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NFL Week Four: My Three Wishes

Published: October 2, 2009

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1. That JaMarcus Russell responds to the biggest insult ever dealt to a quarterback

Sports Illustrated‘s Peter King mused this week that Russell might be the next Ryan Leaf. Has a quarterback ever been more insulted? I’ll admit that Russell hasn’t exactly set the world alight with his performances over the last three seasons, but the next Leaf? Come on, he’s got to go a long way further down before he plumbs that particular depth. He’s much more like Tim Couch, circa 2001.

2. That bye weeks start to make more sense

A bye after three rounds? In what other sport would you take a mandatory break less than 25 percent of the way through the season, with no promise of one for the other 75 percent of it. There are four teams out there who might as well write their seasons off now, because a rest now does nothing, when most of your team is ready to play. In eight weeks’ time, the situation is bound to be different, but where others can put their feet up, these four sides are going to have to play on through as best they can. It is, without a doubt, unfair.

3. That the ‘Favre Bowl’ is a ‘Favre Bust’

Because it would make me laugh so hard. Favre’s rematch with the Packers has been hyped beyond belief. For over a decade now, any team led by Favre has gone missing when the pressure is on. I really hope it happens on Sunday—not because I hate Favre or anything like that, but then because a 40-year-old might not be the sole source of speculation in this league.

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NFL Week Three: My Three Wishes

Published: September 26, 2009

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1. Can we have proper injury reports again, please?

The outcome of the Favre/Jets injury saga seems to have been that every team is now listing every injury suffered by any of its players, no matter how minor. This means we are rapidly approaching the point where the injury report will run to 1696 players, with the odd coach, cheerleader and TV color man thrown in for good measure.

I know that this is considered heretical by the NFL, but injury reports become irrelevant if too many people are on them for too many minor things. Indeed, there’s an argument for saying that listing every last injury just makes it easier for teams to hide something more serious.

After all, if your QB has, say, a rib injury and you list him as also having a strained quad, the recovery time is potentially the same, but no opponent will know that a body shot is likely to cause him far more problems when he returns.

Of course, the injury report has always depended upon the unwritten hierarchy of players anyway. No-one really cares if certain players are on there or not. For example

Quarterback breaks fingernail (non-throwing hand) – TRAGEDY! DISASTER! CALL EVERY HAND SURGEON IN THE STATE AND BRING ME A TON OF COTTON WOOL!

Defensive lineman breaks leg – CALL RICHARD SEYMOUR’S AGENT

Punter contracts Ebola virus – NEXT!

2. Can we have the unreal Tony Romo back, please?

If the Tony Romo who buckles like cheap aluminum under pressure is the “real” Tony Romo, can we have the “unreal” one back? It’s no fun watching him struggle this early in the season and far more interesting when he does it in Week 15, the playoffs, or whenever.

In fact, it is almost worthwhile letting the Cowboys get to the Superbowl, just to give him a global stage on which to demonstrate his ability to pass to cornerbacks, linebackers, the referee, and anyone else without a star on their helmet.

3. Can the NFL grow up a bit, please?

I like it when players try and introduce a bit of fun into games. I’m on record as saying that the NFL has gone way too far in banning in-goal celebrations. But the past two weeks have seen the players going over the top.

We’ve had fines for wearing slogans on the soles of shoes, and for a player wearing a “Jason” mask. Neither of these things are even funny. If players want to be treated like grown ups, they need to demonstrate that they are grown ups.

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NFL Season Preview: In Tweets

Published: September 8, 2009

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I was challenged to write a preview for each team, but in the style of a ‘tweet’, so here goes.

@ArizonaCardinals Repeating last year is probably beyond them. Will need as much luck as they had then to even make the playoffs
@AtlantaFalcons Huge changes and significant injuries. Younger than in 08, but need Ryan to be even better than last year
@BaltimoreRavens No change in the receiving corps & suspect D will put even more pressure on Flacco. Interesting to see how Oher shapes up
@BuffaloBills Entire season depends upon keeping TO happy. Where have you heard that before? Look out for Jauron’s new Pop Warner offense!
@Carolina Panthers Feeble defense, offense almost entirely dependent upon the run. Could be a long 17 weeks
@ChicagoBears Cutler a great signing at QB, but needed better receivers to throw to. Defense back to 2006 form with Urlacher looking MEAN
@CincinnatiBengals Everything seems happier this year now that 85 has discovered Twitter, Palmer is able to throw & the D has been beefed up
@ClevelandBrowns Wtf is going on? Mystery QB competitions, unsettled O line. The D should be better – but then it could hardly get any worse
@DallasCowboys. Probably their best chance in years for a real run at the Superbowl, with an easy early season. Watch out for Ogletree at WR
@DenverBroncos Disastrous man management left them weak at QB & with an unhappy wideout. A miracle if they even record a winning season
@DetroitLions Literally can’t get worse than last year. Stafford will hope to be as good as Ryan & Flacco were. No chance of the post-season
@GreenBayPackers Nothing less than playoffs will do. Change to 3-4 D led to chaos in pre-season – no excuse if Rogers & Co fail anyway

@HoustonTexans Much depends upon Schaub & Slaton staying fit & on the D learning to stop the run. Seem to lack strength in vital positions
@IndianapolisColts Life Without Dungy will be strange. Need Bob Sanders back.The most impressive offense in the NFL should outscore anyone
@JacksonvilleJaguars Must improve this year or Del Rio is toast. Unfortunately, the O looks as weak as a new born kitten. Tough times ahead
@KansasCityChiefs New coach, new GM., new QB. Unfortunately, no new wideouts of note, no sense there’s any more talent than last season.
@MiamiDolphins Came back well last season from their hideous 07. Need to keep improving – hard now that the Wildcat is out of the bag
@MinnesotaVikings After the dramas will have to perform on the pitch to show it was worthwhile. Should win NFC North. Harvin looks exciting
@NewEnglandPatriots Brady back, but have lost a lot of other leaders. Talent everywhere, but not as strong as they have been or could be
@NewOrleansSaints Have boosted their woeful D of last season. Offense strong, Brees will still try and outpass rest of the NFL put together
@NewYorkGiants Chance for a WR to emerge from the shadow of Burress. Two gun RBs. Defense stronger with Osi U back. What’s not to love?
@NewYorkJets Favre circus has left town. Sanchez to try his luck where many have failed before. D still a work in progress. Playoff chance.
@OaklandRaiders Looks increasingly like Russell is a bust and a bizarre draft has not helped. No chance of playoffs this year

@PhiladelphiaEagles Arrival of Vick a distraction? Little strength at WR for him to play to. Death of Jim Johnson won’t help the D.
@PittsburghSteelers Contenders for a successive Superbowl. Strong everywhere & have depth, as their success despite injuries showed in 08
@SanDiegoChargers Should win division easily, but can Rivers, LT take them that extra step to a Superbowl? Time to prove the doubters wrong.
@SanFrancisco49ers Hill the right choice at QB, but time to see if Singletary’s ‘get tough’ policy has worked on a side of limited talent
@SeattleSeahawks 1st season under Mora should be better than their last under Holmgreen. TJ has a chance to shine, esp with Hasselbeck fit
@St.LouisRams A third successive poor season beckons. A side in transition will rely heavily on Steven Jackson again. Do not expect much
@TampaBayBuccaneers Huge coaching changes. Huge personnel changes. Will therefore struggle for a winning season, but watch out in 2010
@TennesseeTitans Blew up spectacularly last season. Will hope to last the pace this time even with no Albert H. Short of strength in depth
@WashingtonRedskins Look good on defense, but really the last chance for Campbell or you can bet on Coach Zorn being out of work by 2010.

Agree? Disagree? Leave your comments below, but remember—140 characters only.

Alternatively, tweet me—I’m @theskiver—using the hashtag #bleacherreport.

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NFL Week Four: My Three Wishes

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NFL Season Preview: In Tweets

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