... should see me during the offseason. I watch the NFL Network with the same intensity of a man who watches the home videos he made with the ex-girlfriend who just broke up with him. I go through withdrawal symptoms like night sweats, body aches, and visions of Clinton Portis dancing in my head. I basically turn into Pookie from New Jack City. 

And I use every opportunity to talk like Peter King, even when I'm watching Dancing With The Stars with my 70-year-old grandmother.

"OK Grandma. Here's the three things you need to know about Shawn Johnson. She's the best athlete in the history of the show. She's an Olympic gold medalist so the pressure won't bother her. And her cha-cha-cha to Michael Jackson's P.Y.T. is one of the best dances of the season."

"That's nice Keith. Now when the commercials come on I want you to help your grandma find her dentures. I've lost my dang teeth again!!"

Now that the greatest sport in America is back, I ca...

Read Complete Article at Bleacher Report - NFL
Article Source: BleacherReport.com

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