No, I Asked For Cable!

Should Tom Cable be retained? Well, the experts say no, but the final decision will be made by Al William Davis (just kidding on the middle name). Al Davis has a history of firing coaches after a year. Shocking, isn’t it?

Well, here are the Pros and Cons for keeping Tom Cable:

Pros

1) He is generally a low profile coach, not counting other incidents that will be addressed shortly.

2) He’s not afraid to make a bold move. Even though everyone was calling for JaMarcus’ head, it’s not easy to bench the franchise quarterback. Luckily for him (and us) he did that. Because let’s face it, JaMarcus Russell just flat-out, no doubt about it, sucked.

3) He has the support of his players. The reason for that is because the Raiders players want to see some stability. I don’t blame them.

Cons

1) He runs the sissiest training camp in the history of the NFL. I mean seriously. Who on Earth starts a training camp with four days of walk-throughs. Tom Cable does. And apparently he’s done it before. At Idaho. Guess what? Idaho was one of the worst programs in Division 1 (FBS) during his tenure.

2) JaMarcus Russell. You know you are bad when you are on a “con” list for someone else. If Tom Cable returns, JaMarcus Russell will more than likely still be his problem.

3) Off-field incidents. It started when he broke Randy Hanson’s jaw (come to think of it, I don’t see how this doesn’t happen more often). With all that testosterone and Randy Hanson in there, I can imagine this happening again until a coach actually gets suspended or put on probation.

He also got accused of assaulting several women, which is inexcusable. I won’t make a joke about that. But on another note, look at the women he was dating. It’s kind of a “Damn! Look who he landed” situation.

4) Possibly the worst play-caller in the history of the Oakland Raiders franchise. He NEEDS to hire an offensive coordinator if he’s retained.

So, good luck to Tom Cable.

By the way, I don’t need to see Al Davis in another press conference, so for that reason alone I hope Cable’s retained!

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JaMarcus Russell: What Happens In-Ah Screw It! You Know What Was Coming…

So JaMarcus Russell thought he was above the team. He went to Vegas, and missed the team meetings. Well, this is a step in a positive direction. I kinda sorta believe the load of crap (keeping it clean for the children) I just said.

Look, he needs to start acting like a real athlete. A real athlete has to make at least 9.35 million a year. He needs to focus on making headlines consistently. Screw football. He’s not gonna get any better. To keep being in the headlines he’s gonna need to do things like going to Vegas without permission, kissing yourself in the mirror, and going half-naked in a magazine cover.

But there’s a big difference with A-Rod and Tiger.  See, they make headlines without even trying to. That’s when you know you’ve reached the epitome of sports.

So JaMarcus, focus on controversy this offseason. Start off small, like “JaMarcus Russell Changes Last Name”, then go medium “JaMarcus Russell Locks Himself Inside of A Closet” then to downright wrong “JaMarcus Russell Runs 40 Time Without Shirt”.

I believe he can do these things with the right guidance. Good luck, JaMarcus! I hope everything worked out for you and Chuck (just a guess he was there) in Vegas.

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JaMarcus Russell: Turning Into A Top 5 Quarterback

So you bought it. You thought the title was ridiculous just like me. And it was. But can he be in the future? No. You gotta stop falling for it.

Anyway let me get to the point. JaMarcus Russell looked good out there. He was playing well. Until he threw an interception, and lost a fumble. This was the conversation Cable and Russell had when he got back into the huddle.

Tom Cable : What the hell were you seeing out there ‘Marcus?

JaMarcus Russel l: I swear he was wide open.

TC : The problem was that he was wide open 3 seconds before you through it. Do you realize that he has to be open the moment you throw the ball?

JC : Uhhh.

TC : We talked about this ‘Marcus. Stop sucking. It’s not good for your career, or mine.

JC : What are you going to do about it? You gonna punch me like you did to Hanson and the other chicks? Because it ain’t gonna work. See, I eat burgers just like you do. We the same body type.

TC : Which is exactly the problem. You are the Quarterback! The damn Quarterback! But we can have this conversation later. Let’s not make a scene. You need to go back out there and suck less.

JC : But I don’t want to go back out there. They don’t like me very much. The defense scares me. Can’t you take me out?

TC : I would if I could ‘Marcus. I would if I could…

So that is what transpired after JaMarcus Russell’s interception. And you call Cable a bad coach. “Stop sucking.” I think everybody would say that including the defense. They have feelings too, you know. You think they like it when they have to pick off Russell without even trying? Well, they don’t.

So, JaMarcus, on behalf of Raider Nation, could you stop sucking?

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Oakland Raiders: Life After Al Davis

This article may be a bit insensitive, but so is being forced to look at Al Davis’ picture on E-Harmony. Ooooohhhh. Yeah! I said it.

So I’ve been thinking when Al Davis gives up the team (a.k.a dies), who will be the next owner of the Oakland Raiders? So I’ve comprised a list of the top candidates:

1) Mark Davis . He’s the son of Al Davis. Now I know what you are thinking right now. Al Davis has a son? And more importantly who would-whoops I digressed a bit. But he has never really been a part of the Raiders. His only affiliation with the team is his father. 

2) Mark Cuban . Cuban already owns an NBA team (Dallas Mavericks). He has shown interest in the Cubs (didn’t win them). But what does he have to do with football?

a) He’s rich, b) He’s worth more than the Raiders, and c) Did I already mention he’s rich?

But you gotta admit, you’d like Cuban. He’s proactive and provocative (not a tongue twister). I’d like to see him try to stay calm in the owner’s box. So, what’s not to like about him?

3) George W. Bush . Just making sure you were paying attention. 

4) Mike Shanahan . This would be so wrong on so many levels. Can’t you just see Shanahan at the press conference thinking, “Yeah, suck it Al.” Well, he’d say something like that. And if this happens Al Davis will know. Trust me on that. Between you and me they don’t particularly care for each other. Keep that on the down low. 

5) Rush Limbaugh . In my humble opinion, he’s stupid and arrogant. Now that’s where the positives end. Here are the negatives:

a) He would be the worst owner in professional sports B) He’s not very likable. Wait a sec. Are we sure Al Davis only had 1 son? And I digress again. Where was I? Ahhh C) He almost died already. Okay, well the list can go on and on. I don’t want to waste your time…anymore than I am with this article. Badah-bing!

So those are my top 5 candidates for the job with a little humor in there. Oh, and for all of those Al Davis purists out there, sorry about this. (Luckily, there aren’t any of those left)

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Ten Questions for Baltimore Ravens vs. Oakland Raiders

The Ravens-Raiders match up is a big one–for the Ravens. If the Ravens lose, they are likely out of the playoffs. The Raiders faced a similar situation last season, when they eliminated Tampa Bay from playoff contention. 4 of the Raiders 5 wins have come against +.500 teams. Will the Raiders pull of the upset? Well, here are the top 10 things to look for…

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Hey Broncos! Do You Want a Do-Over?

Make no mistake about it: Jay Cutler has top-five QB potential in this league. 

He has a strong arm, and can move around in the pocket. 

But what’s one thing that’s been holding him back since he arrived in the league with the most overrated QB draft class ever? His high level of arrogance. He thinks he can make all the the throws. He thinks he is better than he is. Well, he’s not. Bears fans probably agree by now.

Jay Cutler is a gunslinger. But he is no Brett Favre. At least Brett Favre wins. Jay Cutler has never had a winning season. Last season, when the Broncos were on the verge of the playoffs, Jay Cutler and his team caught Cowboy-itis. They choked. Of course he wasn’t the only problem on that team (i.e., the defensive issues), but he still didn’t lead his team to the playoffs.

Great QBs make their receivers better. Look at Peyton Manning, for instance. Two of his top three receivers this season (not counting Dallas Clark) are Austin Collie and Pierre Garcon. I guarantee you, they wouldn’t be putting up the numbers they are with Jay Cutler.

In New England, Wes Welker wasn’t the best possession receiver in the league—until he met up with Tom Brady. 

The last two are both great QBs. Jay Cutler is not even close to being great.

This is his fourth year in the league. The time is running out to prove himself a winner.

Someone needs to get in his head. They have to teach him how to be a NFL QB. They have to tell him that he can’t make all the throws. They have to say to him that it’s okay to throw the ball away once in awhile. They have to make it clear to him he’s not as good as he thinks he is.

I’m not sure who that person will be, or if it will ever happen.

There’s a good chance of Lovie Smith being fired, and the new coach bringing in a fresh system.

What we all know is that he needs to produce next season. If he doesn’t, he won’t be there in 2011.

The Bears will look to get better at the WR position in the offseason. They have to at least give him some kind of chance to succeed. 

But at the end of the day, Jay Cutler needs to make the plays that win a football game. He hasn’t done that.

Bears fans deserve better than the garbage he’s been throwing this season (25-plus interceptions). Next year it will be time to put up or shut up. 

 

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NFL: Who Is Team Dysfunction This Season?

The Raiders have won this award for 7 seasons in a row. Will another team take their throne? All teams have had fight through major adversity this season. Even the best. Look at Brett Favre in Minnesota. Look Bill Bellicheck in New England. How about Peyton Manning and the Colts. Okay, I was just joking about the last one. But only one can be named Team Dysfunction.

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Oakland Raiders: What a Shock! They Lost!

It’s a pattern that’s persisted all season. The Raiders just can’t seem to get over the hump.

Oakland hasn’t won two straight all season. 

Warren Sapp was right after all. The Raiders really are at their worst after a win.

After the Week Two win at Kansas City, they followed it up with a 23-3 loss at home to the Denver Broncos.

After the most surprising win in the NFL (other than the Bucs over the Saints) this season, a 13-9 win over the Philadelphia Eagles, they followed it up with 38-0 pounding by the New York Jets.

Anyway, you see where I’m going with this. The lowest margin of defeat in the five losses after victories has been 14 points. This shows that they aren’t even making it close. 

Something needs to be fixed. They need to change their routine after a win. It’s clear that whatever they’ve been doing hasn’t worked this season.

It’s unfortunate that Raider Nation won’t taste two straight wins this season. The only good thing about a loss lately is that the Raiders follow it up with a win.

That’s what the Raiders look to do against Baltimore next week. With a victory, they eliminate the Ravens from the playoff race, similar to the way they eliminated the Buccaneers last season. 

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What a Shock! The Raiders Lost Again

It’s a pattern that’s persisted all season; the Oakland Raiders just can’t seem to get over the hump.

The Raiders haven’t won two straight all season. 

Warren Sapp was right after all; the Raiders really are at their worst after a win.

After the week two victory at Kansas City, they followed it up with a 23-3 loss at home. After the most surprising win in the NFL (other than Bucs over Saints) this season vs. Philadelphia, they follow it up with 38-0 ass-whooping by the Jets.

Anyway, you see where I’m going with this. The lowest point totals in all of those five losses has been 14 points. It shows that they aren’t even making it close. 

Something needs to be fixed, they need to change their routine after a win. It’s clear whatever they’ve been doing hasn’t worked this season. It’s unfortunate that Raider Nation won’t taste two straight wins this season. The only good thing about a loss lately is, that the Raiders follow it up with a win.

That’s what the Raiders look to do against Baltimore next week. With a victory, they eliminate them from the playoff race similar to the way they eliminated the Tampa Bay Buccaneers last season. 

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Oakland Raiders: Just Win, Baby!

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