Come to Think of it: NFL to Put Jay Cutler on Payroll of Every Team (Satire)

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for NFLSportChannel.com

Published: November 29, 2009

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... announced today that Bears QB Jay Cutler's salary will be equally distributed to all of its teams, effective immediately.

Said Goodell of the surprising move, "Look, Cutler does his damnest to throw the ball to each team he plays, which helps them win, right? Well, then it's only fair that the money the Bears are paying him gets shared by the entire league."

"With the length and amount of that contract he's signed to, the Bears can't pull him, so eventually Cutler will play against most of the teams in the NFL before his career is over, and I just think his expected contribution to those teams should be recognized."

The Bears were not immediately available for comment, with Lovie Smith saying only that he couldn't personally vouch for the fact that Cutler plays for the Bears.

"Jay Cutler? Yes, I've heard the name. But I'm not going to get into questions about whether he plays football, and if so, if it's for us or what have you. I just know that we still ha...

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