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Buffalo Bills in Reality
Published: May 26, 2009
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I am a Buffalo Bills fan by all means don’t get me wrong, but all this hype surrounding this team is too much. It’s time we come to our senses, and start becoming real.
The Bills will end up going 9-7. They will lose to the Patriots twice, the Dolphins and the Jets once, and the Panthers, Titans, and Falcons.
Buffalo will beat the Buccaneers, Saints, Browns, Dolphins, and Jets once, as well as the Chiefs and the Colts.
The reason for my prediction is simple really, and it is as follows.
Trent will start off great and the Bills will do great for the first five weeks, but Trent will have something bad happen, like an injury, or the cold weather will kick in will start to get to him.
Turk Schonert’s “no huddle” offense will go bad when Marshawyn Lynch decides he “needs a PB and J sandwich” in between plays or else he can’t perform.
Lee Evans and Terrell Ownes will engage in what would mimic an episode of “Keeping Up With the Kardashians” over who is the No. 1 receiver, in which Evans will end up killing T.O. and will proceed to eat popcorn in Owens’ respect.
By the way, Owens will ask the front office to make one of the home games “Terrell Owens day,” which will feature the field to be painted with his face in the middle, and the fan giveaway will be a bag of popcorn and some chicken wings!
When Trent is out for who knows why, Ryan Fitzpatrick will complete the process of upsetting Owens and will cry “hi mom” when Owens “used his pimp hand” to beat up Ryan.
Dick Jauron will flee to Canada after he is worried the Bills will go 7-9 again. That or Dick reveals he is actually a robot and that he has came to make peace with Earth. He will reveal this at a press conference after being asked why he shows no anger when loosing 72-0.
I try to remain optimistic but this team really can’t prove themselves until I see them at training camp in August. In reality the Bills will probably end up somewhere in between 7-9 and 9-7, which means another great year of .500 football! I cant wait…
Michael Vick: A Whole New World
Published: May 20, 2009
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With the release of Michael Vick from federal prison, millions of questions are swirling in his mind as we speak.
How’s my wife? My Kids? My Money? Will I be loved? Will I be hated?
But the question that has been burning in the back of his head for 23 months now is if he will be reinstated back into the NFL.
Here’s what I have to say about it:
ON MICHAEL VICK’S RELEASE FROM PRISON
I think that Vick learned some good life lessons after being in jail for his 23 month sentence, like how to make a shiv. Joking, of course.
Michael Vick is not a new person, and he hasn’t changes much at all in my eyes. I mean, seriously, this guy owned a dog fighting arena in his backyard.
I have no sympathy for that. This guy is a straight up monster. There is nothing that this man could do that would reverse my opinion on him.
ON HIS REINSTATEMENT BACK INTO THE NFL
Well, we all know Vick can play. He had over 11,500 yards through the air, and just under 4,000 yards rushing in his six-year career. The problem isn’t going to be his performance, but if he will be allowed to play.
The decision really all comes down to Roger Goodell, and if he wants to allow Vick to play again. We saw Adam “Pacman” Jones get reinstated after a club fight, why not Vick right? I hope he does get reinstated, but then gets booed everywhere he plays.
ON THE TEAMS THAT MIGHT WANT HIM
No one, because he won’t be allowed to play again!
No, I’m joking, but the thing is, many teams won’t want Michael Vick’s reputation on their hands.
Sure, Buffalo took a lot of heat for signing Terrell Owens, but he is only a hazard to the locker room due to his mouth. Imagine how much heat a team would take for signing a guy who gave reporters “the finger” during interviews, and not to mention a guy who enjoyed watching dogfights in his backyard.
Teams that might want him could be Denver, Washington, Oakland, Miami (wouldn’t a Marcus-Michael Vick duo be awesome?), New England, Jacksonville, or Tampa Bay.
THE FINAL VERDICT
Michael Vick is a monster, and he deserves to be held out of the NFL for a while, possibly two to three years. Should Vick come back, hopefully he won’t play for the Browns, or he’d be in the Dawg Pound.
Pretty ironic, huh?
