Christmas Is Over: Super Bowl Contenders Need New Year’s “Solutions”

The NFL Playoffs are starting in two weeks. As the New Year approaches, teams need to focus on “Solutions” instead of “Resolutions”.

The New Orleans Saints were on a mission for the better part of the season. They had been dominant in most of their games and looked unbeatable.

Reality sucks sometimes.

When Superman first realized he had a weakness to that stupid little green rock, it must have been quite a shock. Bullets, speeding locomotives, tall buildings, even time, can be overcome by the Man of Steel, but a little piece of Kryptonite was all it took to bring him down.

The Saints’ loss to the Cowboys is acceptable, since they are one of the most talented teams in the NFC, but to the Tampa Bay Bucaneers?

Wow.

The Saints’ Christmas stockings must have been filled with little green rocks instead of little black lumps of coal. Yes, bad little boys.

The knowledge of being immortal is a dangerous piece of information.

Like Superman, the Saints got a wake up call. It’s time for them to shed the Kryptonite chained around their necks and save the world, or at least their fans’ season.

The New Year brings new hope, new aspirations, new beginnings, and new resolve. The Saints need to re-solve their winning attitude; overcome the injuries, focus on the defense and the running game, and strike often with the big play.

Speaking of Superman, Brett Favre is a pro-bowler at 40 years old.

The Vikings also need re-solutions to get back to their winning ways. They have lost three of their last four games.

The Vikings are talented enough to do some damage in the playoffs, but they are not mentally focused on the overall goal. There is too much focus on the Childress-Favre incident, the Favre-player personel on the field issue, the injuries, and the Adrian Peterson averaging-three-yards-per-carry issue.

The Packers, Cowboys, Cardinals, and Eagles suddenly look better than the two teams in the NFC that have been dominant all season. The Vikings and Saints need to find solutions instead of making resolutions for the new year.

The rest of the teams hope to have a pocket full of Kryptonite.

In the AFC, the Colts are no longer undefeated, thanks to an idiotic coaching decision to rest the entire team midway through the third quarter in last week’s loss to the Jets.

The Chargers are looking electric.

The Jets received a nice Christmas gift, getting the Colts after they had clinched home field.

The Patriots are sporadic.

The Bengals look flat.

The Ravens’ defense in now offensive.

The Steelers, Broncos, Dolphins and Texans are pretty much living on a prayer thanks to the Colts’ tank job.

It starts in two weeks and in the immortal words of Jim Mora; “Playoffs? You’re talking about the playoffs?”

Yes, the playoffs. They are right around the corner, and here is a New Year’s “Solution” for each of the potential invitees that could get them to the title game.

1) Indianapolis Colts

Play your starters. If Peyton Manning is on the field for the whole 60 minutes each game they should be favored to win it all.

2) New Orleans Saints

The Best Show on Turf, Part II. Air it out, damnit.  You have Brees and Colston and Meacham and Bush and Henderson and Moore and Bell and…

Odds of winning it all; 70/30, since all roads in the NFC run through Louisiana.

3) San Diego Chargers

Keep letting opponents think LT is still the LT of Auld Lang Syne and let Rivers, Gates, Jackson and Sproles do their thing. They may be the most dangerous team in the playoffs and have just as good a chance to win the big one as any team.

4) Minnesota Vikings

The “Jim Zorn” treatment needs to be layed down on Brad Childress.  If he was such a great coach, why did he need to recruit Favre out of retirement? 

Take away his play calling as it’s evident; Favre has a better idea of how to make the team successful than Childress does. Childress saved his job by getting Favre to lead the team, but still thinks he’s the maniacal genius. His coaching worked so well without Favre last year.

Brad, check your ego at the door and let the Legend lead your team in the playoffs. Oh yeah, and run Peterson outside the tackles. 

Odds of winning it all: slightly better than even.

5) Philadelphia Eagles

Stop TRYING to win the Super Bowl and just do it!

How many times have they made it to the NFC Championship?

Just ride Jackson and McNabb to the title and hope the return of Westbrook ignites a spark similar to fireworks going off at midnight on December 31st.

Odds of winning it all: pretty good if they can just win the NFC Championship game.

6) New England Patriots

Here’s the story of man named Brady. Re-solve your Super Bowl woes by riding the chosen one to a final Swan Song of the decade. Sure, Moss and Welker are instrumental, but Tom carries the magic that makes the machine go “Click, Click, Boom”.

Odds of winning it all: pretty good considering all the focus is on the Chargers and Colts.  When least expected, they could surprise.

7) Cincinatti Bengals

Stop thinking about Chris Henry. The team’s solution and salvation is to keep the “us against the world” attitude that got them where they are. Henry wasn’t going to help with a broken arm and he can’t help now. Keep him in memory and let Benson and Ochenta y Cinco take you all the way.

Odds of winning it all: IMPOSSIBLE! (see how that works well with the “us-against-the-world” analogy?)

8) Dallas Cowboys

A quick and easy solution is to win a game in the playoffs. Talk about Kryptonite. Shed the moniker of not winning in the post season and ride the momentum to the promised land.

Odds of winning it all: the same as winning one game in the playoffs.

9) Arizona Cardinals

Re-activate the magic from last year’s playoff run to take a shot at another Super Bowl appearance. The solution is as easy as Larry Fitzgerald making the big plays he did last year. That will open it up for Boldin and Beanie and Hightower. Look for Warner to retire soon, so this might be his last chance at a Super New Year’s Resolution.

Odds of winning it all: pretty good as long as they’re an underdog the whole way.

10) Green Bay Packers

Motley Crue may have summed it up best when they crooned; “Don’t go away mad, just go away.” Favre did and they found their New Year’s Solution for the next decade or two in Aaron Rogers. He’s a stud, and the Pack doesn’t even remember Favre, right?

Just keep “Buck Rodgers”, Jennings, Driver, and Grant on the downhill slope and nobody will want to face them.

Odds of winning it all: not good since few have ridden the Inter-Galactic Wild Card to the Super Bowl.

11) New York Jets

Re-solve to find a way to get their playoff opponents to rest their starters for one and half quarters and they have a chance. The Jets shouldn’t be in the playoffs, but they might make it regardless of a tough schedule and a rookie quarterback.

Odds of winning it all: the same as teams resting their starters in the playoffs—Zero!

12) Denver Broncos

Maybe their solution would be to not go 6-0 to start the season. They may be the only team to not make the playoffs when performing such a feat. Their real solution is to add another threat to their offense besides Brandon Marshall. Where is Eddie Money when you need him? Oops, I meant Eddie Royal. He’s probably where his season has been; on the “Royal” throne.

Odds of winning it all: less likely than their odds of making it to the playoffs!

13) Baltimore Ravens, Pittsburgh Steelers, Houston Texans, Miami Dolphins

Resolution, Schmesolutions!

If getting to the playoffs is a monumental struggle, getting through the playoffs is like challenging a Sicilian when death is on the line; inconceivable (reference to “The Princess Bride)! Sorry, guys, no cake can be baked starting the process without flour and eggs.

Odds of… never mind.

The solutions are there. Resolutions are for us normal folk who work real jobs. However, they are both about as realistic. We all like to imagine the improbable, but few actually take the steps to achieve it.

Read more NFL news on BleacherReport.com

Tarkenton Judging Favre, Now That’s Incredible!

Francis Asbury Tarkenton was a great quarterback. He is a Hall of Famer, was the league’s MVP, and he held most of the passing and rushing records when he retired.

Francis made some comments yesterday on the Minnesota Vikings’ signing of Brett Favre.

Francis has co-hosted a corny TV show (“That’s Incredible”), was a Monday Night Football commentator, and founded Tarkenton Software.

Does that mean “Scramblin’ Fran” is also in a position to criticize Ed McMahon, John Madden, and Bill Gates?

Yeah, didn’t think so. Francis, you embarrassed yourself with your comments and you need to just shut up.

It all comes across as if you ate your Wheaties this morning realizing they came out of a box with Brett’s picture on it.

Let’s analyze what “Frantic Fran” had to say:

1) “…the last time I heard … football was a team sport, isn’t it? It’s not just about the quarterback.”

The last time I heard, Fran was a scrambling quarterback who often decided he needed to run around and draw attention to his own running ability rather than make a pass to one of his teammates.

Sure, some of his scrambles turned into a great play where nothing was available, but most of them turned into a 30 second highlight replay of a three-yard loss.

Favre has consistently involved all his receivers and tight ends in his successes and failures. Crazy legs Tarkenton thought of his own ability first and then passed second.

Fran was so focused on his own need to run the ball that he butted heads with head coach Norm Van Brocklin. So much that it initiated his trade to the Giants.

Team player? I’ll take the guy who has thrown more to his teammates than anyone else in history. The guy who is applauded by all the guys he’s played with as a leader and teammate. The guy who can retire twice and still be welcomed back to a new team with open arms.

2) “I think he has been a great flamboyant quarterback…”

Fran was a flamboyant quarterback. His skinny stature and “run first” attitude made him look like a third-grader running from the sixth-grade school bully.

Compared to “Sir Francis” (as Howard Cosell referred to Tarkenton), Favre comes across more like Grizzly Adams than flamboyant.

Flamboyancy? Advantage Flamcis, er, Francis.

3) “…he has made more stupid plays than any great quarterback that I’ve ever seen.”

Is Fran really going there? Yeah, Favre has thrown more interceptions than anyone else, but he’s also thrown more touchdowns, yards, completions, attempts, etc.

Favre makes mistakes because he is competitive and tries to do things others won’t attempt. Sometimes it ends up as a touchdown and sometimes as a pick-6.

Frankie apparently didn’t “see” himself playing because he made some really stupid plays. Then again, he did say “more stupid plays than any great quarterback…”

Stupid plays? Going to say Francis had just as many stupid plays and less success. Brett had more plays that ended up on the positive side of the ledger.

4) “Wouldn’t you be upset if you’re a Packer fan? I think you’re going to have Packer fans burning the No. 4 Favre Green Bay jersey. I think the Packer fans have every right to be outraged.”

Fran, you played for the Vikings. Twice. You should be thrilled that Packers fans are upset. Isn’t that the best case scenario for Vikings fans? Doesn’t that really enhance the rivalry?

The Vikings made a move that makes them a better team and you’re critical of it because you don’t like the guy who holds all your records? Get over it. Team player, huh?

Packer’s fans? I guess Fran’s true colors are showing through. At least Favre commented on how much the Green Bay teams and players still mean to him.

5) “…here comes Brett Favre riding in on his white horse, doesn’t go to training camp, doesn’t come to offseason workouts and he’s gonna come on his white horse and bond with all these players.”

Wow. Does Fran also hate white horses? “Pouting Fran” thinks Favre is a prima donna.

Reminds me of something my brother used to say, “how come he gets to stay up and I have to go to bed?”

Well, Fran, because Brett has run the offense for 16 years and doesn’t need to practice it. He also just had surgery on his shoulder and in case you weren’t aware of it, he wasn’t officially on the team until Tuesday and he was on the practice field the second he became a Viking.

Brett’s not the first person in the NFL to miss training camp. Fran needs to check out the long list of contract hold outs (draft picks and veterans), players faking injuries, and players who get special treatment because of their value to the team before he singles out one specific player.

Fran played in a time where training camp was like a vacation comparatively. Maybe Fran is a little upset that he was never treated special.

Bonding in training camp? Bonding with all your teammates in training camp really helped you lose those three Super Bowls you were in, right, Fran?

6) “…Look at his final game in a Packers uniform. He blew that game.”

Ah-hah! The coup d’etat! Fran has jumped on the final, painful, lasting memory of Green Bay fans to really vilify Favre.

It was Favre’s last game in Green Bay and he failed after they dominated the regular season with a 13-3 record. It was his interception that led to the field goal in overtime. He almost gave the game away in the fourth quarter with his interception.

Let’s face it, Fran, the game was a classic. The weather was more suited for a scrambler as it was negative three degrees at kickoff. There were lead changes throughout the game and it ended in OT with an improbable field goal that nobody really thought had a chance in those weather conditions and with that amount of pressure.

The Giants weren’t pushovers either. Remember Fran, they went on to beat the unbeatable Patriots in the Super Bowl.

Favre passed for both of Green Bay’s touchdowns in the game including a 71 yard completion to Donald Driver which is the longest play in Green Bay playoff history.

It also extended his NFL record (jealous again, Fran?) of 18 straight playoff games throwing a touchdown.

Fran, do you remember the 1974 playoff game against Dallas? The Vikings were 12-2 during the regular season. Dallas was 8-6.

Dallas won the game on the first “Hail Mary,” but Tarkenton wasn’t really a factor in the game. The Vikings scored TDs on 1 yard runs, twice (one that was set up by a muffed punt).

Dallas went on to lose the Super Bowl to Pittsburgh, which had a quarterback named Terry Bradshaw who won four Super Bowl rings (Sorry, Fran, cheap shot).

Hmmm. Francis loses three Super Bowls and can’t get to the big game the season his team is most dominant? Can’t even help as a “team player” with one lousy touchdown pass?

In Favre’s worst playoff games at least he had 18 straight with a minimum of one touchdown pass.

7) “I asked a few friends here, maybe 10 or 12 people we were out with last night. I said, ‘What do you think about Brett Favre going back to the Vikings?’ You know who cared? Nobody.”

I know somebody who cared. His name is Francis “Crybaby” Tarkenton.

The Vikings are trying to win a Super Bowl. If Brett can accomplish it in his first year with Minnesota, it would really make Tarkenton look even more like a flamboyant, selfish, scrambling, underachieving quarterback who made more stupid mistakes than any great quarterback in history.

Francis is a legend and a Hall of Fame quarterback. He held all the records and is the Minnesota Vikings’ most recognizable player.

“Chattin’ Fran” showed his football knowledge as a commentator on MNF.

Frankie has gone to Hollywood and became a household name to those who never saw him play.

Sir Francis started a computer company that eventually was taken over by another company.

He is no Ed McMahon. He is no John Madden. He is no Bill Gates. He is no Brett Favre.

He has no room to pass judgment on Favre. Favre has moved on. So should Green Bay fans.

So should Fran Tarkenton. He should realize that and shut up.

Now, that would be incredible.

Michael Vick, Do the Right Things

Michael Vick is back in the National Football League and with his reinstatement in the league and brand new deal with the Philadelphia Eagles, comes the rampant outrage by those who feel Vick is the Devil incarnate.

Vick did horrible unspeakable acts against man’s best friend. He abused (killed, tortured) living creatures for his own entertainment and financial gains. Vick’s actions were despicable and inexcusable.

We are, however, a society of second chances. To err is human.

Every person who has graced this planet with their presence has made a mistake.

Every person has done something they are ashamed of.

The NFL has a history of those who have committed terrible offenses: drunk driving/manslaughter (Donte Stallworth); child and spousal abuse/murder (Ray Caruth); dealing drugs (Travis Henry).

Every second of the day, thousands of people in this country are committing illegal or immoral acts: shoplifting, cheating on a test, adultery, using performance enhancing drugs, telling a lie to get out of work, etc.

He who is without sin cast the first stone.

As a culture we will never forget what Vick did to those dogs. We will never see him in the same light as prior to the chain of events that led to his prison sentence.

Awesome!

This will allow us to benefit from such a horrific situation. It will also allow Vick to make some sort of reparation for his actions: If he does the right things!

No event in history has positively affected the awareness of animal cruelty.

Ever.

Not the Spotted Owl movement. Not the fight against killing whales and baby seals. Not the “Dolphins in the Tuna Nets” cause that led to a huge marketing event by those who wanted to charge more for the “dolphin safe” tuna.

We tend to learn very little from subtle ripples. Splash some water on the beach and nobody notices. Create a tsunami that wipes out every thing in its path and we start to pay attention. We research the cause of the tsunami. We take steps to avoid such future devastation.

We learn from what we experience, especially in extreme environments: Slavery, the Holocaust, Apartheid, Guantanamo Bay.

There are constant injustices the human race has inflicted against its own humanity and the more heinous the event, the more we learn from it,  the more we move towards preventing it from ever happening again.

Does anyone in America not know who Michael Vick is?

Has it altered our behaviors to not discipline our own dogs because it chewed through the new couch cushions?

Do we hug and pet and feed our dogs better now because of how disgusted we were by the news of what Vick had done?

The day the news broke about the atrocities that Vick participated in and may have even been the driving force behind, was the day every dog fighting ring in America took notice and shut their doors.

Attention to illegal and immoral activities can effectively eliminate those activities.

Michael Vick needs to earn his second chance. There are three steps that Vick can take to reestablish himself as worthy of a second chance.

1. Continue his maturation process that appears to have begun with his time in prison. Grow as a person and become less selfish. Think of how his actions can and will effect others and participate accordingly with only good intentions. 
2. Separate himself from anyone prone to participate in illegal or immoral activity. Everyone makes mistakes, but surrounding himself with those less prone to make inappropriate choices and with higher moral and ethical standards, will help keep Vick’s moral compass more likely to point in the right direction.
3. Use his money, his influence, and his notoriety to keep the issue of animal cruelty in the forefront of our consciousness, this time for all the right reasons.

Vick will never be forgiven. His actions will never be forgotten.

Great!

Let him and society learn from his mistakes, atone for his injustices. He has done more for the cause against animal cruelty than any protests against him will ever do.

Let him earn his second chance. His participation in the NFL will only enhance our fight for animal rights…if he does the right things!

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