Raider Fan Trash Talk: A Premonition

To save Broncos fans some time, I thought I would provide a quick synopsis of Raiders’ trash talk for the next three years. This way you can ignore the Retard Nation and go about your business.

December 2008–Sept. 27, 2009: “The last time the Raiders played the Donkeys, JaMarcus Russell tore you up. He was 10-for-11 for 152 yards.  The horses had no answer for his rocket arm. He will do the same to you this time. Never mind that he has a 35 percent completion rate. Disregard the 7-of-24 performance against the Chiefs because he was 10-of-11 last time…in your own house. Raiderssssss”

Sept. 28, 2009–Dec. 20, 2009: “Last December, the Donkey made JaMarcus Russell look like a pro bowler. Ten-for-11, choke on that Donk fans.  JRuss is going to tear the Horses apart. Raiderssss”

Dec. 21, 2009–Early 2010 football season: “Three games ago JaMarcus Russell didn’t have any trouble with your weak ass Donk defense. JRuss has come into his own, and he will shred you guys again this time around. Raidersssss”

Early 2010 football season–late 2010 Football Season: “Remember two years ago when JRuss went 10-of-11. Remember when he didn’t suck? Raidersssss”

Late 2010 Football season and beyond: “A couple years ago…JRuss…no picks…10-of-11…no picks, did I say that?…152 yards…I hate the Donkeys…JRuss…Raidersssssss.”

 

Please God, let this nonsense go on forever. I know that someday Raiders fans and management will wake up and realize Russell is passable at best and horrendous at his worst, but it is so fun to watch the train wreck while it is still in slow motion.

Go Broncos!

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Four Questions for the Denver Broncos

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As we prepare for Sunday’s season opener there are questions we need answered. The answer to these questions will have a major impact on how the Broncos season progresses.

 

Run Defense

The Broncos failure to stop the run over the past few seasons raised the ire of Broncos’ fans and ultimately led to the firing of Mike Shanahan. If the Broncos have not resolved this issue it will be very difficult to improve on last season’s 8-8 record.

The preseason results were encouraging. The Broncos’ run defense showed signs of improvement but it was preseason. The Broncos need to show they can shut down a rushing attack.  Cincinnati are not known as a great running team. If Cedric Benson hangs 100 yards on the Broncos’ defense it will be a sign that the Broncos still have problems in this area.

 

Pass Rush

Over the past few years Denver’s pass rush has been suspect at best. The lack of a consistent pass rush led to the Broncos’ performing poorly on third down.  Broncos’ fans watched helplessly as our team forced the opposing team into a third and long, only to see our secondary be exposed by a lack of pass rush. Our secondary looks to be greatly improved, but no secondary can hold up for the amount of time our defensive line gave opposing quarterbacks last year.

This is another area that the Broncos showed great promise of improvement in the preseason. Elvis Dumervil looked like a beast. If this carries over to the regular season the Broncos will be in great shape. We still need Jarvis Moss and rookie Robert Ayers to step up.

 

Kyle Orton

No one expects Kyle Orton to be a great quarterback. He does not need to be.  What he needs to be is serviceable. Manage the game, limit turnovers, and make an occasional great pass. It’s that simple.

The preseason provided mixed results. While showing great promise at times, there were also some very scary moments for Broncos’ fans. It is preseason and we have to remember the purpose of the preseason is to work out these issues. If we see the Orton that makes accurate, crisp passes; the Broncos will be fine. If we see the Orton that locks onto a receiver or throws left handed interceptions; Broncos’ fans could be in for a long season.

 

Josh McDaniels

Over the past 14 years in Denver, quality coaching was never an issue. The Broncos under Shanahan were rarely out-coached and rarely out of any game. A bad first half led to the adjustments that would lead the Broncos back into the game. Shanahan, I believe, is one of the greatest in-game coaches in history.

I have no doubt that the Broncos have not opened the entire play book in the preseason. I also think McDaniels will be a good coach and have his team prepared. Making in-game adjustments is my concern. This is what separates good coaches from great ones. I don’t believe Broncos’ fans appreciate this quality enough.

Many of the above questions will be answered this week. Some answers may take several games to be answered but these are the issues that will ultimately determine the Broncos’ fate.

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Happy New Year Football Fans

Football fans rejoice. Your offseason suffering has come to an end.

We have suffered through the grueling months between the Super Bowl and the first day of the new season. We have grasped at every snippet of information we can get our hands on to hold us through the dark times.

We waited patiently as our team tediously vetted potential free agents and settled on the chosen few. The outcome of this process would not to be determined for months. But no more! The results will soon be known to all.

We will know if our team can survive without its mainstays. We will know if that washed up veteran castoff has one more, good year in him.  All of the answers will soon be told, because today is football season!

We were mercilessly pelted with mock draft after mock draft. But like an addict chasing his next fix, after we painstakingly reviewed one, we searched the Internet for more. Hoping some nitwit in cyberspace had some keen insight that we were missing.

After the big day had come and gone the process of grading the draft began. What a moronic process this is. But still, we watched it like it was a train wreck in slow motion.

What I want to know is if every team made the exact pick Pete Prisco predicted in his mock draft, would he still give half the teams a grade of “C” or worse? Would the Patriots still get an “A” for being the Patriots? Go away Pete, leave us alone! You’re not invited to our tailgate party.

We have criticized our team for not doing enough. We have second guessed the decisions, and in most cases, come to defend our team. Our GMs and coaches must know what they are doing. They have made the changes necessary to bring our team back to its former greatness.

Next up on our list of offseason horrors, the “Offseason Power Rankings.”  Power rankings have to be one of the most idiotic things conceived. They are bad enough during the season, but to be insulted by them in the off-season is almost more than I can bear. Still, I hang on every word. Why does ESPN have my team ranked 27 and CBS has them at 25?

Clearly all of these people have to be insane. Don’t they realize the improvements my team made, free agents, the draft, scheme changes, new coaches, fired coaches, addition by subtraction…how can they be so clueless? Anyone can see my team should be at least 21. They aren’t showing my team any respect. That’s alright we’ll show them. And it all starts today.

We have watched our team play four sloppy and meaningless football games in the preseason. We checked the box scores trying to determine how our first team matched up. We sat there while scrubs we will never see again made a mockery of our team’s proud football tradition. We watch because we are fans, pining for the real thing.

The stifling heat of summer two a days has broken. Feel the crisp morning air that signals the start of autumn. The cool northerly breeze that refreshes our soul and ignites our passion blows through the stadium. Soon the bitter cold of winter will be upon us. But that doesn’t matter today. Nothing can ruin today, the first day of football season.

We have talked our trash, berated our rival fans and made our predictions. Some bold, some safe and some just downright absurd. We have cast our lot and our fate will be determined over the next five months.

Fans of the perennial power houses, up and comers and terminal bottom dwellers all stand on equal footing today. We are all undefeated, all in first place, all equals and we all have hope. Nothing can bring us down.

So don your favorite jersey, fire up the grill and pull out the coldest beer. Celebrate! football fans. This is your day. You have suffered enough and your torment has come to an end.

Over the next several months there will be stark realizations and devastating injuries. Our delusions of grandeur will be laid to rest. Those prized free agents will prove to be less than promised. There will be draft busts, coaching errors and bonehead decisions.

But today I won’t hear of it. For today, my friend, is the start of a new year. Today is the first day of football season.

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When Should Josh McDaniels Pull the Plug on Kyle Orton?

Much has been said about Kyle Orton’s performance in the Denver Broncos’ preseason game against San Francisco. And to be sure it was bad. Anything good Orton did was negated by the three interceptions.

For the most part, Broncos fans seem to be willing to excuse this performance and by a fair margin continue to support Orton as the starter. I agree with this assessment.

The question is at what point does coach Josh McDaniels make a switch?

It is obvious that Orton is McDaniels’ first choice. Even after telling us that he would take as much time as necessary to select the starter, Orton was named early on. Clearly McDaniels saw something in Orton that he liked.

Though I have not witnessed it first hand, many have commented on how good Orton has looked in camp. Some of this is based purely in optimism, but he also showed some positive signs in the San Francisco game.

The performance of Chris Simms, or any other backup player, also needs to be put into perspective. Playing against lesser competition, he should look good. The pressure of being number one is also squarely on Orton’s shoulders.

I think Orton deserves a shot at redemption. I also think he needs to make the most of his shot. If he has another outing like last Friday, McDaniels will have to seriously consider his options. Unfortunately Simms is our only other option at this point

We can tell ourselves it is preseason and the games don’t matter. This is true of the outcome but not true of individual performances.

We can tell ourselves that it takes time to develop the timing and chemistry. We also have to admit that this should be nearly accomplished by the second preseason game.

The bottom line is that for the Broncos to have the season we are hoping for Kyle Orton has to be successful. If Simms becomes the better option then it is McDaniels’ obligation to play him. But to pretend that the Broncos will be better because of it is a fallacy.

AFC West Off To See The Wizard

The Denver Broncos have had one of the most tumultuous off-seasons in history.

They have been swept up by a huge tornado and dropped in a strange land.

All Bronco really wanted is to get back to the Super Bowl, so he heads off to see the Wizard accompanied by his little dog Josh.

While following the path, Bronco comes across a scarecrow named Raider. When the scarecrow finds out that Bronco is going to see a wizard, he asks if he can accompany Bronco. You see, the scarecrow doesn’t have a brain and he wants to see if the wizard can give him one.

Scarecrow’s team has only won 24 games over the past six years and he can’t figure out why everyone is dumping on them. Plus he talks lots of trash every year, only to be let down by his team. If he only had a brain, he could figure out why everyone dumps on his team and learn not to talk trash until his team could back it up.

Of course Bronco is happy to have the company because there is an evil witch named ESPN after him. ESPN has threatened to kill Bronco and his little dog Josh too, because Bronco fired Mike Shanahan.

As they walk down the road, they come across a tin man named Charger. Charger too wants to go see the wizard. You see, Charger has no heart. His team has been the best team in the division for the past few years, but they barely sell out the stadium.

Charger is afraid that home games will be blacked out and his team will move to Los Angeles if he doesn’t get a heart soon.

As Bronco, Raider and Charger follow the path to see the wizard a cowardly lion named Chief jumps out and tries to scare them.

Of course, they aren’t scared and they start beating the lion relentlessly. After they stop beating him, the lion explains to them he can’t scare anyone.

You see Chief’s team only won two games last season and ESPN says they haven’t done enough to improve. The companions invite Chief to join them because, maybe if Chief had some courage, he could scare other teams.

So the four are off to see the wizard. Along the way they continue to be taunted by ESPN and its minions. After a long and scary journey the four, and the little dog Josh, arrive in Miami where the wizard lives.

At first, the wizard doesn’t want to see them but eventually agrees since they have come such a long way. The wizard has something for each of them.

To Raider, the wizard gives a diploma. Don’t be fooled by this Raider. You really need a brain.

The wizard gives Charger heart-shaped clock. This is fitting because time is ticking on your reign of terror Charger.

To Chief, the wizard gives a badge of honor. But it is going to take more than a badge of honor for you to scare anyone.

Oh and you Bronco…what did the wizard give you?

We all know what the wizard gives Bronco…just not this year.

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