownership, DeBartolo is the only single NFL owner whose team has won five Super Bowls under his or her tenure.

Matching that achievement may be unlikely in this age of the salary cap, but do not underestimate York.

Wilson’s story shows this young man has what it takes:

“Jed York was born for this role. At only 28 years old, he is the owner and president of one of the most storied and celebrated football franchises in all of the NFL.

“While that story may have been a little bruised and beaten throughout the course of the last decade, it once was a tale of greatness, one of honor and class, valor and victory. And it is this young man’s destiny to get the story—and the team—back on track.

“There are two main characters in this narrative: The players and the fans. Without both, the 49ers could not exist, so in Jed York’s mind, both have to be treated with equal importance. His job is a delicate balancing act.”

So far, advantage to York.

He has illustrated he completely understands the team’s history, the players, the fans, and the fans’ frustration.

Wilson also points out one factor about York that I believe has led to an unfair judgment—one that I am not proud to admit I made because it embarrassingly reveals a prejudice on my part.

“While it is easy to focus on the baby-faced York’s relative youth, take into consideration that he also has 28 years of experience with the 49ers.”

York has the double whammy of being young and being a young-looking 28-year-old.

Those factors have unfairly intensified fans’, wrters’ and commentators’ criticisms of him, with many pointing out his age.

I include myself as one of those wayward critics.

If you are still among the cynical, which is understandable to an extent given the team’s difficulties this decade, perhaps Wilson’s story will change your mind:

“Jed grew up in football stadiums, both in the owner’s box and in the front office. While traveling around the country with his grandfather to cheer on the team, he had full knowledge that one day he would be the one calling the shots.

“‘As a little kid, I always wanted to carry on my grandfather’s legacy. This is obviously a piece of that legacy: making sure that we return the 49ers to the prominent level that my uncle brought them to in the ’80s and ’90s.'”

Upon reading Wilson’s excellent profile, I am even more buoyed by York’s maturity, regardless of his good, young looks.

The gentleman is intelligent, football is second-nature to him, he is a fan first, and he has worked his tail off to get a new stadium.

He’s paid his dues. Now let’s reward him with our support.

If you want to learn more about York, read Wilson’s lengthy but fascinating article.

No More San Francisco 49ers Failures at QB

The stomachs of many 49ers fans are probably growling this summer as they look with uneasy anticipation at a season with the quarterback position unsettled.

Again.

This year, however, our intellects are not insulted with a repeat of last summer.

That was one of the low points in San Francisco quarterback infamy.

In fact, since our last playoff appearance, it’s best just to forget the bad run of quarterbacks who were NFL-challenged.

Well, that’s a nice way of putting it.

The San Francisco quarterback implosion has been nasty for fans who have witnessed some of the worst quarterbacks ever to take the field for this franchise.

The disaster cannot be overstated.

Just look at the 49ers record, the stats, and the fact that opposing defenses basically know they can breathe a big sigh of relief when they face the 49ers.

The pass? What’s that?

Their defensive game plan? Stop Frank Gore.

After all, we’re fortunate to get a tight end who can block, let alone catch.

We haven’t had a reliably consistent receiver for some time.

And now we have yet another new offensive coordinator.

When will this revolving door stop?

My take on that is that Mike Singletary is correct: Stability is the prime motivation, as Jimmy Raye may only be here a year or two. He’s a bridge.

Let’s hope it’s a bridge to success, not a bridge to nowhere.

At quarterback, Shaun Hill seems to have the confidence of players, yet Alex Smith is not ruled out.

Can Smith excel in combat?

Will he be the hero or the goat?

Will he justify the initial huge contract and the expensive re-signing?

This season will let us know.

No more experiments, 49ers.

It should be the last that this franchise feeds failure to its fans at the position of quarterback, if that scenario turns to be true yet again.

If that means signing a proven NFL veteran who may not be at the top of his career, it would still be an improvement.

Hopefully, Jed York and Mike Singletary are thinking the same thing, especially after their pursuit of Kurt Warner.

Brett Favre Has A Charitable Side Not Often Featured

Now that Brett Favre has decided to stay retired, the Internet will turn sluggish under the weight of the hits.

In all the stories, however, I wonder how many will focus on Brett Favre, the man.

In some communities, organizations and homes, this unbelievably long—lived NFL quarterback may be known more for his off—the—field charitable work.

On his website, For the Love of the Game, the future Hall of Famer said his Brett Favre Fourward Foundation donated more than $1.5 million to disadvantaged and disabled children in Mississippi and Wisconsin.

However, that may be a typo, because his foundation is reported by other sources to have raised more than $3 million, which is the amount listed on his wife’s part of the Web site, titled Deanna Favre Hope Foundation.

It’s unimportant because either amount is a lot of money, and as important as the money is the publicity that any Favre donation will draw.

That often means more donations by others.

His star power also brings publicity to the causes he supports, which works in society to make us all more tolerant and knowledgeable.

What isn’t known, in the end, is how much Favre’s example influences others, but I’m sure he has helped in ways he may never know.

He has devoted a lot of time to fundraising dinners and his celebrity softball tournament, in addition to other efforts.

I don’t know all of the organizations that have benefited from Favre, but they include the Back—to—School Program, Big Brothers Big Sisters, Boys & Girls Club, CASA of Brown County, Make—A—Wish Foundation, Rawhide Ranch, Special Olympics, United Cerebral Palsy, Wisconsin Whitewater, and Special Olympics.

Admittedly, Favre is a good man.

Favre’s wife, Deanna, has also done a lot of good by calling attention to a modern day plague: breast cancer.

As a young woman of only 35 years old, she was diagnosed with breast cancer, in 2004.

Deanna has used her story as an opportunity to increase awareness of breast exams, mammograms, as well as sharing a story that other women can identify with.

She has done a lot of the work for their foundation, and she is called the “rock” behind their relationship on their Web site.

Reading about her cancer, and her faith in God, it is easy to see why they have combined to form such a wonderful foundation.

I hope they can continue their work as Favre enters a new stage in his life, but I don’t think he will be out of football for long.

His passion is football and he was very good at it, some say great at it.

One way or another, he’ll be back, whether it’s on TV or in a book, or some other format.

That’s as it should be. He’s earned it.

Lastly, more important than Brett Favre the great quarterback, is Brett Favre, the good, decent man.

Terrell Owens Should Be Commended for Supporting Michael Vick

Terrell Owens’s statement that Michael Vick should play immediately should be lauded and added to by other NFL players.

In an AP article, Owens was quoted to have said:

“Why shouldn’t he? I mean, there’s a lot more guys around the league that have done far more worst things than that and gotten second chances.”

Owens was joined by Bills safety George Wilson, Buffalo’s player representative.

Wilson was also correct when he said, as quoted by AP:

“How do you bring a man out of suspension and then suspend him again? I mean, he’s paid his debt. I think you just continue to hold him down by bringing him back and then suspend him.”

This is not to excuse or minimize what Vick did.

Although I would understand an NFL-imposed continuance of Vick’s suspension, what Owens said made sense.

The reason for a continuance is quite simple.

The NFL is his employer in a sense.

Employers can and do establish personal-conduct policies.

Vick has probably already told NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell why the quarterback lied to him when allegations first surfaced.

It’s simple: human nature.

There has been enough written and said about this young man.

He paid his dues to society.

Vick should play this year.

I look forward to seeing Vick excel as a football player, but more important as a young man who has been given a second chance.

My hope is that his wealth is recaptured, so that he can do a lot of good with it.

Why?

Because I have faith in Vick.

Even though the haters don’t.

Owens should be commended for using his vast star power to address this important subject.

Wilson should also be commended for joining Owens and standing up for Vick.

Nate Davis’s ‘Learning Disability’ Is One Of His Strengths

I’ve seen a range of commentary that ranges from bizarre to pedestrian to stereotypical with the signing of Nate Davis by the 49ers. Some border on prejudicial.

Even though he has yet to take to play in an NFL game, Davis exemplifies character in a sport when character is more important ever.

Davis has already shown an ability to be successful at each stage of his football career.

And that’s no mistake, nor is it luck, or the result of slick publicity.

This kid is the real deal.

Starting as a Ball State freshman speaks not only to Davis’ physical skills, but it also shows that he has a maturity not always typical of star players.

While some fans and professional writers voice concern over Davis declaring for the NFL draft as a junior, I see his decision as a wise move.

It allows him a few years to learn the NFL game.

The 49ers were also wise in choosing him.

If he develops, Davis may surprise naysayers and become an extremely good NFL quarterback.

I would be surprised if he remained a backup, but this young man has a few years to develop.

The 49ers know how important it is to develop quarterbacks.

The franchise also knows how important backups were to its glory years.

Fans, as well as fan and professional writers, often overlook the key contributions of backups during the Joe Montana and Steve Young eras.

While Young could have been a starter when he was a backup, that’s not a necessary ingredient for a backup.

Competence and ball control are the ingredients.

With that comes preparation. That is something Davis has had success, and struggles, with.

His team’s loss in the Mid-American Conference championship to Buffalo was sobering.

However, Davis made no excuses.

In the aftermath, he noted that games are not only lost on the game-day field.

They are also lost on the practice field.

In team meetings.

In individual preparation.

In mindset; a singleness of purpose; focus.

If all pre-game variables are not operating in unison, the breakdown will be apparent.

Loss is likely.

Clearly, Davis did not lose the game against Buffalo.

It’s a team win or loss.

The officials don’t lose it for you.

You cannot help but wonder if Ball State may have been a bit overconfident with a 12-0 record and nearly everyone believing they would go 13-0.

Davis said the team should have prepared better and he included himself.

Unlike many Ball State fans and some sports writers who blamed officials’ poor calls, this young man shouldered the responsibility.

That’s character.

Davis has unfairly received criticism because of a so-called learning disability because he has noted that he is a visual learner.

Well, he is on a team where Montana spoke of the necessity of visualization, and the importance it played in his success.

In the right environment, which the ‘Niners have with Jed York and Mike Singletary, Davis could excel.

If I were able to talk to him, I would tell him to view his “disability” as a strength.

The X’s and O’s will come.

If you doubt this young man, who once thought of not attending college because of his non-mainstream way of learning, check out this quote from USA Today in December:

“I came to Ball State {on a recruiting trip}, and the first thing they took me to was the academic part. “They showed me that I really had a chance to make it through college.”

Academics was foremost on his mind.

Character.

Maturity.

Nate Charles Davis.

Why I Like Jeff Garcia But Want To See The Snot Knocked Out Of Him

When the 49ers unwisely turned their back on Jeff Garcia, I got this ache in the pit of my stomach.

It’s because I knew infamy would soon envelop this star-crossed side of the bay, where civilization can still be found.

And five Lombardis.

Compared to a pathetic 3-1 from that that grimy, crime-infested blight called Oakland.

Compared to the pathetic loser fans—whom I call Raiderettes, who keep pulling out their lousy AFL title.

It wasn’t the Super Bowl.

It don’t mean crap.

So stop bringing it up.

It’s time to get over it.

Already.

And, before you Raiderettes take me to task, let me educate you.

I have lived that dismal existence called being an Oakland resident.

Seeing that you are all so disadvantaged, and I believe in charity, and that we share something in common—I’m not proud of that, I want to help you out.

Because I pity you.

I know, I know, you have PTSD from being flunked out of Montessori—a near impossibility, but an impressive, err, distinction.

Please hear me out, you sweet souls.

My advice is to get some counseling.

It doesn’t hurt.

It should help you to unlearn bad behaviors.

We know how many you have.

But crime no longer pays, my friends.

You will have a future—if you work hard and abandon your sinful ways—of sunsets with your women.

You’ll be taught coping techniques so you can look upon your beauties despite having their beautiful smiles reveal their rotted teeth.

No longer will such, err, beauty be a distraction for you.

I, for one, feel your pain.

Plus, that’s the hazard of using storm runoff to brush your teeth.

In fact, Raiderettes, you’ll get to the point where the word “education” will no longer continue to send you into moribund sweat-covered nightmares.

I know you walk around with iPods dancing to Michael Jackson’s Thriller, but the only thing that will thrill you as you seek to redeem yourself is the fact that you don’t have to read.

That’s because of auidobooks.

See, Raiderettes, technology is your friend.

So stop riding those big, noisy motorcycles, and join the civilized world.

Hitch a ride.

I wish you good fortune, fools.

Oh, I’m supposed to educate you.

Before you hurl insults and tell me I’m prejudiced against Oakland, LET ME BE CLEAR.

(Some national leader overuses those words, but that’s another story, and you probably don’t know that because ya all cannot read. And you people only listen to religious radio, I know).

Anyway, my family once owned a home in Oakland, I lived there for about two years, and my late bro was born there.

So stick it.

Back to your man, Garcia, and why the 49ers glorious Gold Rush is going to knock the livin’ snot out of this fine American patriot.

Because of that shoppers, you better stock up because we’re headed into an era of unavailability in the East Bay.

Raiderettes—used to buying Kleenex because they have had to cry so much since 1983—will be buying all facial-type tissue from their Macy’s.

It’s called Wal-Mart.

Yeah, even in the Oakland area, they allow Raiderettes to actually shop in stores.

Accompanied by the Oakland Police Department’s SWAT team in full riot gear, of course.

I cannot say anything about the snipers—I must protect my confidential sources—on nearby roofs to make sure all is well in the parking lot.

Back to Garcia.

I can see Patrick Willis getting loose as this little fairytale begins to unfold in August.

(I don’t hold it against Raiderettes that the real Fairyland is in downtown Oakland, or that Raiderettes are prohibited from going there, along with their little misbehaved, on-a-criminal-track titans.)

That’s when the 49ers will reclaim their lost luster on the only side of the bay that matters.

Even though it’s preseason.

Yeah, I know you court jesters will tell me it’s backups who will play.

Put cheerleaders in cardinal and gold and silver and black, and it’s still war, you weasels.

Oh, that’s right, Oakland has had cheerleaders in uniform—except ALL the former 49ers, of course—since 1983, and that’s why it has lost so much.

Snot-knockin’ Willis will chase down the senior citizen imposter at your quarterback position.

I can visualize it right now.

Before Garcia is nearly decapitated, you’ll hear the tearful Raiderettes’ moans and groans.

There is nothing like hearing the groans and moans of macho men and their macho women—who shave their faces daily.

And what’s with the Raiderettes throwing former 49ers back at me?

You take pride in putting former San Francisco greats on your field as has-beens?

That’s embarrassing.

But, I know, cowardice has no limits.

It’s still pathetic.

Nothing like seconds, eh, Oakland?

It’s like Raiderettes and the senile old fool Al Davis—who would have been in the great yonder by now if the current health plan in Congress were law—have had this secret admiration for the ferocious 49ers.

Yeah, the Raiderettes still pull out their straw man and continue call the 49ers a finesse team.

What a laugh.

I guess the Raiderettes must be finesse, too, since they bring over so many great 49ers.

Yeah, Tom Rathman, Roger Craig, Ronnie Lott and Bill Romanowski were definitely, definitely finesse players.

And the guy Raiderettes really used to make fun of when he was a ‘Niner was Jerry Rice.

Yet, suddenly, that all changed when he became a Raiderette and helped take them to Super Bowl infamy.

Ouch. That hurt.

That’s when that senile old fool made one of the biggest blunders in NFL history.

The mistake only came back to kick the butt of his former and woefully unprepared team in the Super Bowl.

Leaving Raiderettes to still cry to momma that Tampa Bay knew all the Raiderettes signals and audibles.

Gee, ever hear of game preparation, Oakland?

Of not making feeble excuses?

Lame.

Talking about wussin’ out, Oakland.

Furthermore, only hillbilly embeciles like Raiderettes would call the bruisin’ sport called football, finesse.

But, hey, what do you expect from people who cannot read or write?

I’m looking forward to seeing Raiderettes.

Who could forget how they dress up?

Like out-of-control mental patients on a one-day weekend escape pass from Camarillo State Mental Hospital.

No, I’ve never been a patient there.

Just so you Raiderettes know, I’ll be the 49ers fan with the garlic-made Garcia doll.

I bought it, and the pins to stick in his hiney, at the Gilroy Garlic Festival this weekend.

His dad sold it to me. Seems your guy didn’t call dad on Father’s Day.

Big mistake.

Dad will be sitting with me.

The pungent odor will help protect us from the unwashed hordes called Raiderettes.

Oh, ya all want me to explain to readers how you people could afford to attend the game?

OK, but I really don’t want to.

OK, I will.

This is for Bleacher Report readers: Raiderettes at 49ers games got there by their own hard work.

Uh, no, it wasn’t sweat equity, in the conventional, pull-you-up-by-your-bootstraps tale.

More like pulling, err, a gun.

I’m a bit embarrassed to reveal their secret.

But I will.

They somehow were able to steal enough money robbing 7-11s to buy tickets for the preseason game.

(Oh, they like jalapeno hotdogs, mustard and relish, and coke slurpies. Not the Coke you are thinking of, sorry to say. They bring their own Starbucks-type shots.)

All to see a 39-year-old delicate quarterback star for them.

Do ya all have no pride?

No limit to your shame?

Didn’t they sign some dude with huge potential to QB a while back?

By now, I’m sure the red faces—caused by all sorts of legal and illegal intoxicants—of Raiderettes are about to burst the blood vessles in their cute little liver-damaged fat cheeks, so let me help ya out.

I am really sensitive to Raiderettes because of the communicable disease particular only to them.

Nearsightedness.

Hey, it’s ok. That’s why the state gives you the handicap placards.

We won’t hold it against you, even at the pit called Candlestick.

As I use my binoculars, I know I’ll be able to determine who is a Raiderette.

It’s rather simple, so let me clue ya all in.

They will be wearing the violet-covered supposedly intellectually looking rectangular nerd glasses worn by self-important fools.

I realize Raiderettes really think these idiot glasses make them look intelligent.

Hate to break it to you people, you effeminate Raiderettes, but they look absolutely ridiculous.

All you have to do is look at the San Francisco Chronicle from last week and see how ridiculous that Oakland coffee maker—who hails from my home county, Humboldt—looks.

He’s also the poster boy for Raiderettes as they try to mimic him and wear those comical glasses.

And you people make fun of San Francisco.

But, hey, that’s getting too personal, eh?

That’s just not allowed in this assuredly refined era of political and societal correctness, is it?

Let me let you in on another one of Oakland’s strange, but absolutely true, epidemiological secrets.

Raiderettes suffer from a communicable disease—PLEASE, don’t ask me how it’s transmitted—called Raiderettes Flatulence Syndrome.

Flatulence is gas, for the illiterates known as Raiderettes.

This world-renown discovery was made at, yes, the UCSF Medical Center.

That’s because Oakland has nothing so worthy.

I must say, I’ve personally been gassed, but I was saved by a life-cart and the fresh air paramedics brought.

I can tell you, it’s outrageously foul-smelling gas.

The United Nations recently deemed Raiderettes as carbon polluters.

They are now seeking—through a former 49ers player who is their financial adviser—how to trade carbon credits so they can go on living their miserable existences.

For you Raiderettes who are by now so offended, disgusted and angry, let me help you out.

Because I feel your pain.

And I respect all people.

Except Raiderettes.

I’ll be the guy in the flak jacket and helmet.

Along with my grenade-launcher.

Oh, yeah, and THAT!

An escort provided by the Camp Pendleton Marine Expeditionary Force, fresh from fighting the Taliban in America’s new Vietnam.

Oh, one last thing.

I just read that Homeland Security has raised the threat level to red on Aug. 22.

Oh, sorry, I lied.

One last thing.

The Raiderettes’ traditional tea in Hunter’s Point has been canceled due to a lack of medicinal marijuana.

Sorry about that, Raiderettes.

But, I’m sure you all grow it anyway.

Hey, good luck on another losing season.

And when you shop with your beautiful women at Wal-Mart, could you have them leave a few razors?

I mean, I know they have that unfortunate facial hair problem, but the rest of us shave, too.

Except for our civilized female companions.

They are actually feminine.

Unlike the ghastly Raiderette women.

Did I forget anything?

Oh, yeah.

Peace.

Out.

Woops, the point of this juvenile rant?

I want to see the snot knocked out of Garcia because of all the reasons cited above.

And because he is a Raiderette.

Six Reasons Why Rey Maualuga Should Not Be a Bengal

Since Rey Maualuga was graduated from the same high school as me, I have to admit I feel so sorry for him now that he is in Cincinnati.

However, he is a good young man and will hopefully excel beyond belief.

Yet I cannot resist citing the top six reasons why he should not be with the criminal and woefully awful Bengals, although they may rebound this year.

Since they have lost two Super Bowls to the best franchise to ever take to an NFL field, the San Francisco 49ers, I don’t think they will ever regroup.

Maybe they can move to Los Angeles.

After all, their criminal behavior would be more acceptable in that gangland.

Here are the top six reasons why Maualuga should not be a Bengal:

1. He graduated from, yes, my high school.
2. Anyone from The Redwood Empire deserves better.
3. He reminds me of my late brother.
4. The Bengals are gas-happy with criminals.
5. The Bengals have lost two Super Bowls to the super-glorious 49ers.
6. Cris Collinsworth once played for Cincinnati.

Raiders ‘Black Hole Felons’ Terribly Misunderstood

There is a website expert at making the Raiders look like the bottom-dwelling cellar rats that the football gods have destined them to be.

The Official Raiders Hater Universe has been around for a while, and I featured it before.

However, it has been updated to reflect the Raiderettes two losses to San Diego, including that 34-7 blowout last year.

Remember that, Raiderette fans?

Let me refresh your memory about other Raiderette highlights, such as in 2006, LaDainian Tomlinson scoring 186 points.

He actually outscored the entire Raiderette team that scored a pathetically wimpy 168 total points.

Having a website dedicated to calling Raiderette fans “obnoxious morons” must really grate on the proud Silver & Black, eh?

Although the Web site has some dated comments, this one is ageless:

“When will someone take the crayons away from Al Davis?

“If you’re an Oakland idiot fan pretender, this era in Davis’ stewardship just has to be killing you.

“The rest of us, however, are thoroughly enjoying the comedy troupe that is the Raiders.”

That’s the truth.

Why do San Diego’s fans have such animosity for such a nice group of church-going folk known as “The Black Hole Felons”?

What would make a Charger fan write:

“Face it Jokeland fans, you’re rooting for the joke of the NFL. Raider Nation? I think not!!!  Laughing stock maybe!?!?”

Oh, that’s right, Oakland has done nothing but lose for most of the years since its last Super Bowl victory.

Even Raiderette fans come under attack on this website.

“For too long a time, ‘Raider Nation’ has been the U.S. version of English soccer hooliganism.

“Passion in supporting a team is one thing; ‘Raider Nation’ is far closer to thuggery.”

Uh, oh, mainstream media bias has been discovered yet again:

“And don’t be conned by the media’s suggestion that these fans are unswerving in their support for and dedication to the Raiders.

“The Super Bowl was supposed to be a ‘Raider Home Game.’ If you taped the game, go back and play the tape but instead of watching the plays, listen for ‘Raider Nation’ once they were down by 14 points.

“Instead of exhorting the team, that pack of poseurs and front-runners shut their noiseholes just like every other set of fans. Like the Raiders’ team, this group is living on reputation.”

Ouch.

That hurt.

So do these praiseworthy insults, well-earned in the case of the Raiderettes:

 

1. “The ‘Raidahs’ play like turkeys with their heads chopped off.”
2. “The Raiders are destined to dwell in the cellar like other rats.”

 

 

13 Reasons San Francisco 49ers Will Pound & Ground Raiders in Preseason

When I sit in my seat as a new 49ers season ticket-holder now that I live in the Bay Area, I want to see the Raiders humiliated.

No, the August matchup at Candlestick won’t be preseason to me.

It will be war.

Here are the 13 top reasons the 49ers need to destroy Oakland:

1. Oakland is not worthy of distinction, despite my brother being born there and me having lived there
2. Oakland has no class; if you’ve visited, you know that
3. San Jose has eclipsed Oakland as the Bay Area’s second city
4. Oakland is home to the Raiders and A’s
5. Oakland stole the San Francisco Warriors and renamed them the Golden State Warriors
6. Oakland fans, except for Bleacher Report’s Snoopy, who is my friend, have to be fingerprinted prior to stadium entry
7. Nearly all Oakland fans have been on America’s Most Wanted
8. Nearly all Oakland fans have been on the FBI’s top 10
9. Most Al-Qaeda recruits come from Oakland Raiders fan clubs
10. the Bay Area hazmat squad is always present at Oakland games due to the amount of illegal substances consumed and the toxic brew left behind, at great expense to taxpayers
11. We need to send Al Davis to his grave with the bitter memory of being humiliated, again, by the 49ers
12. Oakland is where my great-grandfather, a famous artist, is buried in a historical cemetery, and I’d rather have him in Colma because it’s classier
13. Oakland has Fairyland

Top 11 Reasons for the ‘Niners to Knock the Snot Out of Tony Romo

Make no mistake about it, when the 49ers face the Cowboys in their new stadium, some 49ers fans like me will want to knock the snot out of Tony Romo and any other Cowgirl who gets in the way.

Here are my 11 reasons to make Romo a stockholder in Kleenex:

1. Tony Romo is not afraid of San Francisco’s defense, except for Patrick Willis.
2. Romo told an ESPN mole that he doesn’t have to worry about Willis because by the time the ‘Niner is in the backfield, Romo will have fired a spiral downfield against the leaking 49ers secondary.
3. Jessica Simpson, since being dumped, said that Romo said the 49ers secondary consists of chumps.
4. Most of Romo’s inspirational films are those showing Dallas victories over San Francisco.
5. While munching on popcorn one day at his computer, Romo was overheard to say that the only thing locked down in regard to Nate Clements are the corner back’s lead feet.
6. Since laughter is therapy, and because he needs a lot of it after his sojourn with Simpson, Romo watches Clements’s Web site repeatedly, waiting for “lockdown” to appear before laughing hysterically, careful not to choke on his popcorn, supplied by buddy Terrell Owens.
7. He laughs even more when he accesses Clements’s Web site and sees the Twitter bird which, Romo says, is more likely to intercept one of his passes than Clements is
8. Romo is more afraid of getting sacked by the 49ers Gold Rush cheerleaders than the defensive line, thanks to his good looks of course.
9. Romo said the 49ers defensive line couldn’t start for Humboldt State.
10. Romo also said San Francisco’s pass rush is effeminate and not worthy of fear.
11. Lastly, Romo said Dallas will crush the 49ers and looks forward to doing so, even though it’s a preseason game.

 

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