"What? We don't have a minor league system?" said team president Tom Lewand. "Look, I obviously don't know all that much about football from the results you've seen on the field here. But, when we told Culpepper we were sending him to the minors he just left and went somewhere. We're not sure exactly where he went to, but he's not with our team anymore, and that's the important thing."

Indeed, Culpepper's whereabouts are currently unknown. Authorities have begun searching small towns in the Detroit area in an attempt to find him, as they believe he could be wandering the streets looking for a minor league franchise. They believe they will find him in no time, they just have to follow the interceptions....

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