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Top Five Most Memorable Cincinnati Bengals Games from the Decade

Published: January 1, 2010

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As 2010 begins, the Cincinnati Bengals will be starting the new decade off just right by entering the playoffs as a No. 3 or No. 4 seed and at least one home game at Paul Brown Stadium.

Over the last 10 years, the Bengals have seen just two winning seasons. In 2005, they finished the season with an 11-5 record and made the playoffs for the first time since 1990.

Cincinnati and their fans have seen some memorable games over the last decade and hope to continue this trend over the next 10 years. As a treat to ring in the new decade and celebrate New Year’s Day, here are the top five most memorable games for the Bengals from the last decade.

Honorable Mention Sept. 16, 2007: Cincinnati Bengals 45 , Cleveland Browns 51

This game would have meant more to Cincinnati and their fans if the Bengals had actually won the game. On the positive note, at least the game was still exciting to watch.

In the second week of the 2007 regular season, the Bengals and Browns went back and fourth in scoring in what ended up being the eighth highest-scoring game in NFL history.

Carson Palmer arguably had one of the best performances of his career, finishing 33-of-50 for 401 yards and a franchise record six touchdowns. Unfortunately, Browns quarterback Derek Anderson almost performed just as well, completing 20-of-38 passes for 328 yards and five touchdowns.


5. December 18, 2005: Cincinnati Bengals 41, Detroit Lions 17

2005 was the first time in 15 years the Bengals reached the postseason. In a 41-17 win over Detroit in Week 15, Cincinnati clinched the AFC North. They would finish the year with an 11-5 record (they won over the 11-5 Pittsburgh Steelers due to a better record against divisional opponents).

They would go on lose to the Steelers in the first round of the playoffs after Palmer suffered a knee injury on the second offensive play of the game, but it was still a memorable season for the Bengals.

For so long, the fan base in Cincinnati had been waiting for a winning season and a trip to the playoffs. The win over the Lions secured both for the Bengals, which is a game that will always be remembered by fans.

4. November 16, 2008: Cincinnati Bengals 13, Philadelphia Eagles 13

Prior to the game, the 5-4 Eagles came in as heavy favorites over the 1-8 Bengals. With Palmer out most of the season due to an elbow injury, Ryan Fitzpatrick led the offense but was nowhere near as effective.

Even with all of their struggles that season, Cincinnati still managed to compete with a very talented Philadelphia squad as wide receiver T.J. Houshmandzadeh tied a career high with 12 receptions for 149 yards and one touchdown. The defense picked off Donovan McNabb three times and forced him to fumble once in what ended up being the first tie in the NFL since 2002 between the Pittsburgh Steelers and Atlanta Falcons.

While the game ended in a tie, the Bengals had a chance to seal the win after kicker Shayne Graham missed a 47-yard field goal as time expired in overtime. For once, both set of fans were frustrated with the outcome of the game.

3. October 30, 2005: Cincinnati Bengals 21, Green Bay Packers 14

The Bengals improved to 6-2 after their win over the Packers during Week Eight of the 2005 regular season thanks to a strong performance by their defense against one of the all-time greatest quarterbacks.

Not only did the defense sack Packers quarterback Brett Favre twice, but they intercepted him five times in one of the worst games of his career. Odell Thurman and Deltha O’Neal each had two interceptions while Tory James recorded one.

The rest of the season is history as Cincinnati went on to win the AFC North title and make their first playoff appearance since 1990.

2. September 27, 2009: Cincinnati Bengals 23, Pittsburgh Steelers 20

Entering the 2009 season, Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger started off his NFL career 11-0 against teams in the state of Ohio. On top of that, Pittsburgh had won their last eight games played in Cincinnati. It wasn’t just the fact that both streaks came to an end in Week Three this season, but how it was done.

With the Bengals trailing 20-9 at the beginning of the fourth quarter, Palmer rallied his team to score 14 points to make a statement that the defending Super Bowl Champions and the Baltimore Ravens were not the only contenders in the AFC North.

After running back Cedric Benson found the end zone on a 23-yard run, Palmer capped off the rally with a four-yard touchdown pass to wide receiver Andre Caldwell with 14 seconds left on 2nd-and-goal. Two plays prior, Palmer found running back Brian Leonard on 4th-and-10 from the Pittsburgh 15 to gain a first down thanks to a miraculous second effort.

It doesn’t take rocket science to figure out how much the fans of Cincinnati love to beat Pittsburgh. Without a doubt, this was the sweetest win for the Bengals over their division rivals.


1. November 16, 2003: Cincinnati Bengals 24, Kansas City Chiefs 19

Throughout his nine-year career, Bengals wide receiver Chad Ochocinco has built a reputation as a player who enjoys having fun by running his mouth against not only players, but teams. In 2003, he made one of the biggest—and craziest—predictions of his career.

In Week 11 of the 2003 regular season, Ochocinco made a prediction that the 5-4 Bengals would upset the 9-0 Chiefs at Paul Brown Stadium. As crazy as it sounded at the time, Ochocinco—who went by Johnson back then—and the Bengals came through in the 24-19 upset.

Ochocinco finished the day with seven receptions for 74 yards while Peter Warrick led the team with six receptions for 114 yards and one touchdown. Rudi Johnson also carried the team on the ground, rushing for 165 yards on just 22 carries.

Of course, Cincinnati would have come through without the impressive performance of their defense, who shut down Chiefs running back Priest Holmes. While he finished the regular season with 1,420 yards rushing and 27 touchdowns, Holmes was kept out of the end zone by a Bengals defense who held him to just 62 yards on 16 carries.

Even though the Bengals just missed the playoffs that season with an 8-8 record, their win over the previously undefeated Chiefs was one of the best games of the decade. For the first time in a while, the fans of Cincinnati felt confident of what their future held with new head coach Marvin Lewis.

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Mark My Words: The Minnesota Vikings Need Colt McCoy in 2010

Published: January 1, 2010

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Over the past few years, the Minnesota Vikings have done an incredible job of using both the draft and free agency to build a talented team. The signings of Jared Allen, Steve Hutchinson, and Brett Favre were incredible moves.

Draft picks like Adrian Peterson, Sidney Rice, Percy Harvin, and Phil Loadholt also turned out to be great decisions. This year, though, is a make-or-break year when it comes to the Vikings’ offseason.

Should Brett Favre finally retire for good, the Vikings would be left once again without a franchise quarterback. However, should Favre stay for one more season, the Vikings still don’t have a viable option at quarterback in 2011.

With a draft pick likely in the 25-32 range, quarterbacks Jimmy Clausen and Sam Bradford will likely be out of reach in 2010. However, one player who seems to be sliding down draft boards for no apparent reason is Colt McCoy.

The Vikings benefited from the sliding of Adrian Peterson and Percy Harvin on draft day, and could benefit once more should McCoy be available for them.

While scouts knock McCoy’s arm strength and Texas’ shotgun-heavy offense, I see McCoy as a great fit for the Vikings. Colt McCoy is one of the most accurate passers in college football history.

McCoy is also a great passer outside of the pocket and on the move, which translates well to the Vikings play-action-heavy attack.

While McCoy has not shown a great ability to convert in the vertical passing game, he is incredibly smart and accurate on short and intermediate routes. In the Vikings’ West Coast offense, McCoy could be great. McCoy’s arm strength grades out at above-average, but not great; so he could be a decent deep-ball thrower in the future.

Scouts seem to be obsessed with Sam Bradford and Jimmy Clausen, despite each quarterback having similar question marks. Neither Clausen or Bradford has elite arm strength. Bradford also played in a shotgun-heavy offense and is recovering from surgery on his throwing arm.

While I might take Bradford or Clausen before McCoy, I see McCoy as an incredible value in the late first round. He should grade out to be an above-average quarterback down the road.

Best case scenario:

  1. As scouts predict, McCoy is available when the Vikings select at the end of the first round and the Vikings take him.
  2. Brett Favre returns to play one last season with the Vikings, allowing McCoy to learn from him for a year.

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Week 17: Philadelphia Eagles vs. Dallas Cowboys

Published: January 1, 2010

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The Dallas Cowboys host the Philadelphia Eagles in the final game of the regular season with the NFC East title on the line.

The Eagles are riding a six-game winning streak into big D, and with a win, they clinch the No. 2 seed in the NFC playoffs.

Donovan McNabb will be looking to have a better game against the Cowboys than the last time he matched up against them. In Week Nine, McNabb was 16 for 30 for 226 yards, one TD, and one INT. The Cowboys’ defense took away the big plays for McNabb and forced him into small gains when he scrambled.

DeSean Jackson also wants to show the Cowboys he can play. Coming off his Pro Bowl invite, Jackson had just two catches for 29 yards in his last game against the Cowboys and was targeted just five times. McNabb will target him more in this game, even if it’s not deep. Expect him to run a reverse or a play in the wildcat formation.

Brent Celek will also be a factor in the passing game. McNabb loves to find Celek on third downs, and Celek doesn’t disappoint, ranking second on the team in catches (69), yards (875), and TDs (eight). Celek is also playing with a chip on his shoulder after being snubbed by voters for the Pro Bowl.

The Eagles’ running game is back to full strength with Brian Westbrook coming back from post-concussion syndrome, which will help the Eagles run their screen game. The emergence of LeSean McCoy has also helped the Eagles.

This season, McCoy has 154 carries for 633 yards and four TDs. The Eagles won’t run anymore than 25 times, but expect them to run their screen game to combat the Cowboys’ aggressive front seven.

The Eagles defense is very aggressive in the front seven and secondary. Trent Cole and Jaqua Parker have had great seasons as the Eagles’ defensive ends, combining for 86 tackles and 19.5 sacks.

The key for the Eagles defense is their secondary. The last time around, the Eagles let Roy Williams go off (for him anyway) for five catches and 75 yards and gave up the game winning score on a 49-yard TD catch by Miles Austin. Sheldon Brown and Pro Bowler Asante Samuel have to stay at home because the Cowboys will use a lot of double moves in this game to free up their receivers.

The Eagles’ front seven will generate pressure, which could force Tony Romo into some bad throws, and Samuel, as well as Brown, could get opportunities to force turnovers.

The Cowboys were blown out 44-6 against the Eagles last year, but this year they’re the home team and they want to return the favor to the Eagles.

Romo had a great December, and he wants to turn that into a solid January. He’s kept his interceptions down and kept the Cowboys in games. Sunday will be no different, so expect Romo to keep Dallas in this game with short passes to Jason Witten and Austin.

Roy Williams had a big game in the first matchup between these two, catching five passes for 75 yards, and after coming out and saying it’s his fault that Romo has lost trust in him, expect him to be focused on having another big game against the Eagles. 

Marion Barber and Felix Jones combined for over 100 yards last week, but were stopped on short yardage situations three times. The Cowboys have to run the ball successfully in order to have a chance at winning. Expect Smash and Dash to share the carries 50-50.

Tashard Choice will come in on wildcat situations, and after last week’s busted double reverse, expect the Cowboys to be conservative in the wildcat.

Defensively, the Cowboys have not given up more than 20 points in the last three games. Bradie James (108) and Keith Brooking (106) are first and second on the team in tackles. Jay Ratliff will be counted on to stop LeSean McCoy and Leonard Weaver, whose role has increased in recent weeks.

DeMarcus Ware and Anthony Spencer will look to rush McNabb and put him on the ground several times. Look for the Cowboys to run stunts inside to neutralize McNabb and stop him from stepping up in the pocket and scrambling.

The biggest key for the Cowboys defense is their secondary. They need to keep the Eagles from making big plays in the pass game. Mike Jenkins will be seeing a lot of Jackson, and he did a good job against him in the first matchup. Orlando Scandrick will have help in the slot, but needs to start jumping some balls; he’s too conservative.

Ken Hamlin will be the quarterback in the secondary, and he has to make sure everyone is lined up or else somebody will get beat deep.

This will be a close, low-scoring game. The Eagles’ big plays will be limited, and because of that, they’ll find it hard to score. The Cowboys will try to run a lot in the first half, but they won’t be successful and that’ll leave them in a lot of 3rd-and-long situations.

Dallas will win this game. They’ll be at home and don’t want to be embarrassed like they were last year. Romo will have another solid game and the Cowboys will ride a third quarter lead into the fourth, where they’ll hang on until the end on defense. Cowboys, 24-20.

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Attention Philadelphia Eagles: Macho Harris Is Not a Kick Returner

Published: January 1, 2010

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Hear this, Macho—you stink as a kick returner.  But the let’s not stop there.  You’re play all over the field has been less than stellar.

To start, Macho Harris has shown us that he’s not ready to be the starter at free safety. His tackling is, let’s say, iffy at best, and he hasn’t show a grasp on Sean McDermott’s defense. Now his current issues revolve about his lack of skills as a kick returner.

However, that’s not going to stop Andy Reid from stubbornly sticking with the rookie safety out of Virginia Tech while Quintin Demps nurses a sprained ankle.

Let’s put aside his bottom-of-the-barrel return average for a second, because it doesn’t really matter you average 90 yards per return if you can’t hold on to the football. Even after two fumbles against the Denver Broncos nearly cost the Eagles the game, he’s, for some reason, still returning kicks.

One of those fumbles was a direct result of being afraid of contact. He’s shown that same fear while playing safety, so it isn’t a shock to see him brace for the impact of the tackle. But what happens when an NFL player is afraid to get hit?

He gets hit harder.

That’s what happened to Harris, who could then do nothing as the Broncos recovered his fumble and turned it into a touchdown. Then, on another kickoff, he had the ball poked out again. This time, fortunately, Victor Abiamiri was close by and was able to fall on it and keep possession.

Were it not for Abiamiri, it would have been disaster. The Broncos would have gotten the ball in great field position with a field goal almost guaranteed and a good shot at getting into the end zone.

So, remind me again why Harris is keeping his job.

Attention Andy Reid, this is not the week to be stubborn in your ways. Too much is at stake, and a division title can’t be put in jeopardy by some rookie who doesn’t like to get hit. At the very least, put someone back there who can withstand the impact and hold on to the football. I don’t care if he gets to the 20-yard line and falls down.

Eldra Buckley seems like a guy who could accomplish this. He’s a guy looking to make an impact and, who knows, may just break one. However, what I am certain of is that Buckley is a guy who’s not afraid of getting hit and I’d bet that would not put the ball on the ground.

So let’s end the Macho Harris experiment and get a capable kick returner on the field.

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Buffalo Bills All-Decade Team: Offense

Published: January 1, 2010

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With the first decade of the millenium just coming to an end, I have decided to take a look at the best of the favorites on the Buffalo Bills of the past ten seasons on the offensive side of the ball.

Although the last decade has been filled with sorrow and tragedy for our beloved Bills, these players will always stand out in the hearts of Buffalo fans, for the drive they played with, and the excitement they brought to the city as a whole.

Missing the playoffs for an entire decade is tough, but these guys made it easier to bear the embarrasment, and give us all hope.

Begin Slideshow


Where Now for the Oakland Raiders?

Published: January 1, 2010

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After what must be classified as yet another disappointing season, the Oakland Raiders stand once again at a crossroads. Little within the organization remains stable, and that includes the two most important positions on the team—head coach and quarterback.

In order to go forward, we need to know where we are going, and who with.

I don’t think that anyone would like to put their house on whether Tom Cable will return next year as head coach or not, JaMarcus Russell is on the bench and out of favour, and Bruce Gradkowski is a free agent at the end of the year.

The head coach and quarterback questions need answering as soon as possible.

It may be on Sunday that the team is playing for Cable’s job, or it may be that this decision has already been made. Either way, how this team performs against a Baltimore Ravens team with everything to play for will say a lot about them. They have shown a brand of tenacity and pride already this season that has been sadly lacking in years past, and a win would give them a 6-10 record.

Not much on the face of it, but it would be the best record the franchise has had since 2002-03.

The revolving door of coaches since then has been a hugely negative force within the team, and players have struggled to reach their potential due to the lack of continuity surrounding coaching styles and systems.

In a recent poll on the Bleacher Report, more than two-thirds of fans thought Cable should stay at least for an extra year. Cable clearly has the locker room with him, and he also has solid if not overwhelming support from the Raider Nation. Maybe Cable was right when he said that this team would be in the playoffs with even average play at quarterback, maybe not. But this team would certainly have been better.

One more win? Two? Three? I don’t know, but it would have at least brought us back to respectability.

The other question to ask is if Cable gets fired, who replaces him?

A huge factor here is that over the last six years the Oakland Raiders have been a coaches graveyard, and the list of candidates for the job will consist mainly of retreads or the unproven and underqualified.

So my plea to Al Davis is to give this organization some stability by making it clear where we are going as soon as possible. At the end of the season, announce that Cable will be here next year, and sign Bruce Gradkowski to a new contract (plus pay him some decent money). That way the whole team gets some stability and focus for next year.

Pay the quarterback who produced for us, and make sure we hang on to him. 

Once that is done, we can start sorting out the run defense and the offensive line.

And finally, a very happy new year to all those in the Raider Nation, and I hope this year is better than the last.

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Fourth & 1 Debate: Fantasy Football Sleeper Keepers

Published: January 1, 2010

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Before we get started, check out my Week 17 NFL picks .

Hatty, of www.hattywaiverwireguru.com , was responsible for this week’s Fourth & 1 Roundtable debate topic.

Click here to see the full article .

 

This Week’s Topic :

“The regular season is almost over and dynasty leaguers are picking their keepers. Everyone knows to keep Fitzgerald, Peterson, and the like, but who are some sleeper keepers for next year?”

My Response :

The first name that comes to mind is Miles Austin .

He enters this week with 1230 receiving yards and 11 TDs. His numbers are bloated by the 421 yards and 4 TDs he had before and after the Cowboys’ bye, as he had seven games with fewer than 50 yards receiving.

Still, he’s a big, strong WR that will turn 26 this Summer. He has a good rapport with Tony Romo and should continue to develop into one of the league’s best WRs. The only issue I see is his contract, but rest assured, Jerry Jones won’t let his prized WR walk away.

Another keeper that came out of nowhere was Jamaal Charles . When you look at his production from Week 10 on you can’t help but wonder why he wasn’t given an opportunity sooner.

Charles showed he could handle the full load, averaging 21.8 carries in Weeks 13-16. He also showed the ability to catch the ball out of the backfield with 39 receptions entering Week 17. Finally, he showed big play ability. He truly was Chris Johnson Lite the last half of the year, and makes an intriguing keeper option heading into 2010.

Panelists
RC of www.junkyardjake.com
Ryan Lester of www.lesterslegends.com
Paul Greco of www.fantasypros911.com
Bryce McRae of www.kffl.com
Kurt Turner of www.top-fantasy-football.com
Lee of www.footballjabber.com
Smitty of www.fantasyfootballxtreme.com
Jacob of www.fantasyfootballfools.com
Hatty of www.hattywaiverwireguru.com

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NFL Week 17 Predictions: Ins and Outs

Published: January 1, 2010

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Note: the quotes in this article are fictional.

San Francisco @ St. Louis (+7)

With a win in St. Louis, the 49ers would finish 8-8, with a winning percentage just slightly lower than Alex Smith’s completion percentage, but much higher than the typical percentage fee charged by bail bondsmen, or, as known to Michael Crabtree, “agent responsible for negotiating my financial security.”

“Hey, I’ve learned a lot this year,” says Crabtree. “Most importantly, the fact that in contract negotiations, it’s best if your agent doesn’t carry a sidearm. I’ve heard of signing contracts with a ballpoint, but never at gunpoint.

“And speaking of ‘warning shots,’ a win over the Rams would give us a 5-1 division record, best in the West, and would signal to our division rivals that there’ll be a new sheriff in town come 2010.

“And said sheriff’s gun won’t be just for show. With the Christmas season past us, sightings of flying reindeer will become just as rare as sightings of ‘winning’ Rams. In St. Louis, we’ll prove that men are men, and sheep are nervous.”

Frank Gore rushes for 102 yards and a touchdown, and the 49ers ground out a 24-20 win.

 

NY Giants @ Minnesota (-9)

With reasons for motivation in abundance, the Giants played with a total lack of it in a 41-9 destruction at the hands of the Panthers last week.

Sunday’s game was the last at Giants Stadium, and New York was desperate for a win to strengthen hope for a playoff berth, but the G-Men laid an egg anyway, turning the ball over four times and surrendering 247 yards on the ground.

“One would think,” says Eli Manning, “that with Lawrence Taylor in attendance, we would have gone out there and played like a bunch of crazed dogs. But the presence of a ‘slimmed down’ Taylor doesn’t quite pack the motivational punch of a ‘coked up’ Taylor. In a time of year when many make vows to be better, we showed very little ‘New York resolution.'”

The Giants will face the Vikings, who lost for the third time in their last four game with a 36-30 overtime loss at Chicago on Monday night. Minnesota would clinch the number two seed with a win and a Philadelphia loss, while a loss would drop them to either the number three or four seed.

“That’s right,” says Brad Childress. “It’s a case of an NFC power struggle. Oh no, I’m not talking about the Vikings, Eagles, and Cardinals. I’m talking about Brett Favre and myself battling over who’s making decisions on this team.

“You would think Favre would acquiesce at least once in his life, but when have we known Favre to ‘walk away’ from anything in his career? Does he think just because he’s one of the NFL’s all-time greats he can do as he please?

“Maybe he should star in a movie called There’s Something About Legend-ary . You know, Joe Montana had no trouble at all walking away from the game. And nothing could drag him back, not even an exorbitant appearance fee to show up at Super Bowl XL in celebration of the games’ MVPs.”

Vikings win, 31-24.

 

Jacksonville @ Cleveland (-3)

Just four weeks ago, the Jaguars were 7-5 and first in line for one of the AFC’s two wild card berths. Since then, they’ve lost three straight, and although they’re still in contention, they’d need a series of unlikely events to clinch a playoff spot.

“This is Florida,” says Jack Del Rio. “Stranger things have happened. Hopefully, we’ll remain motivated, and maybe a ‘spirited practice’ or two will change the course of history.

“We just need to handle our business and beat the Browns, which won’t be easy in Cleveland Stadium. We’re 2-5 on the road, which is awful, so we need to treat this as if it’s a home game. That will be easy, because there will be about 126 Jag fans in the crowd.

“As for those reports that have the Jags drafting Tim Tebow, as well as Urban Meyer replacing me as coach, well, those Jesus freaks may be able to put people in the pews , but not in the stands . This team doesn’t need to be closer to God; we need to be closer to the Colts.”

The Browns walloped the Raiders 23-9, improving to 4-11 and now riding the wave of a three-game winning streak. Eric Mangini has remained collected in the face of recent front office changes, and that calm demeanor has been the catalyst for the Browns recent run.

“Coach Mangini has a lot of support,” says Joshua Cribbs, “mostly in his girdle. But the attitude in the locker room is a far cry from what it was early in the season. Earlier this year, the team was standing firmly behind him, but that was when asked if we’d take a bullet for him.

“Now, he has our full support, and he’s kept this team together. We’re cool. He’s cool. So cool, in fact, that we no longer call him the ‘Ice Man(gini).’ Now, he goes by the moniker ‘Funky Cold Mangini.'”

Jags finally play like it means something and wins, 23-16 . In the end, though, it doesn’t mean anything.

 

Pittsburgh @ Miami (+3)

The Steelers are 9-7 after a big win against the Ravens, and while their playoff hopes are slim, there’s still a chance Pittsburgh could slip in.

The Steelers need to win in Miami, and would benefit from losses by the Ravens, Jets, Broncos, and Texans.

“Five-game losing streaks tend to loosen your grip on destiny,” says Ben Roethlisberger. “And make your teammates start questioning your toughness. And cause your coach to make unwise decisions, like onside kicking with a lead .

“And make you start doubting whether Head And Shoulders shampoo does, in fact, provide seven benefits to healthy hair, or is there something in it that is keeping your star safety from playing. If there’s one thing this defense is lacking, it’s mettle, ‘hair’ mettle.”

Despite losing to the Texans last week to fall to 7-8, the Dolphins still have a chance to make the playoffs, but the explanation of such a scenario would be a difficult concept to comprehend even for Jets coach Rex Ryan, much less the average football fan.

In fact, Dolphins coach Tony Sparano is himself surprised that the ‘Fins have a chance.

“Just when I think I’m out,” says Sparano, “they pull me back in. That’s what my great-grandfather Vito Sparano said back in ’35 when he tried to get out of the family olive oil business to pursue a career in the circus. And it applies to our playoff chances this year.

“Now, from what I understand, we need to win, and the Jets, Ravens, Broncos, Texans, and Jaguars all need to lose. Sure, the odds are long, but nobody wants to see me throw in the towel, lest not on the season, and especially not in the sauna.”

Steelers win, 27-20 .

 

New England @ Houston (-7)

The Patriots clinched the AFC West with a convincing 35-7 rout of the Jaguars as Randy Moss caught three touchdown passes from Tom Brady.

Since his low point against the Panthers, when his heart was questioned, Moss has caught four TD passes, and the Pats again look like a team to be reckoned with.

“There was never any doubt in my mind that Randy would be ready for the postseason,” says Brady. “When has he ever been caught ‘with his pants down’ in the playoffs? Despite Joe Buck’s overreaction to that incident, Randy did not, in fact, pull his pants down. It was a ‘simulated’ mooning, just as Randy’s effort is often ‘simulated.'”

While the Patriots are in, the Texans are still fighting for a playoff spot, and need a win, plus two losses among the Jets, Broncos, and Ravens.

Houston features the NFL’s yardage leaders in passing and receiving in Matt Schaub and Andre Johnson, respectively.

“Andre is Moss without the drama,” says Schaub, “and the hillbilly homeboy accent.”

“Win or lose, though, you’d have to say we’ve had a successful season. If just a few balls would have gone our way, particularly, two over the crossbar against the Colts, then we’d be facing a vastly different situation right now. That’s why we call our kicker, Kris Brown, by his wife’s name, ‘Miss’ Brown.”

Bill Belichick has said that “whoever plays, plays” in regards to how much his starters will play against the Texans.

Quick, somebody chisel that into a stone tablet so, 1,000 years from now, some genius can translate so everyone will know what the hell those words mean.

Schaub throws for 315 yards and three scores, two to Johnson, and the Texans win, 31-17.

 

Atlanta @ Tampa Bay (-1)

The Bucs stunning overtime defeat of the Saints left many observers doing a double-take, including Saints owner Tom Benson, who unwittingly celebrated a Saints win although New Orleans kicker Garrett Hartley missed the game-winning field goal.

But those double-takes pale in comparison to the “spit-takes” unleashed in reaction to rumors that Bill Cowher may be the new head coach of the Buccaneers.

“Hey, you know what they say about rumors,” says Cadillac Williams. “‘Loose lips sink ships.’ Well, if Cowher is, in fact, headed to Tampa, that saying should be revised to ‘Loose lips rebuild ships.’ But let’s not jump too far ahead on this matter.

“The ink’s not even dry on the contract, nor is the spittle. Raheem Morris is still the coach, but in the world of the impatient Glazer brothers, owners of the Bucs, a coach can be gone in a heartbeat. If you listen closely, you can hear music coming from the pirate ship in the end zone. It’s Nancy Sinatra’s ‘This Plank Was Made For Walking.'”

Atlanta wins, 23-21.

 

New Orleans @ Carolina (-7)

It’s not often a 13-2 team can be classified as “reeling,” but the Saints, who just weeks ago looked like the favorite as NFC champions, have now lost two in a row.

After being bullied by the Cowboys on Dec. 19, the Saints blew a 17-0 lead to the Bucs and lost 20-17 in overtime.

On Sunday, they face a rejuvenated Panthers team that would like nothing more than to knock the Saints down another notch.

“Obviously, we’ve lost our ‘meaux jeaux,'” says Drew Brees. “Maybe it’s lost somewhere in our rush defense, and I’m sure the Panthers, decent people that they are, will offer us ample opportunity to find it.

“But thanks to the Vikings loss on Monday, we’ve clinched homefield advantage throughout the playoffs. And we’ve got to thank the Bears for that. Heck, they owed us. The last time a Bear showed that much generosity, Mike Ditka gave away our entire draft for Ricky Williams.”

The Panthers pasted the Giants 41-9 for their second straight impressive victory after Week 15’s 26-7 win over the Vikings.

Matt Moore threw for 3 touchdowns in the win over the Giants, and has made a strong case to keep the starting job in 2010. Moore is 3-1 in his four starts this year.

“Jake’s stock has sunk like a rock in the swamps of his native state of Louisiana,” says John Fox. “Since he broke his finger and Matt’s started, this team’s done a complete ‘Bayou’-turn. Not only that, but Julius Peppers has lately been playing like a man possessed. And that’s as it should be. At a price of $1 million per game, you’d think we’d need an exorcist to manage Peppers’ ‘possession.'”

Panthers win, 30-20.

 

Philadelphia @ Dallas (-3)

The NFC East title will be on the line when the 10-4 Cowboys host the 11-5 Eagles.

Dallas locked up a playoff spot with a 17-0 win in Washington on Sunday night. If you watched that broadcast on NBC, you saw the video of Jerry Jones saying he didn’t feel the need for a coaching change, although he would like that feeling “ratified” by a playoff win.

The Cowboys’ last postseason success came in 1996.

“I regularly have my feelings ‘ratified’ by beautiful blonde starlets,” says Tony Romo. “But you know Jerry, he’s the only owner who can offer a vote of confidence and and then a backhanded retraction in the same sentence .”

The Eagles, winners of their last six, appear primed for a postseason run much like last year’s, which culminated in a loss in Arizona in the NFC Championship Game.

“We’re certainly the hottest team in the NFC right now,” says Donovan McNabb. “Most of the credit for our success in that span goes to DeSean Jackson, who can break down defenses in a number of ways. He’s carried us. I haven’t seen this many people relying on a ‘Jackson’ since Michael Jackson passed away. His kin give parasites a bad name.

“Anyway, the Cowboys have as much to gain with a win as we do. And just as much to lose. This is truly a ‘loser leaves town’ match. The loser likely goes on the road for the first-round of the playoffs.”

Romo out-duels McNabb, and throws for 245 yards and 2 touchdowns, and the Cowboys win, 34-28.

 

Indianapolis @ Buffalo (-7)

Hey, the Colts used to be members of the AFC East, and a feeling of overwhelming nostalgia must have been responsible for Indianapolis’s seasonal kindness towards their former East rivals.

Jim Caldwell pulled Peyton Manning and several starters in the third quarter, thus enabling the Jets to storm back from a 15-10 deficit to a 29-15 win, a victory which kept their playoff hopes alive.

“And that had to thrill the members of the 1972 Dolphins team,” says Peyton Manning. “With our many undefeated starts, we’ve made it a habit to please those old timers quite often when we lose. You could say we’re like their colostomy bags—we’re the reason they can ‘relieve’ themselves.”

“As you could tell by my agitated state on the sideline, I was not very happy with Jim Caldwell’s decision to pull the starters. But let’s give him credit—it’s the first decision he’s made all year. And who am I to argue with a decision a coach makes? Wait a minute. I change nearly every play called in the huddle.”

The Colts will face a 5-10 Bills team eager for a win, no matter how tainted.

“Hey, if the Colts want to play their second- and third-string,” says Terrell Owens, “it’s fine by us. It might be the first evenly-matched game we’ve played this year. And I think it’s wrong for Colts fans to be upset with Caldwell’s decision. Don’t call the man names. Well, if you must call him a name. why not call him the ‘Skeet Shooter,’ because where his starters are concerned, he’s always saying ‘Pull!'”

Indianapolis wins, 24-21.

 

Chicago @ Detroit (+3)

In the Bears’ 36-30 overtime win over the Vikings on Monday night, Jay Cutler threw for 273 yards and four touchdowns, including the game-winning score in overtime.

“That’s the kind of performance we expected out of Cutler when we traded for him in the offseason,” says Lovie Smith. “Maybe the expectations were just too much for Jay to live up to. God knows Rex Grossman set the bar high.

“In hindsight, the trade wasn’t a good idea. If I had it to do over, I probably would have ordered Cutler and Josh McDaniels to seek couples counseling. It would have done us good had they stayed together. I think we celebrated a little too much here when Cutler arrived. He was feted. Since then, for the most part, he’s been fetid .”

Lions win, 27-24.

 

Washington @ San Diego (-6½)

The Chargers clinched a first-round bye with a 42-17 win on Christmas over the Titans. With the longest current winning streak in the league right now, at 10, many feel that San Diego will be the most dangerous team in the playoffs.

“Do you know what rhymes with ‘first-round bye?'” says Philip Rivers. “‘Evil eye.’ And that’s exactly what we’re giving the Colts. People say lightning doesn’t strike twice. It already has where Indy is concerned. I don’t want to say we’re certain to beat the Colts should we meet. I’m just saying their chances to beat us are far from a ‘lock’; they’re a ‘dead bolt.'”

In Washington, the talk of Mike Shanahan’s hiring has become louder, and Jim Zorn’s firing has become imminent. The ‘Skins suffered their first shutout of the year, falling 17-0 to Dallas last week.

“There’s a lot of unhappy people in Washington,” says Albert Haynesworth. “And I’m one of them, which proves the age-old adage that money, not even $100 million, can buy happiness. It does, however, pay off quite a few fines.

“I would love to have a coach like Mike Shanahan in Washington. Right now, there’s nothing of his caliber in Washington, except for maybe the contents of Gilbert Arenas’ locker.”

San Diego wins, 27-13.

 

Baltimore @ Oakland (+10)

Despite losing to the Steelers last week, the Ravens still have a firm grasp on their playoff destiny, needing a win to qualify.

They have to do that in Oakland against the unpredictable Raiders, a team that has beaten the Steelers and Bengals this year, yet lost to the Browns last week. Ray Lewis and his fellow Ravens know that there is a job to do.

“‘Black Hole’ chore,” quoth the Raven. “‘Black Hole’ chore.”

“Of course, it’s never easy playing in Oakland, especially for the home team. I can’t imagine the pressure of having to please the likes of Darth Vader, Skeletor, and the hordes of other characters that occupy the Black Hole.

“And I’m sure the Grim Reaper is somewhere amidst the crowd. At least he is when he’s not busy tapping Al Davis on the shoulder. But, like the Raiders, those creatures are nothing to fear. The Raiders are mediocre; those beasts are ‘medi-ogres .'”

The lone bright spot in the Raiders’ 23-9 loss in Cleveland last week was kicker Sebastian Janikowski, who booted three field goals, including a 61-yarder, a Raiders record.

“This is something that I’ll remember forever,” says Janikowski. “I’ve had many ‘dates’ in my life, but none of them could ever say that. But ‘records’ don’t really mean much to me, because I already have one. I like my goal posts ‘upright,’ but not my dates.”

Joe Flacco throws for two scores, including the game-winner to Ray Rice, and Baltimore wins, 20-13.

 

Kansas City @ Denver (-11)

It seems that in the AFC, “destiny” is much like a hot potato: no one wants to hold it in their hands.

The Broncos are no exception. In the course of a season, Denver has gone from “sure-fire” AFC West champions (after a 6-0 start) to a “sure-fire” wild card team (8-4 after Week 13) to a team on the bubble.

That’s where they stand now.

After three consecutive losses, the Broncos are 8-7 and win or lose, need lots of help to make the playoffs.

“We’ve made our bed,” says Brandon Marshall, “and now we have to sleep in it. Unfortunately, it’s a bed of nails, which is a might more uncomfortable than former Bronco running back and procreator Travis Henry’s bed of ‘nails.’ I’m not sure what number is higher—my re ceptions, or Henry’s con ceptions.”

“Anyway, I don’t think Josh McDaniels will allow us to lose sight of our goal. He has a special way of motivation us, and can always find just the right word to move us in the right direction. That word starts with ‘f’ and ends with ‘-ers.'”

Marshall has ten catches for 99 yards and a touchdown, and the Broncos win, 24-7 .

 

Green Bay @ Arizona (-3)

With a wild card berth already sealed, all that remains for the Packers is determining their travel plans for the playoffs.

With several NFC seeding scenarios yet to be solidified, Green Bay could very well be making a return trip to Arizona for a wild card playoff game.

“It doesn’t compare to the Lambeau Field ‘mystique,'” says Aaron Rodgers, “but University of Phoenix Stadium has a certain ‘aura’ of its own. I believe it’s called a ‘roof.’ At Lambeau, you can soak up the lore of NFL championships past. You can’t do that at the U of P Stadium, although you can get an online degree.”

Due to Minnesota’s loss last week, the Cardinals have a shot at acquiring the number two seed and a first-round bye.

A win over the Packers, in conjunction with Vikings and Eagles losses, would give Arizona that distinction.

“We’d love to capture that two seed and take a week off,” says Larry Fitzgerald. “And I like our odds. Usually, when you ‘go number two,’ you ‘take a seat.'”

Arizona wins, 31-27.

 

Tennessee @ Seattle (+5)

With both the Titans and the Seahawks eliminated from the playoff picture, all of the attention in Sunday’s game in Seattle will be on Chris Johnson’s pursuit of the NFL rushing yards and yards from scrimmage records.

Johnson needs 233 yards to tie Eric Dickerson’s NFL record of 2,105 set in 1984, and needs only 74 yards to reach Marshall Faulk’s record of 2,429 yards from scrimmage set in 1999.

“It was very kind of the Seahawks to rename their venue Qwest Field on my behalf,” says Johnson. “What’s that? It’s always been called that? That’s too bad.

“Anyway, I’ll be the only brush with greatness the Seahawks have seen this year. Dickerson’s record may be out of reach, but Faulk’s is sure to fall—hard. With apologies to LenDale White, ‘Smash and Dash’ will be a solo project in Seattle.”

Johnson easily surpasses Faulk, racking up 168 yards from scrimmage, but falls short of Dickerson’s mark. However, Johnson rushes for 139 yards, bringing his season total to 2,011, which all but guarantees he’ll grace the cover of EA Sports Madden 2011 game.

Titans win, 24-17.

 

Cincinnati @ NY Jets (-9)

Cincinnati officially clinched the AFC North with a sloppy 17-10 win over the Chiefs, and will enter the playoffs as either the number three or four seed.

That seeding depends on the outcome of the Bengals Sunday night game in the Meadowlands against the Jets, as well as the New England/Houston tilt earlier in the day.

“So, by all accounts,” says Carson Palmer, “we’ll know our position before the game even starts. Let’s assume the Patriots win, which will leave us nothing to play for. In turn, our starters won’t play a full game, thus giving the Jets a likely, and needed, win.

“Apparently, there’s a consensus among playoff teams that they all want the Jets in the playoffs . So, in essence, if the Jets playoff hopes are a hot dog, then their final two games this year are ‘all the fixins,’ because with teams laying down in front of them, they Jets can go ‘all the way’ to the playoffs.”

With a win, the Jets will clinch a playoff spot regardless of what the AFC’s other six wild card contenders do.

“I resent the allegations that the Colts ‘let’ us win,” says Rex Ryan. “And I think it’s ludicrous to surmise that the Bengals will do the same because it’s advantageous for them to face us in the playoffs.

“What do we look like? The gift that keeps on giving? It is, however, ironic that the famous words of Herman Edwards, ‘You play to win the game,’ won’t be heeded by our opponents. So, once again, no one’s listening to Herman.”

Jets wins, 27-10

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Tampa Bay Bucs-Atlanta Falcons Preview: Making 2010 a New Odyssey

Published: January 1, 2010

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Before we begin, I just wanted to wish you and your families a very happy and prosperous New Year.

The dropping of the ball in Times Square always leads to renewed hope. We move into the decade where we should visit Mars, have flying cars (at least that’s what I was told when I was a kid), and the Buccaneers have some hope for a much better 2010 than ’09.

The Buccaneers are coming off their first two-game winning streak since November 2008. What’s more is it’s a two-game winning streak on the road in two of the toughest venues to play in the NFL

Granted, the Seattle Seahags have mailed in the rest of ’09, but the highflying New Orleans Saints certainly hadn’t. Home field advantage was on the line, and they wanted to get themselves back on track before the playoffs.

The Bucs kept the best team in the NFC derailed.

So for their finale, the Bucs entertain another division rival, the Atlanta Falcons, at Raymond James Stadium. The Falcons are also playing for something, back-to-back winning seasons for the first time in their franchise’s history.

What would be better for Tampa Bay than to end the season with the authority of a three-game winning streak and keep one of the more dubious statistics in the NFL alive and well?

 

Tampa Bay Buccaneers Passing game vs. Atlanta Falcons Pass Defense

Josh Freeman had his best day as a pro against the Falcons suspect secondary in their last meeting. Completing 20-of-29 passes for 250 yards, two touchdowns and most importantly, no turnovers.

If Freeman can duplicate that performance in Tampa, the Bucs will have a tremendous chance to win.

On the season, Tampa Bay remains 25th in the league in passing, while the Falcons are 28th against the pass.

Advantage: Tampa Bay

 

Tampa Bay Buccaneers Rushing Attack vs. Atlanta Falcons Rush Defense

The Bucs have had a new dedication to the running game, and they responded with their best consecutive outings of the season. Carnell Williams rushed for over 100 yards in a game for the first time since 2006. He was the battering ram that got the Bucs down the field for the game-winning field goal against the Saints.

Atlanta’s defense is better against the run than it is the pass. In their previous meeting, Atlanta were able to limit the Buccaneers to just 75 yards on the ground.

The Bucs need to a lot more than that to make the play action effective and keep Josh Freeman out of trouble.

Atlanta’s 17th against the run, while the Bucs’ running game is now up to 23rd.

Advantage: Push

 

Atlanta Falcons Passing Game vs. Tampa Bay Buccaneers Pass Defense

Matt Ryan returned behind the center for the Falcons last week against Buffalo. It appears the time off did not hurt him. He tossed for 250 yards and three touchdowns.

The Bucs put heavy pressure on the second -quarterback and knocked Ryan out of the game early in the first meeting. Tampa Bay finished the game with a season high six sacks on Ryan and backup Chris Redman.

Still, Redman was able to pass the Falcons down the field for the game-winning touchdown late.

Tampa Bay has since corrected a lot of their deficiencies in the passing game under head coach Raheem Morris’ play calling. Their 202 passing yards average over the last five games would be good for 6th in the NFL, if played over the course of the season.

Atlanta’s 13th in the league passing the ball.

Advantage: Tampa Bay

 

Atlanta Falcons Running attack vs. Tampa Bay Buccaneers Run Defense

Even under Morris, the Buccaneers continue to struggle in stopping the run. However, in their last meeting with the Falcons, the Bucs managed to limit Atlanta to just 75 yards on the ground.

Michael Turner continues to have issues with his ankle and may not be there for the Falcons in the season finale, hurting the already depleted corps of backs.

The key to this game may very well be the Bucs’ ability to shutdown the Atlanta running attack. Everything the Falcons do breathes off the running game. Shut it down and you have a great chance at winning the game. Fail and the Falcons might run you into oblivion.

Atlanta boasts the 17th ranked running attack in the league, while Tampa Bay continues to struggle, ranked 30th against the run.

Advantage: Atlanta

 

Tampa Bay Buccaneers Special Teams vs. Atlanta Falcons Special Teams

The one unit the Bucs can point to and say no one is better than is the special teams. The “We-fense”, as special teams coordinator Rich Bisaccia calls it, remains among league leaders in coverage, return yards, and return touchdowns. The Bucs are also getting consistent play from replacement kicker Connor Barth and punter Sam Paulescu.

Atlanta’s been pretty solid in kick coverage, but not so good in punt coverage. They also are in the top 10 in kickoff and punt return average.

Former Buccaneers kicker Matt Bryant replaced Jason Elam as kicker but is suffering from the effects of an injury and the sad loss of his father.

Michael Koenen continues as a solid punter for the birds.

Advantage: Tampa Bay

 

Coaching

Raheem Morris is completing his first season as Buccaneers head coach, and he is 3-12.

Mike Smith is in his second season with the Falcons and is 19-12 as head coach. He took the Falcons to the playoffs in his first season.

Advantage: Atlanta

 

Intangibles

  • Tampa Bay looks to win their third straight game for the first time since November of last season.
  • Several Bucs players have come out in support of Morris, and they’ve played hard for him down the stretch.
  • Atlanta looks to put together back-to-back winning seasons for the first time in their 43-year franchise history.

Advantage: Push

 

Prediction:

The Bucs enter the season finale with renewed confidence, thanks to consecutive victories. There are turning points in franchises when the players finally buy into what the coaches are selling, go out, and perform.

The Bucs may be at a critical juncture here. A victory over the Falcons may give ownership enough confidence to keep continuity and avoid the seduction of the quick money grab of Bill Cowher.

A loss could invalidate the last two ball games, further disenchant an already jaded fanbase and lead to Morris’ dismissal.

This is, without question, the biggest game of Morris’ coaching career.

The Bucs should have beaten the Falcons in Atlanta, and they weren’t even playing at the level they are right now.

Atlanta comes in very banged up, and with the Bucs having a lot to play for, I think they pull this one out in a nailbiter.

Final Score: Tampa Bay 20, Atlanta 17.

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Brady Quinn, Derek Anderson Await Mike Holmgren’s Decision

Published: January 1, 2010

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Happy New Year to you and yours! One game left, and a whole pile of questions greet Cleveland Browns fans in the New Year.

 

Derek Anderson has one game left to impress Mike Holmgren enough to be kept around for one more year, but even a 300-plus yard performance probably won’t be enough for Anderson to wear brown and orange another year.

 

It’s not a bad or a good thing. It’s a disappointing end to what was once considered a very promising career.

 

Anderson grabbed the reigns in the 2007 season and took his game to new heights. Unfortunately, cracks began appearing in his game fairly early on, and supporters of that year’s first round draft pick, Brady Quinn, were quick to jump on those cracks.

 

Then the meltdown against Cincinnati forever sealed his fate with a good majority of the fanbase. When a quarterback intercepts a team out of the playoffs, that doesn’t bode well for his future, Pro Bowl selection or not.

 

Going into the 2008 season, Anderson was the starter, but Quinn was lurking should Anderson falter. Anderson did nothing but give Quinn supporters fodder for their argument, but Quinn injured his throwing finger almost immediately after being named starter.

 

In 2009, the scars from the debacle that was the quarterback competition still linger. Once again, Quinn is injured, but now having had time to show more “stuff.” The problem is that Quinn hasn’t been very impressive.

 

Quinn throws fewer interceptions, but he seems to have the same accuracy problems Anderson has. Throw into this mix offensive coordinator Brian Daboll’s soul-killing, mind-numbing awfulness, and the jury still really should be out on Quinn.

 

However, Holmgren is the one in charge now, and if he knows one thing, it’s quarterbacks. Holmgren most likely already has a good idea of what he wants to do. Whatever his decision is, the fans should throw their full support behind it.

 

Unlike Eric Mangini, Holmgren has earned the benefit of the doubt. That’s not meant to be an easy bash on Mangini; it’s stating the reality of the situation.

 

Mangini defenders’ line of argument has been that Mangini wasn’t given a fair chance and was maligned and doomed in the eyes of the local media, and a good portion of the fanbase, from day one.

 

While not completely false, as I’ve said before, Mangini does a lot of his own grave digging. No one should feel sorry for him because of it. Dealing with the media is part of the job. If you don’t like it, don’t take the job.

 

Add to this the fact Mangini never won anything as a head coach, and his arrogance over the position and tendency to be heavy-handed never sat well with anybody.

 

Now Holmgren is in charge, and Mangini is on the hot seat.

 

Holmgren had a teleconference with the media earlier this week, and I talk about it here .

 

The only things to really add are questions. Does bringing in the “right guys” as quickly as possible spell the end for Mangini, whose early mistakes doomed the season before it really began?

 

If Holmgren decides to scrap both quarterbacks and start over, who will he go for in the draft? Or will he go the free agency route?

 

Has Mangini done enough over the last month to save his job? Does Holmgren believe Mangini can accept no longer being the guy in charge in Cleveland?

 

The next 10 days will start answering many questions and set the tone for the 2010 season. Hopefully, that tone will be a winning one.

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